Tag Archives: Shaq

The NBA Logo Ranking Project:
#3 – Miami Heat

The Miami Heat have created a great brand through 21 years of mostly successful on-court performance, a rotating cast of memorable players and — perhaps most of all — a logo, color scheme and overall style that have nearly made me forget just how dumb their name is. Fortunately, there are plenty of horrible tattoos out there walking around that help remind me to “Never Forget.”

Still, from Rony Seikaly and Glen Rice toiling away in obscurity to Timmy and Zo making waves in the East to Flash and Shaq bringing home the Larry O’Brien trophy, the franchise has enjoyed a nice linear arc of success. And the team’s entire style, along with its logo, has transformed from expansion fly to champion iconic. For a team that once retired Michael Jordan’s “23” in its rafters, today, the only jersey you’re going to see on South Beach is a Dwyane Wade — or maybe a Rudy Gay.

Looking past any of that, juxtaposed against other NBA teams that use basketballs in their logos (looking squarely at you, Clipps and Nets), the Heat have laid out blueprint plans for how any expansion franchise in sports should create and manage its logo:

Step 1: Create a logo that relates to your name. (Disclaimer: If you’re name is “The Thunder,” change name before beginning logo process.)

Step 2: Make your logo simple, sticking to the script of what has worked historically while also — and this is where most teams go astray — adding a singular, unique element that sets you apart.

Step 3: Don’t use more than three colors — or four if completely necessary and you can give a legitimate, well-articulated reason for it.

Step 4: Don’t use ephemeral color combinations, lettering or design principles that will be dated in a decade. The last thing you want is to wind up like the Spurs, who abandoned their timeless silver-and-black logo in favor of colors representative of an interior design fad during the South West population boom, only to later realize that, yeah, don’t do that. Not so coincidentally, the Spurs have reverted back to their original look. See also: 76ers, Philadelphia; Pistons, Detroit. (And, yes, I realize that the Heat’s lettering might start to look dated within the next decade — although not necessarily. Regardless, they should be able to launch a preemptive, minor redesign that will avert looking like an early-90s relic if necessary.)

Step 5: If after a few years you determine that the logo is not perfect, tweak it a little provided you first determine that the logo is worth preserving. This is always the ideal way of changing things. Never change just for change’s sake. Worse still is changing for marketing sake or to create a new revenue stream. Fans have and want to maintain a connection to the past and even if it’s only five or six years, a change will be jarring and ultimately unfortunate. Still, be honest with yourselves. If the logo needs aborting, don’t hesitate — kick that bitch down the stairs.

Step 6: Once you have a good look, remember the best part of Jay-Z’s Blueprint and apply it to your franchise: Never Change.

What up to my Miami and St. Thomas connects.

miami heat logo

If Hov don’t sign LeBron, him and Flash gonna get paper longer than Pippen’s arms.

The Big eQuotatious

Shaq has many self-given nicknames. Normally, that’s not allowed. But since he’s Shaq, it is allowed.

My two personal favorites are probably Wilt Chamberneezy (which was self-assigned because he’s much like Wilt Chamberlain only neezy-er) and The Big Deporter (which was self-assigned because, as Bawketbawful states, both Arvydas Sabonis and Rik Smits “were outspoken about returning to their native countries after getting eliminated” by the Lakers in the 2000 Playoffs). But another one that’s pretty good is The Big Quotatious (which was self-assigned because, as it says in his Twitter bio, Diesel is “VERY QUOTATIOUS, I PERFORM RANDOM ACTS OF SHAQNESS”).

Now, after his recent Scrabble performance on the Jimmy Kimmel Show (his second great public Scrabble-playing display, it should be noted), we can probably add The Big eQuotatious to Shaq’s ever-expanding list of AKAs. (video from Ball Don’t Lie via NESW Sports)

In other Hall-of-Fame-center-on-late-night-TV news, a re-run of Bill Russell’s appearance on The Daily Show aired last night. I hadn’t seen it before, so it was new to me. And since Bill Russell might be the greatest human being alive (I mean, now that Billy Mays “Hayes” is dead), it was very enjoyable. You should watch it.

Shaq in a Pink Diaper

Much like President Bush Part Deux, I’m a big Misty May fan. And much like every real American, I’m a big Shaq fan.

Thus, here’s a video of those two — plus her tall, blond partner and some dude — squaring off in a rock ’em, sock ’em game of beach volleyball on Big Aristotle’s new show Shaq Vs., which features him trying to beat pro athletes from other sports at those other sports. It’s an idea he reportedly stole from Steve Nash, whose only public comment on the matter thus far has been: “I don’t want nobody sound like nobody from my clan, man. Keep it real — getcha own shit, man. And be original.” (video via Hooped Up)

Housekeeping, Some Lakers, Muggsy

I am not using the end of the Finals as an excuse to disappear for the summer. We will be here forever. Forever and ever. And ever and ever.

But some things are afoot — top secret special new things have come to light things — and between that and a few long-form, still-simmering-on-the-stove things that I need the weekend to finish up, time restraints round this way have precluded me from helping provide the nation with what it desperately needs. (Luckily, Sports Guy was here for that. This was predictable, but, c’mon, Bill, we don’t need you wasting your time rebutting foolishness. I guess he won’t be buying this.)

Sorry bout that. But really, what’s left to say? Matt Moore of Hardwood Paroxysm pretty much summed it up. (Although Shaq did it even better.) If Odom are Ariza played well, the Lakers weren’t going to lose. And that’s what happened. Maybe the Magic can turn it around in Game 6? We’ll see.

So where does Kobe rank on the All-Time list now? Slam just “remixed” the Top 50 Players of All Time and has him at #12 (although they did it prior to the Finals).

And, yeah, it’s 6:00 on a Friday so I’m gonna go ahead and consider this collection of nothing an actual post. Meanwhile, look, a photo from @lowposts with the caption: “Well now you’re just bein’ an asshole, Michael.”

Yes, I know, digging all this up proves that I’m quite the investigative journalist. Bring on the Pulitzer.

UPDATE: Can’t believe I forgot these three photos of the Waltons. And just for fun, here’s Kobe vs. MJ in the 1998 All-Star Game.