Tag Archives: The Machine

Doc Funk Friday, Vol. IV

So I completely forgot about doing this whole Doc Funk Friday thing for like three straight weeks. My bad, comedy. Won’t let it happen again. In case you forgot, these are my favorite five Doc Funk captions from the past week. You can see many, many, many more masterworks over at Brain On Funk.

Check it early and often.

Kevin Garnett Doc Rivers

kobe bryant

Glen Big Baby Davis

Kevin Garnett Sheed

Shannon Brown

Sasha Goes to School

This video really isn’t for everyone. Honestly, it’s probably not for many. Possibly, it’s just for me. But from my vantage point on life, this nine-minute video of Sasha Vujacic visiting an elementary school in Los Angeles may be more comedically enjoyable than anything else featured on this blog today.

And, more importantly, posting this video allows me to mention that I was only able to discover the footage of Sasha hanging out with these kids after a friend informed me about Sasha’s new-ish personal website SashaVujacic18.com, which was designed by the guy who runs LABallTalk.com, which is the website where I first saw a link to The Machine Videos, which in its latest episode attached the crybaby-label to Jerry Sloan, who I once compared to Tommy Lee Jones, who, in 1991, starred in the Oliver Stone film JFK with…Kevin Bacon.

This is Like the Luck of the Irish, Only Machine’s Not Irish So You Figure It Out

The Machine videos are by far the most consistently great things that exist in the NBA’s internet universe. So it was not at all surprising that Lakers-Fan’s new Sasha Vujacic video detailing his Game 4 and Game 5 performances versus the “Jazzercize” is fantastic. (video via @EthanJames via Ball Don’t Lie)

But given the added White Men Can’t Jump and Sandy Lyle mentions/footage, this one reaches epic proportions. The only way this thing could have been better is if Machine went with “…but we all know Machine not gay. Machine sexually active in the community with many lady friends…” after talking about how he enjoys touching Kobe’s ass.

In related news, Zach Harper of Talk Hoops is the only person I’ve met since my high-school best friend “Cools” that can hang with me on White Men Can’t Jump quotes. And for some reason, we decided to go toe-to-toe the other night exchanging quotes during the Playoffs. Given his “Well whose ever fucking debt, I’m not getting shot over it” and “Gloria, it was a pleasure. I like those rings. They’re kinda fly,” I think Zach was probably the victor. Then again, my verbatim accuracy was probably a little higher. But much like the Special Olympics, the real winners were everybody. So if, like me, you consider White Men Can’t Jump to be the only legitimate competition that Casablanca has for best film of all time-status, you will probably enjoy this rundown of our White Men Can’t Jump quote-off.

UPDATE: Zach and I recently determined that a person’s ability to spout off an appropriate Billy Ho or Sidney Dean quote for any occasion is known as that person’s “WMCJe Ne Sais Quoi.” Adjust your life plans accordingly.

UPDATE PART DEUX: Here’s yet another chronicle in ongoing saga that is The Machine Videos.