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Shaq

The Miami Heat have created a great brand through 21 years of mostly successful on-court performance, a rotating cast of memorable players and — perhaps most of all — a logo, color scheme and overall style that have nearly made me forget just how dumb their name is. Fortunately, there are plenty of horrible tattoos out there walking around that help remind me to “Never Forget.”

Still, from Rony Seikaly and Glen Rice toiling away in obscurity to Timmy and Zo making waves in the East to Flash and Shaq bringing home the Larry O’Brien trophy, the franchise has enjoyed a nice linear arc of success. And the team’s entire style, along with its logo, has transformed from expansion fly to champion iconic. For a team that once retired Michael Jordan’s “23″ in its rafters, today, the only jersey you’re going to see on South Beach is a Dwyane Wade — or maybe a Rudy Gay.

Looking past any of that, juxtaposed against other NBA teams that use basketballs in their logos (looking squarely at you, Clipps and Nets), the Heat have laid out blueprint plans for how any expansion franchise in sports should create and manage its logo:

Step 1: Create a logo that relates to your name. (Disclaimer: If you’re name is “The Thunder,” change name before beginning logo process.)

Step 2: Make your logo simple, sticking to the script of what has worked historically while also — and this is where most teams go astray — adding a singular, unique element that sets you apart.

Step 3: Don’t use more than three colors — or four if completely necessary and you can give a legitimate, well-articulated reason for it.

Step 4: Don’t use ephemeral color combinations, lettering or design principles that will be dated in a decade. The last thing you want is to wind up like the Spurs, who abandoned their timeless silver-and-black logo in favor of colors representative of an interior design fad during the South West population boom, only to later realize that, yeah, don’t do that. Not so coincidentally, the Spurs have reverted back to their original look. See also: 76ers, Philadelphia; Pistons, Detroit. (And, yes, I realize that the Heat’s lettering might start to look dated within the next decade — although not necessarily. Regardless, they should be able to launch a preemptive, minor redesign that will avert looking like an early-90s relic if necessary.)

Step 5: If after a few years you determine that the logo is not perfect, tweak it a little provided you first determine that the logo is worth preserving. This is always the ideal way of changing things. Never change just for change’s sake. Worse still is changing for marketing sake or to create a new revenue stream. Fans have and want to maintain a connection to the past and even if it’s only five or six years, a change will be jarring and ultimately unfortunate. Still, be honest with yourselves. If the logo needs aborting, don’t hesitate — kick that bitch down the stairs.

Step 6: Once you have a good look, remember the best part of Jay-Z’s Blueprint and apply it to your franchise: Never Change.

What up to my Miami and St. Thomas connects.

miami heat logo

If Hov don’t sign LeBron, him and Flash gonna get paper longer than Pippen’s arms.

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The Big eQuotatious

by Jared Wade on August 28, 2009 at 1:44 pm

Shaq has many self-given nicknames. Normally, that’s not allowed. But since he’s Shaq, it is allowed.

My two personal favorites are probably Wilt Chamberneezy (which was self-assigned because he’s much like Wilt Chamberlain only neezy-er) and The Big Deporter (which was self-assigned because, as Bawketbawful states, both Arvydas Sabonis and Rik Smits “were outspoken about returning to their native countries after getting eliminated” by the Lakers in the 2000 Playoffs). But another one that’s pretty good is The Big Quotatious (which was self-assigned because, as it says in his Twitter bio, Diesel is “VERY QUOTATIOUS, I PERFORM RANDOM ACTS OF SHAQNESS”).

Now, after his recent Scrabble performance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show (his second great public Scrabble-playing display, it should be noted), we can probably add The Big eQuotatious to Shaq’s ever-expanding list of AKAs. (video from Ball Don’t Lie via NESW Sports)

In other Hall-of-Fame-center-on-late-night-TV news, a re-run of Bill Russell’s appearance on The Daily Show aired last night. I hadn’t seen it before, so it was new to me. And since Bill Russell might be the greatest human being alive (I mean, now that Billy Mays “Hayes” is dead), it was very enjoyable. You should watch it.

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Shaq in a Pink Diaper

by Jared Wade on August 26, 2009 at 12:59 pm

Much like President Bush Part Deux, I’m a big Misty May fan. And much like every real American, I’m a big Shaq fan.

Thus, here’s a video of those two — plus her tall, blond partner and some dude — squaring off in a rock ‘em, sock ‘em game of beach volleyball on Big Aristotle’s new show Shaq Vs., which features him trying to beat pro athletes from other sports at those other sports. It’s an idea he reportedly stole from Steve Nash, whose only public comment on the matter thus far has been: “I don’t want nobody sound like nobody from my clan, man. Keep it real — getcha own shit, man. And be original.” (video via Hooped Up)

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…in the form of a color-coded infotainment graphic that contrasts the two sides’ cumulative career Playoff scoring totals. (Taken directly from SuperSonicSoul via TalkHoops)

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Housekeeping, Some Lakers, Muggsy

by Jared Wade on June 21, 2009 at 4:37 pm

I am not using the end of the Finals as an excuse to disappear for the summer. We will be here forever. Forever and ever. And ever and ever.

But some things are afoot — top secret special new things have come to light things — and between that and a few long-form, still-simmering-on-the-stove things that I need the weekend to finish up, time restraints round this way have precluded me from helping provide the nation with what it desperately needs. (Luckily, Sports Guy was here for that. This was predictable, but, c’mon, Bill, we don’t need you wasting your time rebutting foolishness. I guess he won’t be buying this.)

Sorry bout that. But really, what’s left to say? Matt Moore of Hardwood Paroxysm pretty much summed it up. (Although Shaq did it even better.) If Odom are Ariza played well, the Lakers weren’t going to lose. And that’s what happened. Maybe the Magic can turn it around in Game 6? We’ll see.

So where does Kobe rank on the All-Time list now? Slam just “remixed” the Top 50 Players of All Time and has him at #12 (although they did it prior to the Finals).

And, yeah, it’s 6:00 on a Friday so I’m gonna go ahead and consider this collection of nothing an actual post. Meanwhile, look, a photo from @lowposts with the caption: “Well now you’re just bein’ an asshole, Michael.”

Yes, I know, digging all this up proves that I’m quite the investigative journalist. Bring on the Pulitzer.

UPDATE: Can’t believe I forgot these three photos of the Waltons. And just for fun, here’s Kobe vs. MJ in the 1998 All-Star Game.

bogues-mj

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Cap

by Jared Wade on June 11, 2009 at 7:40 pm

nba_jabbarhooks_800

Unfathomably, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar has become the most underrated player of all time. Among people born before 1975, he often tops the list of best players to ever lace em up. But as they do with Dr. J, many people under the age of 35 tend to see Kareem as an after-thought in the greatest of all time discussion and even stretch reality far enough to consider guys like Hakeem and Shaq yo be his superiors. Some people even regard him as the NBA version of Nolan Ryan — a guy who was really, really good at one thing and broke a bunch of records because he played forever.

Hopefully, most everyone reading this regards such opinions as the utter nonsense that they are. Kareem is at worst one notch behind Michael and Wilt along with other second-tier guys like Larry, Magic and Russell. The videos at the end of this post help show two of the reasons why. And kudos to both ESPN and JA Adande for putting together “Secrets of the Skyhook,” a must-view multimedia feature that includes a fantastic article, two great videos and several historical photos.

As a sports blogger, I guess I am for some reason not supposed to like ESPN all that much. Well, I certainly take issue with the direction that some programs on the Worldwide Leader have opted to take in the past few years, but, obviously, ESPN provides more amazing sports coverage in any given six months than the whole sports blogosphere has in its entire history. The collection of knowledge the network has amassed is staggering. To think that a Top 10 player of all-time like Magic Johnson qualifies as a throwaway talking head for the network is astounding. Every week, a truly great segment, article, production or creative endeavor of some other sort emerges from Bristol.

Maybe it’s just that the world has gotten accustomed to the great coverage ESPN (often) provides? Those of us who write about sports on the internet tend to be around the age where we don’t even know a world without ESPN. Hell, I read the NBA Daily Dime and TrueHoop almost every day but rarely even link to them because I figure you’ve already seen everything that they’re talking about. And while I enjoy Yahoo! Sports, SI.com, Deadspin and a few other “mainstream” sports sites, the idea that any of them have ever even come close to providing the same depth or breadth of coverage that the Mickey Mouse sports empire does is laughable.

Which, in a way, brings us back to Kareem.

In the videos below, Murdock from Airplane! and Jermaine O’Neal both suggest that one of the reasons the skyhook has gone the way of the telegraph is because it’s just not viewed as cool. It’s not “sexy” to emulate the skinny, bald dude with the goggles, they say. As a fan, it’s really not even cool to like Kareem. Not only did he gain a reputation as unlikable, but if you’re a Laker fan or just a hoopss head discussing the best players ever, it’s a lot more fun to talk about Magic. He has an unprecendented personal story, not only for an NBA player but for a human being. On the court, he was unique. He was dynamic. He was peerless. He threw fancy passes. peerless. He forced basketball to evolve. And, maybe most relevantly, his highlights don’t all look exactly the same.

What are you supposed to say about Kareem? He had the most unguardable move of all time. He was the maybe the most dependable offensive weapon we’ve ever seen. He was a great passer. He was a good rebounder. And he was a much better defender than he is ever credited as being because they didn’t always record blocks during his first five years in the League and because most of his regularly televised highlights were recorded after he turned 32 years old.

All true. All boring.

Because of that, Kareem’s legacy, while impeccable, loses some luster. Similarly, even if for different reasons, the fact that today’s ESPN has fallen below what everyone wants it to be has hampered its reputation. It is cooler to poke fun and discuss the network’s bygone glory days than it is to give ESPN credit for a great piece it puts out — let alone for being the unrivaled mass creator of great sports coverage.

With enough time, such perceptions start to infect reality. If repeated enough times, things like “ESPN sucks” and “Kareem wasn’t as good as Hakeem” permeate popular opinion. Then they start to became acceptable. As the views of those who actually saw Kareem in Milwaukee become less visible in public, that reality starts to fade.

They say history is an agreed upon fable. This is as true of sports as it is of political events. Today, however, we have video, analysis and countless written accounts of every sporting event, so our future understanding of the current era should be, at least somewhat, more aligned with what actually happened. Unfortunately, the footage and the first-hand accounts and essentially everything about Kareem’s prime is much less accessible to mass audiences. So we are left with the option of either believing or not believing what others say about it anecdotally for the most part. As a larger percentage of our cynical youth chooses the latter, popular opinion is reshaped. The truth is lost. History is re-written.

The solution to ensure accuracy and maintain a truer understanding of the Association’s past is accumulating more information and providing better access to it. That’s why we need more video of young Kareem playing basketball. That’s why we need aggregated written accounts of the past. That’s why we need the game’s legends to share first-hand accounts from their careers. That’s why we need the NBA to unearth all of its old footage and make it avaiable.

And, yes, despite what may be popular to say, that’s why we need ESPN distribute it to us.

Part I – The Skyhook

Part II – Unbreakable Record

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