Vincent Van Gogh. Emily Dickinson. Franz Kafka. Three artistic geniuses unrecognized in their own time.
Now, we can add one more name to that list.
Well, maybe not a name. But the fist-pumping, chest hair-flaunting, gold shark tooth-wearing, full beard-rocking hombre from 1995 who shows up 19 seconds into the below video has now officially been acknowledged for his unending contributions to humankind with this Great Moment in time.
Bonus: He’s probably not even dead yet.
(Bonus #2: GP’s spinning behind-the-back dish to Shawn Kemp is one of my favorite passes ever. Video via NBA Playoffs 2009 Tumblr)
“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying
Since we’re kicking off week two of March Madness tonight, it seems an apt time to mention that everyone and their moms have a bracket-styled contest in which you can witness the wonders of Web 2.0 first hand by voting on some arbitrary matchups.
Ball Don’t Lie is rocking its NBA Bedlam Tournament, which has thus far featured inspiring contests like “Spurs Beards vs. Luis Scola’s Hair,” “Baller-in-Chief [Obama] vs. Marbury’s Head Tattoo” and “Inside the NBA vs. NBA TV Gametime.” The fact that both Steph and GP/CWebb are both not only losing but getting blown out like Chattanooga just further proves my theory that I’m watching an entirely different NBA than most people who may theoretically be reading this sentence.
Zoner Sports has it’s own version of Madness going on, and this one actually includes me somehow. Their “Best Sports Blog Names Tourney” features an array of well-known sports sites like Kissing Suzy Kolber, The Sports Hernia and Mr. Irrelevent in addition to the Both Teamsters Union’s own Both Teams Played Hard. Despite the #12 seed I was given, we mounted a first-round upset over some site called “Pittsburgh Sports and Mini-Ponies” and now look poised to take down #2 seed “Five Ounces of Pain” to advance yet again. Thanks for the votes, voters. I play solely for stats not championships, so I can’t say I really care all that much about winning this thing. But for poetry’s sake, it would be kind of dope to see an Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Sheedtastic Supremacy in the Final Four, pinning me against Ball Don’t Lie. And, yes, if that does occur, I will guaranSheed victory. Vote early and vote often, Both Teamsters.
In vagina-ier news, NBA.com has its “Dance Team Bracket,” where you can vote on which NBA franchise has the best team of future strippers dancers. (via Heels on Hardwood)
Conversely, our girl ticktock6 over at Hornet’s Hype is running the “First Annual NBA Hot Baller Tournament,” where I presume the ladies and the gays can debate beefcake matchups like Popeye Jones vs. Tyronne Hill.
I think we all know who would walk away with the Belt of Sheedtastic Supremacy.
Since nothing but needless All-Star bickering is going on today and I have to post something to avoid the flaming dogshit on the porch treatment again (cut it out, mom), here’s a few videos from Inside the NBA last night.
The first features a remixed clip of Shaq who apparently was carried onto the court by the Suns’ scrub players last night. The TNT interns apparently thought it would be funny to put Chuckster’s head in front of Shaq and wait for Kenny to make “He’s fat” jokes. Unsuprisingly, it was a little funnier than it should have been. More importantly, we have Webber busting out his Tony Parker impression repeatedly, which is easily my favorite culturally insensitive but widely-embraced-regardless development of this NBA season
And here’s CWebb, Glove and Kenny throwing out some old school/new school NBA duos with somewhat similar games and deciding who is better. Predictably, the old-timers get unwarranted props. I mean, Tom Chambers was sorta sick wit it and all, but you’re really taking him over Dirk, GP? Although just as inexplicably, he takes Nate Robinson over Muggsy, who could flat out play D.
Someone mentioned the other day how it was weird that The Glove tends to be so dismissive of defense in his analysis when that is the exact thing that made him a Top 10 point guard of all time and a first-ballot Hall of Famer.
But since Gary Payton also tends to be fucking awesome constantly, it’s not really gonna sway my opinion. It’s sorta, how you say, like antlers on a hot chick. Whatever.
And just because some of you theoretically come here to find out information about what is actually going on in the NBA, here’s their takes on the Spurs this season. Boring.
If you can read that headline and then decide to not watch this video even without any further information, you probably shouldn’t be reading this site. (Disclaimer: It’s actually not that interesting.) (via NESW Sports)
Some of you don’t have NBA TV. And for that, I’m truly sorry.
Because Tuesday Fan Night has now become the best series on television, as Gary Payton and Chris Webber (and even to my complete shock and awe, Ahmad Rashad at times) have crafted the most entertaining show these eyes have seen for some time (since Always Sunny in Philadelphia concluded its latest season probably for those of you not into unspecified generalizations).
Last night, I flipped over there just mainly to confirm the Hornets/Lakers tip-off time, but five minutes later it had become evident that none of the horrible games that were on could possibly be better than The Glove and CWebb show. Mostly, GP spends his time yelling out relative non sequiturs in a high-pitched voice and repeating them incessantly for the next five seconds and Webber enjoys pointing and mocking Ahmad while spending exactly none of his time looking near the camera.
That probably sounds horrible. But it’s actually the exact opposite.
Let’s go to the tape.
Borrowing a strategy from Payton’s player of the week selection, the best segment last night was a 1A and 1B tie between the Joe Johnson “in the grocery store people don’t know who I am” bit and the Top 10 Plays of the Week viewing, during which they unleash the fantastic “Hueh HUEH hueh” (that’s my spelling of their horrible French stereotype impersonation of Tony Parker) about a half dozen times and a reaction to the amazing Pau Gasol-led fastbreak that can only be described as soul-pleasing.
In addition to the high comedy, both guys clearly know what they’re talking about when it comes to hoops so they do also provide a poor man’s version of the astute, unique analysis that you get from Kenny and Chuck on Inside the NBA as well. This isn’t the best representation of that, but here is their interview with CP3 last night where even GP gets into serious mode and you can see Webber ask one of his signature, conversationally insightful questions (though he does even like to repeat himself on those quite a bit). Another example is GP’s throwaway line last night about how he thinks Andre Miller is the best PG in the East — something to which I was like “Really??” at first, then was like “Yeah, probably could be if you don’t fall for the young’n hype of Devin, Rondo, etc.”
(Although entirely unrelated to this Tuesday Fan Night discussion, Kevin Pelton of Basketball Prospectus had a notably fantastic breakdown of his “Best Point Guards of the East” yesterday, in which he lists Rondo, Devin and Jameer. Better still is that this is only his “Part I” so we’re likely to get even more in-depth stat stuff from him on these guys shortly. I’ll keep ya posted.)
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