The Clippers had a one final shot to beat the Grizzlies on Saturday. Down one with just over five ticks left, they inbounded to Baron Davis, who in customary Baron Davis fashion took a terrible shot.
People (on Twitter anyway … including some jerk named @BothTeamsPlayed) were killing Vinny Del Negro for calling a timeout just to set up a fadeaway 20-footer for Beardy, but it turns out it wasn’t all his fault. This was weird to find out since most of the world’s problems are Vinny of the Black’s fault. One EPA study, for example, claims that climate change can almost entirely be blamed on Vinny’s refusal to stop using aerosol hairspray. He also assassinated Franz Ferdinand and invented malaria for his third grade science fair. Way to go, dude.
There have been a lot of great developments so far during NBA Playoffs: Week 1.
Deron Williams proved to be even more amazing than we thought. The Spurs stole home court from the Mavs. Josh Smith has devoured four souls. Dwyane Wade learned new and more vengeful ways to hate his teammates. Joakim Noah went to war with the city of Cleveland. Gerald Wallace suffered 14 undiagnosed concussions. And J-Rich had the best game of his career.
Still, the best development of this postseason thus far has not happened on the court or even within Joakim’s scrunchy — it has happened in Photoshop.
Doc Funk has been dropping masterfully captioned photos after each game, and every batch is better than the last. LOLz for dayz. So to help spread awareness and revisit some of the awesome, I’m planning to do a little “best of” recap each Friday until the trophy is handed out by posting my fav five (don’t call it that) of the week.
John Salmons must have had a very conflicted Tuesday evening. One on hand, he repeatedly got torched down the stretch by Paul Pierce, who decided to drill pull-up jumper after pull-up jumper in the fourth quarter and overtime after realizing that Bulls coach Vinny of the Black has a learning disability and thus was not going to send a double team at him. But on the other hand, John probably looked in the mirror at some point after the game and saw this fantastic face growth while Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” started playing inside his head.
This six-minute video on trash-talking features a stunning array of late-80s NBA nostalgia. (via NESW Sports)
Even forgetting everything in the title, MJ’s debonair suspenders and John Spider Sally’s windsuit alone could have carried this thing, not to mention the three or four white dudes who don’t even look athletic enough to be agents for the modern player let alone in a uniform.
As for content, there are few decent jokes/tales of shit-talking lore. We also get a nice preview of Reggie’s future awkward on-camera personality. Plus, there’s a Craig Hodges sighting — something that hasn’t happened in a solid decade. Did he die or something?