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The Glove

The Top 50 NBA Commercials of All Time

by Jared Wade on April 12, 2010 at 1:28 am · 9 comments

mars blackmon

In the Spring of 2007, I was just a young pup in this NBA blogging world. Since then, I have accumulated literally dozens of readers and made untold tens of dollars writing about the NBA, but back then the only people reading this blog were me and Drop Dead Fred. (He didn’t even like it … I just spammed his Gmail account with links to my posts.)

Then, on April 4, 2007, I did a post called “The Top 50 NBA Commercials of All Time” that got linked to from Henry Abbott’s new ESPN version of TrueHoop and a cavalcade of other NBA blogs that probably don’t even exist anymore and, like, 40,000 people showed up. Since my previous high in any day was somewhere south of 4 unique users, it was pretty cool.

Unfortunately, within the year I switched hosting companies and perhaps-due-to-nonpayment (who remembers really?), I lost pretty much all my old content in the transfer. It seemed like a bummer at the time, but honestly the commercial thing and like three other posts were probably the only not completely terrible things I ever did. Still, losing stuff sucks.

HOWEVER, through the miracle of the a tech-smart friend of mine, I was recently able to recover some stuff. And so, mostly because I want to put it back in my archives, I’m re-posting it as it was originally posted verbatim in April, 2007. (Thus, forgive the omission of any spots from the last three years that warrant inclusion.)

Additionally, this may as well be the formal launch of “The NBA Commercial Project,” which will be an attempt to gather links to video for every NBA commercial ever made. We’ll start with just these 50 and build on that. And that’s where I’ll need your help. Head over there and drop links to videos in the comments.

Just do it (wocka, wocka, wocka).

Check the full, original Top 50 after the jump.

[click to continue…]

Known Associates: 7-UP, Adam Morrison, Adidas, Air Jordans, Air Pennys, Ali G, Bill Russell, Bill Walton, Brandi Chastain, Cherokee Parks, Chuckster, Damon Stoudamire, Darius Miles, Diesel, Dip Set, Dirk, Drop Dead Fred, ESPN The Magazine, Ewing, Flash, Fun Police, Gheorge, Grant Hill, Groundhog Day, Hibachi, Jadakiss, Jeter, JKidd, Johnny Kilroy, Kareem, KG, Larry Legend, LeBron, Lil Penny, Mamba, Mars Blackmon, McDonald's, MJ, Mos Def, My Giant, Nike, Nique, Penny, Pepsi, Powerade, Q, Reebok, Spike Lee, Sportscenter, Starbury, Steve Nash, The Answer, The Glove, The NBA Commercial Project, Tim Hardaway, TMac, TNT, Tom Gugliotta, Trackmasters, Vlade, WHIT EBOY, Wilt, Yao, Zeke, Zo

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Great Moments in Facial Hair History: Vol. XIII

by Jared Wade on May 27, 2009 at 11:39 am · 0 comments

Vincent Van Gogh. Emily Dickinson. Franz Kafka. Three artistic geniuses unrecognized in their own time.

Now, we can add one more name to that list.

Well, maybe not a name. But the fist-pumping, chest hair-flaunting, gold shark tooth-wearing, full beard-rocking hombre from 1995 who shows up 19 seconds into the below video has now officially been acknowledged for his unending contributions to humankind with this Great Moment in time.

Bonus: He’s probably not even dead yet.

(Bonus #2: GP’s spinning behind-the-back dish to Shawn Kemp is one of my favorite passes ever. Video via NBA Playoffs 2009 Tumblr)

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying

Known Associates: Great Moments in Facial Hair History, The Glove

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Brackets, Brackets, Brackets & More Brackets

by Jared Wade on March 26, 2009 at 6:56 pm · 2 comments

Since we’re kicking off week two of March Madness tonight, it seems an apt time to mention that everyone and their moms have a bracket-styled contest in which you can witness the wonders of Web 2.0 first hand by voting on some arbitrary matchups.

Ball Don’t Lie is rocking its NBA Bedlam Tournament, which has thus far featured inspiring contests like “Spurs Beards vs. Luis Scola’s Hair,” “Baller-in-Chief [Obama] vs. Marbury’s Head Tattoo” and “Inside the NBA vs. NBA TV Gametime.” The fact that both Steph and GP/CWebb are both not only losing but getting blown out like Chattanooga just further proves my theory that I’m watching an entirely different NBA than most people who may theoretically be reading this sentence.

Zoner Sports has it’s own version of Madness going on, and this one actually includes me somehow. Their “Best Sports Blog Names Tourney” features an array of well-known sports sites like Kissing Suzy Kolber, The Sports Hernia and Mr. Irrelevent in addition to the Both Teamsters Union’s own Both Teams Played Hard. Despite the #12 seed I was given, we mounted a first-round upset over some site called “Pittsburgh Sports and Mini-Ponies” and now look poised to take down #2 seed “Five Ounces of Pain” to advance yet again. Thanks for the votes, voters. I play solely for stats not championships, so I can’t say I really care all that much about winning this thing. But for poetry’s sake, it would be kind of dope to see an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Sheedtastic Supremacy in the Final Four, pinning me against Ball Don’t Lie. And, yes, if that does occur, I will guaranSheed victory. Vote early and vote often, Both Teamsters.

In vagina-ier news, NBA.com has its “Dance Team Bracket,” where you can vote on which NBA franchise has the best team of future strippers dancers. (via Heels on Hardwood)

Conversely, our girl ticktock6 over at Hornet’s Hype is running the “First Annual NBA Hot Baller Tournament,” where I presume the ladies and the gays can debate beefcake matchups like Popeye Jones vs. Tyronne Hill.

I think we all know who would walk away with the Belt of Sheedtastic Supremacy.

Known Associates: Barack, CWebb, Inside the NBA, Luis Scola, March Madness 2009, Popeye Jones, Spurs, Starbury, The Glove, Tuesday Fan Night, Tyronne Hill

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Diesel Receives the Reverse Rudy Treatment, Tony Parker is French, Muggsy is Better than Nate Robinson and the Spurs Can’t Win It All

by Jared Wade on January 30, 2009 at 3:27 pm · 1 comment

Since nothing but needless All-Star bickering is going on today and I have to post something to avoid the flaming dogshit on the porch treatment again (cut it out, mom), here’s a few videos from Inside the NBA last night.

The first features a remixed clip of Shaq who apparently was carried onto the court by the Suns’ scrub players last night. The TNT interns apparently thought it would be funny to put Chuckster’s head in front of Shaq and wait for Kenny to make “He’s fat” jokes. Unsuprisingly, it was a little funnier than it should have been. More importantly, we have Webber busting out his Tony Parker impression repeatedly, which is easily my favorite culturally insensitive but widely-embraced-regardless development of this NBA season

And here’s CWebb, Glove and Kenny throwing out some old school/new school NBA duos with somewhat similar games and deciding who is better. Predictably, the old-timers get unwarranted props. I mean, Tom Chambers was sorta sick wit it and all, but you’re really taking him over Dirk, GP? Although just as inexplicably, he takes Nate Robinson over Muggsy, who could flat out play D.

Someone mentioned the other day how it was weird that The Glove tends to be so dismissive of defense in his analysis when that is the exact thing that made him a Top 10 point guard of all time and a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

But since Gary Payton also tends to be fucking awesome constantly, it’s not really gonna sway my opinion. It’s sorta, how you say, like antlers on a hot chick. Whatever.

And just because some of you theoretically come here to find out information about what is actually going on in the NBA, here’s their takes on the Spurs this season. Boring.