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Scottie

Conan O’Brien at the 1995 All-Star Game

by Jared Wade on January 24, 2010 at 1:17 am

Did you hear about this Conan guy? Apparently he’s a big deal. In just like seven months he went from pretty funny guy who hosted a show that was on past my bedtime to guy who hosted a show for old people to guy who is such a sympathetic figure for being jobbed over by his bosses that he inspired a bunch of grown men to call another grown man “CoCo.”

C’est la vie.

The whole mess was such a sad display of “crap wins” and “actual funny isn’t actually funny to very many people” that it’s pretty depressing. But the outpouring of support for Conan does at least go to show that there ultimately are a lot of people who do actually enjoy stuff that doesn’t only cater to the mainstream. So that’s cool.

More importantly, here’s some video of Conan back when he was really underground-ish-er back in 1995. He visits the All-Star Weekend going on in Phoenix and chats it up with Dikembe, Shaq, thin Barkley, awkward Scottie Pippen, looks-exactly-the-same-in-2010 John Stockton and David Robinson, who explains that he got nicknamed the Admiral because — and he’s not sure why — people didn’t want to call him “seaman.”

Seriously. He says that. (video via NBA Offseason)

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The Miami Heat have created a great brand through 21 years of mostly successful on-court performance, a rotating cast of memorable players and — perhaps most of all — a logo, color scheme and overall style that have nearly made me forget just how dumb their name is. Fortunately, there are plenty of horrible tattoos out there walking around that help remind me to “Never Forget.”

Still, from Rony Seikaly and Glen Rice toiling away in obscurity to Timmy and Zo making waves in the East to Flash and Shaq bringing home the Larry O’Brien trophy, the franchise has enjoyed a nice linear arc of success. And the team’s entire style, along with its logo, has transformed from expansion fly to champion iconic. For a team that once retired Michael Jordan’s “23″ in its rafters, today, the only jersey you’re going to see on South Beach is a Dwyane Wade — or maybe a Rudy Gay.

Looking past any of that, juxtaposed against other NBA teams that use basketballs in their logos (looking squarely at you, Clipps and Nets), the Heat have laid out blueprint plans for how any expansion franchise in sports should create and manage its logo:

Step 1: Create a logo that relates to your name. (Disclaimer: If you’re name is “The Thunder,” change name before beginning logo process.)

Step 2: Make your logo simple, sticking to the script of what has worked historically while also — and this is where most teams go astray — adding a singular, unique element that sets you apart.

Step 3: Don’t use more than three colors — or four if completely necessary and you can give a legitimate, well-articulated reason for it.

Step 4: Don’t use ephemeral color combinations, lettering or design principles that will be dated in a decade. The last thing you want is to wind up like the Spurs, who abandoned their timeless silver-and-black logo in favor of colors representative of an interior design fad during the South West population boom, only to later realize that, yeah, don’t do that. Not so coincidentally, the Spurs have reverted back to their original look. See also: 76ers, Philadelphia; Pistons, Detroit. (And, yes, I realize that the Heat’s lettering might start to look dated within the next decade — although not necessarily. Regardless, they should be able to launch a preemptive, minor redesign that will avert looking like an early-90s relic if necessary.)

Step 5: If after a few years you determine that the logo is not perfect, tweak it a little provided you first determine that the logo is worth preserving. This is always the ideal way of changing things. Never change just for change’s sake. Worse still is changing for marketing sake or to create a new revenue stream. Fans have and want to maintain a connection to the past and even if it’s only five or six years, a change will be jarring and ultimately unfortunate. Still, be honest with yourselves. If the logo needs aborting, don’t hesitate — kick that bitch down the stairs.

Step 6: Once you have a good look, remember the best part of Jay-Z’s Blueprint and apply it to your franchise: Never Change.

What up to my Miami and St. Thomas connects.

miami heat logo

If Hov don’t sign LeBron, him and Flash gonna get paper longer than Pippen’s arms.

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Look What the NBA Ad Wizards Did

by Jared Wade on May 8, 2009 at 3:38 pm

These two NBA moments need no introduction. Just some stellar, stellar work here. Watch these. Impressive. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

Meanwhie, I really wanna see them do Reggie’s back-to-back threes in Madison Square Garden next. I think that might be the only one from a road game that would work. I mean, look at the crowd in this photo. And that’s not just the Pacer fan in me talking. Seriously, who doesn’t wanna see a bunch of d-bag New Yorkers who spent $1,500 on courtside seats just to have their hearts ripped out suddenly materialize out of thin air?

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It’s no secret that Scottie Pippen has had some money problems in recent years and this was widely assumed to be the reason that he attempted his short-lived comeback to the NBA last season.

Now he’s suing one of the companies that helped him lose his dough. It’s called Learn.com and apparently does something related to employee training.

Pippen, who became a Learn.com shareholder in 2001 while playing with the Portland Trail Blazers, accuses two company officials of financial shenanigans in a lawsuit filed this month in Broward Circuit Court.

Learn.com made a $160,000 loan to a company connected with its president and chief executive, Jim Riley, without disclosing the relationship, Pippen claims in the suit.

Shareholders also weren’t told about a $305,000 loan made to Chief Operating Officer JW Ray, the suit alleges.

In addition, Pippen alleges Riley’s company and Ray were allowed to buy Learn.com stock at prices far below ”adequate consideration.” Pippen filed the suit on behalf of the company and its shareholders.

All of this is fairly boring and I really don’t have much interest in Scottie’s economic woes other than to wish the guy all the best, but this story comes to me via the always well-breasted Sports By Brooks, which has some less-heartfelt advice for soon-to-be Hall of Famer.

I feel for Pippen – he’s clearly a shrewd businessman who has just run into a rough patch with his investments. A very, very, rough patch. But I’d like to offer him an investment opportunity that is guaranteed to make all his money back and then some. I can’t get into too many details, but I happen to the be the son of a former Nigerian Head of Finance who was killed in a plane crash last year. Scottie, please send me your e-mail if you want more information.

(Think he’ll buy that? If not, I’ve got something else that might get some of his money. One word: monorail.)

The only other thing worth noting is that former Kings coach Eric Musselman is banging a stone-cold fox and, in related news, this, which both come by way of SBB.

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