I have long operated under the assumption that trade rumors are probably the dumbest thing about the NBA — and most likely all of sports. The nonproductive nature of all the discussion and writing centered around things that will probably never happen both bores me to tears and sort of disappoints me since all the people involved could certainly doing more enjoyable things than collectively wasting everyone’s time.
This one should be easy. Take a rocket, maybe add some fire or an explosion, and you’re done. So why does the Rockets logo look like it was lifted from the cover of a teen vampire novel?
Johnny Logo Designer must have been a closet goth, but you’ve got to at least give him credit for convincing the organization that the obvious bloody fang and stake motif was actually an abstract rocket or something. He was probably a big hit at the local Hot Topic for pulling that off.
The problem is that abstract only works when you’re a team like the Knicks whose name doesn’t mean anything. When you’re the Rockets, you use — wait for it — a fucking rocket. It’s not rocket science (wocka wocka). About the only good aspect of their logo is that they didn’t include the a basketball in the image. It amazes me that so many teams have found this necessary considering that the use of a basketball is implied by the fact that they are, surprise, a basketball team.
It’s good thing that the Twilight books didn’t come out until a few years after Houston debuted this logo or someone might have a spooky lawsuit on their hands — although the Buffy the Vampire Slayer people might want to consult an attorney since I wouldn’t put it past this franchise to “bite” something from pop culture. I mean, do you think the Rockets name was a coincidence when the team started in San Diego in the late 1960s during the height of the space program? It’s not like naming your team, say, the Raptors because Jurassic Park was number one at the box office, but still.
In the end, we are dealing with a basketball team logo here. It’s not supposed to be fine art. And if you really think about it, the vampire logo might actually be appropriate. After all, Yao and T-Mac are pretty much the living dead.
And just like their careers, it’s probably time to drive a stake into this logo’s heart.
Dig it.
Morgan O’Rourke is editor in chief of Risk Management magazine. When he’s not listening to music, he enjoys swearing at his television while watching the Mets and Knicks.
Unlike True Blood, there will be no naked Anna Paquin at Rockets games.
For the headline that rhyme with half a dime, you know Weezy had to go big.
And what? You thought lil money was gonna disappoint? Please.
I also just love Ron Artest with the Rockets. He gives them an aggressive edge, but after what happened last week against the Suns I think that pretty much goes without saying. The Rockets never would have gotten into it like that without him. Tracy McGrady? Come on. This is the same guy who said he wasn’t coming to New Orleans if the All-Star game was there. That guy? Come on. So then when the All-Star game came around who all of a sudden gets an injury? Tracy McGrady. Yeah. And the best part about that fight was that Artest did not even move. He did not get involved. I felt bad when Steve Nash got knocked to the floor, that poor little guy. Rafer Alston’s from the playground, so that’s gonna happen. Shout out to him because that’s my homie.
But Skip wasn’t always Lil Wayne’s homie. They actually mixed it up one game when dude was sitting courtside and he got offended after Rafer made an “inappropriate gesture.” What Weez considers “inappropriate,” I have no idea, but I’m picturing a donkey show-type scenario. Then again, that probably would have made Sportscenter.
Rafer and I have an interesting history. There was one game back when I had courtside seats with the Hornets when I was talking trash to him and he made an inappropriate gesture toward me after he made a shot. I’d been heckling him the whole game, talking trash and I was very offended by that gesture so I kept talking. And then Tracy McGrady came over near me and bent over to make it look like he was catching his breath, but he had really come over to talk to me about it. Chris Paul came and did the same thing. He was like “Whatever you’re doing it’s working ’cause you’re getting in his head.” He stopped shooting after that. We had a good talk after the game and we worked things out. He’s a good guy, so shout out to him.
He also talks about how him and Flash randomly live in the same building in Miami.
Dwyane Wade actually lives in my building. We have this building where you are the only person living on a given floor, so when the elevator opens it’s just your place. People usually just leave their doors wide open like I do and treat the elevator like their real front door because you’re not supposed to ever stop on a floor that isn’t yours. But one day I got on there and the floor stopped at eight and the door opened and there was Dwyane Wade standing there. I hollered at him and told him he had a nice place. We live on the beach, but the funny thing is some guys in his entourage have a place in another building and my entourage lives directly across from them. So my entourage and his entourage are always out playing basketball together. D-Wade’s a cool guy, but I’ve never really been invited to his games. I guess I need tickets. I guess we could play video games or something together when we’re both home, but I don’t know if he plays and I’m not so good. I like to play golf and soccer video games, anyway.
Lastly, and in case you needed another reason to hate the guy, Nelly doesn’t believe in Chris Paul. C’mon, dude’s got more game than the Bulls and Sonics. Also…kill yourself.
We bet on games sometimes and last year we bet a pretty large sum of money on the Hornets. Nelly didn’t think they’d make it past the first round and I did, so we put money on it. When I beat him he had to pay me $19,000 dollars. That’s the most I’ve ever bet on sports.
This video has poor resolution and will probably be taken down by the proprietary NBA video overlords shortly, but the little scuffle between the Suns and Rockets last night was pretty sweet. (Here’s a second link for when the video below inevitably goes dead. Hat tip to MVNSoccer and Herika.)
Matt Barnes kicks things off with a nice forearm shiver on Rafer when he tries to set a pick — something to which Skip to My Lou takes exception. Then, as those two get in each others’ grills and a crowd begins to form, in flies little Stevie Nash, who is immediately cast aside by a healthy, two-armed TMac shove. Rafer grabs onto a fallen Nash, but just as that’s happening, Shaq says “Alright, you little fuckers,” and discards both Tracy and Yao to the canvass before pushing about six dudes across the entire court in a single, easy motion. Old boy is no joke.
There was no real damage aside from a sizable gash on Nash’s already pocked-up neck, ejections for Rafer and Barnes, and a couple of techs.
Given that Reggie is my favorite player, I’m genuinely conflicted about his post-NBA analyst work. Sometimes, he’s rather insightful and does a good job of providing recently-left-the-League insight without overly involving himself. But he also makes some odd remarks at times and has a brand of humor/concept of social interaction that can occasionally be somewhat grating — something especially evident when he’s alongside Kenny, Chuck and EJ in Atlanta and coming off like that college kid you were friends with but never really wanted to tell about a party. He’s sort of like the McLovin of Inside the NBA.
There may be no better microcosm to depict this duality than TNT’s new “Reggie’s Mailbag” feature.
Here, he answers a question about the Rockets with some great stats on the number of games played by Yao, TMac and Tru Warier over the past few years and generally makes a few good points. But some element of the whole thing that I can’t quite put my finger on also makes the segment fairly awkward. Or maybe its just his clunky cue-card reading skill and me being overly critical. Who knows?
Regardless, the real point here is that hearing the games played stats for Houston’s big three laid out is interesting and it’s worth two minutes of your time to hear what Reggie has to say about the squad — a team he has predicted will win the West. And the secondary point is that I’ll probably be linking to these things regularly unless they start being horrible.
But for some reason, NBA.com still won’t let you embed videos, so you’ll have to click this link.
And if you wanna ask dude a question, send it to: reggiesmailbag@turner.com.
After further deliberation, Reggie's post-NBA career is going fantastic.
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