I spent all my NBA writing time of late on two things for Hardwood Paroxysm, so despite my best efforts, there will be nothing new from me here today. But much of that stuff will interest all of yall just as much, so head over to take a gander.
In my opinion, the most interesting nugget was a note about KG’s decision to take back-to-back jumpers late in Boston’s loss to G-State last night, despite having two clear mismatches on the guys guarding him (Monta Ellis and Corey Maggette).
Here’s the full breakdown.
Lemon Face – KG Fading Away
After resting on the bench for quite some time, KG entered the game in the fourth quarter with about 6 minutes to go and his team down by 5. About three possessions later, he found himself with the ball being guarded by Monta Ellis. To be completely fair, he didn’t have a ton of time left on shotclock, but that does not forgive the terrible, awkward, off-balance fadeaway he opted to take over a 6?3? guy who weighs less than the sandwich Big Baby ate during half-time. Then, on the next trip down the floor, Garnett again found himself with the ball in the midrange and, again, had himself a nice mismatch, this time over Corey Maggette. What did KG do? He took and badly missed another off-balance fadeaway. Rajon Rondo was able to score the next 6 points for Boston and keep them within a few missed Ray Allen threes from coming back to steal the win on the road, but it’s inexcusable for the Big Ticket to ruin two key fourth quarter possessions — especially when Paul Pierce isn’t playing, Rondo is reluctantly not completely taking over and Ray Allen is shooting like Marquis Daniels. That’s just not a winning formula for the Celtics. In fact, I actually have the formula that proves it.
And, yes, the main reason I’m posting this is just so I can include the corresponding formula that explains why KG should not be doing this. It was devised by Rakim, who we know drops science like a scientist, so you know it’s good.
When you think of a “warrior,” an image of a Blue Man Group-looking dude on steroids holding a thunderbolt is conjured up in your mind, right? Wait, you’re actually picturing Kevin Costner wearing bear skin garments holding a spear? Sick bastard.
I get it, the dude is supposed to be a warrior wielding a thunderbolt. And since I didn’t read comic books, the only guy I know who threw thunderbolts was Zeus. And Zeus was just a big ol’ whore … which I guess is fitting since both the Warriors and Too $hort represent Oakland.
But Blue Man Warrior isn’t prepared to throw the thunderbolt down from the heavens as Zeus did. No, he looks like he’s about to shank someone in the shower.
Then you have the Eyes Wide Shut mask. Boy, the artist really has a thing for Greek mythology/Stanley Kubrick flick carnal undertones. He or she probably nicknamed the rendered character Fidelio and spanks it to creepy piano music.
Which brings me to another issue. Dude has his shirt off. How many warriors go to war without protecting their vital organs? None that I know. Brendan Haywood would probably call this warrior a regular Stephon Marbury.
Yep, the Golden State Warriors logo pretty much sucks. And if you were wondering … yes, I think I can do better. I’m talking neon-colored arm tassels people. But hey, I guess the current version is better than the smiling, basketball-dribbling Native American that the franchise first used as a logo when it was in Philadelphia.
The one reason and one reason only that I’m posting this video is to better familiarize you with the nickname that Golden State Warrior fans use for Corey Maggette (UPDATE: I’m not gonna verify this, but it was actually created by Basketbawful according to commenter flitzy).
They call him Bad Porn.
According to my anonymous sources, this is done because in any game in which Corey Maggette is playing, you’re sure to see a lot of penetration — but you’re probably not gonna enjoy it. Just like bad porn. Get it?
Anyway, he travels six times on one play in the video below. Or something. (via Dime)
UPDATE: Bad Porn has nothing on Thunder Dan, who walks eight times on this play. (via TrueHoop)
After morning reports that a “whoopty fuck” deal of Al Harrington for Malik Rose was about to go down, the Knicks have instead traded their best two players, Jamal Crawford and Zach Randolph (plus end-of-the-bench fodder Mardy Collins), for the craptacular package that is the aforementioned Al Harrington, the I-was-good-four-years-ago Cuttino Mobley, and the soon-to-be-staple-at-Scores Tim Thomas. Thomas and Cuttino come from the Clippers, who will get Zach, and Baby Al comes from the Warriors, who will get Jamal. Nobody, not even his mom, cares who got Mardy Collins.
Lot of action.
This is all clearly a cap-space move and now, as Tom Ziller notes, the Knicks only have four players under contract for the 2010 summer free agent bonanza: known nacho aficionado Eddy Curry, the promising Wilson Chandler, the whatever Jared Jeffries, and the Italian Rooster Danilo Galinari. Combined they are scheduled to make a meager $23 million, which is a ridiculous more than $35 million under the current salary cap. (And $5 million of that is actually non-guaranteed since Wilson and Rooster are team options.) (Hat tip to Baller Blogger)
In short, they will have a shitload of coin.
Knicks GM Donnie Walsh sure is putting a lot of faith in the fact that LeBron (or at least Dwayne Wade) will come to MSG in 2010 — but then again, why wouldn’t he? Of course someone will come. It’s New York and MSG is the Mecca. So even if it’s not LeBron, they’ll definitely get one of these beasts.
Regardless, have fun watching this abomination of a roster for the next 150 games, Knickerbocker fans. And just to show that I’m not entirely heartless, here’s something to help keep your spirits up until 2010. More importantly, cop that new Q-Tip album. It’s good. (video via Straight Bangin’)
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