Spencer Hawes

Jamal Crawford and Nate Robinson were born to play for Mike D’Antoni • Roger Mason Jr. can flat-out ball • LeBron James is making his free throws • Gerald Green might actually not be horrible but he still constantly looks illiterate • Tim Duncan is svelte • Jason Kidd almost has TRIPLE DOUBLES • Jerry Stackhouse still has something left • Chris Duhon, much like both teams, played hard • Derrick Rose will turn this entire League into his own personal Khmer Rouge killing fields • Josh Howard rocks slick blazers • Mike Bibby is important • Dirk Nowitzki just made his first three of the season • Trevor Ariza is a significantly better basketball player than Lamar Odom • Jason Kidd is TRIPLE DOUBLES • Tim Duncan is the only All Star in the League who plays like he has nothing to prove, in a good way • Jordan Farmar made JKidd look stupid • Derek Fisher is somehow more ripped than ever • Gary Payton is an enjoyable analyst • Chris Webber is not so much • Spencer Hawes swatted the piss out of Kwame’s weaksause dunk attempt • Detroit won the trade • Rashad McCants has inked up substantially • Andris Biedrins has moved to number one in my Haircut Power Rankings • Stephen Jackson has testicles the size of ripe melons • Randy Foye, Mike Miller and Rashad McCants should all be embarrassed about that final “possession” in regulation • Stephen Jackson has testicles the size of monster truck tires • Randy Foye, Mike Miller and Rashad McCants should all be embarrassed for every “possession” in overtime • Bobby Brown wants to rock wit’cha, baby. All. Night. Long.

Everybody knows that Bobby Brown's true forte is poker, not basketball. This guy is not impressed.

Known Associates: Andris Biedrins, Ariza, Bibby, Birthday Cake, Bobby Brown, Chris Duhon, Cpt. Jack, CWebb, Derrick Rose, Dirk, Farmar, Fish, Groundhog Day, Jamal Crawford, JKidd, Josh Howard, Lamar Odom, League Pass Proclamations, LeBron, Mike D'Antoni, Mike Miller, Nate Robinson, Randy Foye, Rashad McCants, RMJ, Spencer Hawes, Spurs, Stackhouse, The Glove

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