Posts tagged as:

Vinny of the Black

Baron Davis’ Game-Losing Shot

by Jared Wade on December 13, 2010 at 2:09 am · 0 comments

The Clippers had a one final shot to beat the Grizzlies on Saturday. Down one with just over five ticks left, they inbounded to Baron Davis, who in customary Baron Davis fashion took a terrible shot.

People (on Twitter anyway … including some jerk named @BothTeamsPlayed) were killing Vinny Del Negro for calling a timeout just to set up a fadeaway 20-footer for Beardy, but it turns out it wasn’t all his fault. This was weird to find out since most of the world’s problems are Vinny of the Black’s fault. One EPA study, for example, claims that climate change can almost entirely be blamed on Vinny’s refusal to stop using aerosol hairspray. He also assassinated Franz Ferdinand and invented malaria for his third grade science fair. Way to go, dude.

But in this case, he should be largely absolved of blame. I explain it all in this guest post I did for Sebastian Pruiti’s sensataional blog NBA Playbook. Go read that.

Known Associates: Clippers, Franz Ferdinand, Grizzlies, The Beard, Vinny of the Black, Vinny of the Black: The Cause of and Solution to All of Life's Problems

{ 0 comments }

Doc Funk Friday

by Jared Wade on April 23, 2010 at 3:50 pm · 2 comments

There have been a lot of great developments so far during NBA Playoffs: Week 1.

Deron Williams proved to be even more amazing than we thought. The Spurs stole home court from the Mavs. Josh Smith has devoured four souls. Dwyane Wade learned new and more vengeful ways to hate his teammates. Joakim Noah went to war with the city of Cleveland. Gerald Wallace suffered 14 undiagnosed concussions. And J-Rich had the best game of his career.

Still, the best development of this postseason thus far has not happened on the court or even within Joakim’s scrunchy — it has happened in Photoshop.

Doc Funk has been dropping masterfully captioned photos after each game, and every batch is better than the last. LOLz for dayz. So to help spread awareness and revisit some of the awesome, I’m planning to do a little “best of” recap each Friday until the trophy is handed out by posting my fav five (don’t call it that) of the week.

Be sure to check out Doc Funk’s Brain on Funk for many, many more everyday.

And please let me know in the comments if I missed your favorite.

Here goes:

matt barnes block bobcats orlando magic

Matt Barnes and some ref from Magic/Bobcats Game 2

kevin durant phil jackson

Kevin Durant and Phil Jackson from Lakers/Thunder Game 1

lebron locker room media

LeBron from Cavs/Bulls Game 2

vinny del negro

Vinny of the Black from Cavs/Bulls Game 3

kevin durant russell westbrook thunder

KD and Russell Westbrook from Lakers/Thunder Game 3

Known Associates: 2010 NBA Playoffs, Anthony Parker, Arrested Development, Bobcats, Bulls, Cavs, Doc Funk, Doc Funk Friday, Durant, Joakim, Lakers, LeBron, Magic, Matt Barnes, Russell Westbrook, Thunder, Vinny of the Black, Zen Master

{ 2 comments }

Great Moments in Facial Hair History: Vol. XII

by Jared Wade on April 29, 2009 at 11:46 am · 0 comments

John Salmons must have had a very conflicted Tuesday evening. One on hand, he repeatedly got torched down the stretch by Paul Pierce, who decided to drill pull-up jumper after pull-up jumper in the fourth quarter and overtime after realizing that Bulls coach Vinny of the Black has a learning disability and thus was not going to send a double team at him. But on the other hand, John probably looked in the mirror at some point after the game and saw this fantastic face growth while Louis Armstrong’s “What a Wonderful World” started playing inside his head.

Moral of the story: Win some, lose some.

Therefore, this Great Moment is dedicated to the man we in the NBA Twitterverse have affectionately begun calling Fish Sticks. And, yes, by “we” I mean “me.”

And in mildly related Bulls news, this is my favorite cartoon thus far from the Garbage Time-All Stars.

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless—boys and women—and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying (Photo by Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images)

Known Associates: Bulls, Celtics, Derrick Rose, Great Moments in Facial Hair History, John Salmons, The Truth, Vinny of the Black

{ 0 comments }

Reggie’s Haircut, Ron Harper’s Chain, Manute Bol’s Sir Status, Vinny of the Black’s Uncle Tony, Xavier’s Little One and Kurt Rambis’ Mustache

by Jared Wade on March 4, 2009 at 4:57 pm · 0 comments

This six-minute video on trash-talking features a stunning array of late-80s NBA nostalgia. (via NESW Sports)

Even forgetting everything in the title, MJ’s debonair suspenders and John Spider Sally’s windsuit alone could have carried this thing, not to mention the three or four white dudes who don’t even look athletic enough to be agents for the modern player let alone in a uniform.

As for content, there are few decent jokes/tales of shit-talking lore. We also get a nice preview of Reggie’s future awkward on-camera personality. Plus, there’s a Craig Hodges sighting — something that hasn’t happened in a solid decade. Did he die or something?

Known Associates: Chuck Person, Craig Hodges, Danny Ainge, John Sally, Kurt Rambis, Larry Bird, MJ, Reggie, Ron Harper, Vinny of the Black, Xavier

{ 0 comments }