(Photo by Joe Murphy/NBAE via Getty Images)
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Rudy Gay
I enjoyed this piece from The Onion:
MEMPHIS, TN—Though Allen Iverson has taken an indefinite leave of absence and even threatened to retire because of his current bench role, the Grizzlies organization maintained its stance Wednesday that the 1-7 team has five better players than the four-time NBA scoring champion and 2001 league MVP. “We’re really confident about the decision to put Mike Conley, Zach Randolph, Rudy Gay, O.J. Mayo, and Marc Gasol on floor instead of Iverson,” general manager Chris Wallace said of his starters, who combined have appeared in 10 fewer NBA All-Star games than the former No. 1 draft pick.
Nice work, fake news.
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Everyone loves a great highlight. Dunks, dimes, blocks … They all good.
But as good as they are in a standalone highlight reel or YouTube clip, they are 1000x better live during a game. It’s one of the things that makes basketball, and particularly the NBA, so amazing to watch no matter whether it’s Game 4 of the Finals or a random Hawks/Mavs game in December. At any given moment, something completely out of the blue and unreal might happen.
For instance, I was watching the Heat play recently, as I’m wont to do given my unchartable affinity for Dwyane Wade, and I saw this amazing behind-the-back dribble to split a double team plus an acrobatic layup finish thrown in for good measure. (It’s number two on this Plays of the Week video. It’s at the 1:57 mark and definitely worth your time).
This one brief moment in time (not to mention Dwight’s insane block, which is number four on that countdown) was insane. It’s things like this that make me wonder how anyone can ever watch NCAA basketball aside from the awesomeness that is March Madness. I mean, I try to watch. I went to St. John’s University and try to at least watch a little Big East. And when I’m at work and find out that Duke/Carolina is on that night, I get all pumped up to watch it when I get home.
Then I actually get home and see that there is a Nuggets/Jazz game on, and I’m like “Duke/Carolina will play again later in the year, right?” Because as much as the Tobacco Road thing is cool from a historic rivalry and huge intensity standpoint, there will definitely be multiple things done by Carmelo and Deron in a random Denver/Utah game that make anything that happens in a UNC game look like the basketball equivalent of tee-ball.
But I digress. Getting back to the original point, half of what makes these three or four other-worldly moments per NBA game so amazing is the spontaneity and the holy-poop-that-came-out-of-nowhere factor. And not only are you the fan caught off guard, but so are the defenders, the fans in the arena, the announcers and — oftentimes — the player himself. (Ricky Davis’ borderline leapfrog of Steve Nash is probably the coolest, organic, “what did I just do?” reaction, whereas The Reignman Point, which is number one here, is probably the best “I just did that? You’re damn right I just did that” reaction.)
And it is those times when announcers are caught off guard that I want to praise specifically right now. It’s always been a hobby of mine to pick apart the mundane, over-obvious, old-man-non-humorous and outright incorrect things said by in-game announcers. They are, by and large, pretty poor, and even though I fully realize that it’s a job that is very hard to do well, I more fully realize that it’s really easy and fun to mock those who do it.
But on rare* instances, announcers say something great. And on even rarer instances, these amazing audio moments are unexpectedly forever ingrained in video form by a forthcoming highlight. I’m not talking about the “spec-TAC-u-lar move” or “OOOOOooooooh, MAN … Hell-o” reactions to great plays. I’m talking about the things that are just being said nonchalantly and then oh-so-rudely interrupted by a moment that stops time.
There aren’t a lot of good examples for me to throw out there off the top of my head. But there has been a handful of great ones of the past few years that I remember really enjoying. None, however, likely compares to this “audio posterization” of the unnamed, yet clearly-being-discussed Hasheem Thabeet.
As you’ll see in the video below, Rudy Gay utterly baptizes Al Thornton with a baseline jam. Good stuff, Rudy. Well done. But as he is doing it, you will also hear Clippers announcer Ralph Lawler discussing this year’s coveted number two overall draft pick and saying “…Dikembe Mutombo. But a lot of people think he’s more likely to be the next DeSagana Diop.”
OOOOOooooohhhhh, Man. Hell-o. That has to hurt. How’s your pride feel, Thabeet? (video via Hardwood Paroxysm)
And now we will now forever have this audio posterization courtesy of Rudy and Lawler that will can replay endlessly eight years from now when Hasheem is on his fourth team and playing 15 minutes per night.
And that will be funny.
In the meantime, let’s keep a look out for future — or past — audio posterizations that you come across. Everyone enjoys them, so if you find one, come back here and drop them in the comments. Or at least email me the link.
* Marv, Clyde Frazier and Jeff Van Gundy excluded
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The Miami Heat have created a great brand through 21 years of mostly successful on-court performance, a rotating cast of memorable players and — perhaps most of all — a logo, color scheme and overall style that have nearly made me forget just how dumb their name is. Fortunately, there are plenty of horrible tattoos out there walking around that help remind me to “Never Forget.”
Still, from Rony Seikaly and Glen Rice toiling away in obscurity to Timmy and Zo making waves in the East to Flash and Shaq bringing home the Larry O’Brien trophy, the franchise has enjoyed a nice linear arc of success. And the team’s entire style, along with its logo, has transformed from expansion fly to champion iconic. For a team that once retired Michael Jordan’s “23″ in its rafters, today, the only jersey you’re going to see on South Beach is a Dwyane Wade — or maybe a Rudy Gay.
Looking past any of that, juxtaposed against other NBA teams that use basketballs in their logos (looking squarely at you, Clipps and Nets), the Heat have laid out blueprint plans for how any expansion franchise in sports should create and manage its logo:
Step 1: Create a logo that relates to your name. (Disclaimer: If you’re name is “The Thunder,” change name before beginning logo process.)
Step 2: Make your logo simple, sticking to the script of what has worked historically while also — and this is where most teams go astray — adding a singular, unique element that sets you apart.
Step 3: Don’t use more than three colors — or four if completely necessary and you can give a legitimate, well-articulated reason for it.
Step 4: Don’t use ephemeral color combinations, lettering or design principles that will be dated in a decade. The last thing you want is to wind up like the Spurs, who abandoned their timeless silver-and-black logo in favor of colors representative of an interior design fad during the South West population boom, only to later realize that, yeah, don’t do that. Not so coincidentally, the Spurs have reverted back to their original look. See also: 76ers, Philadelphia; Pistons, Detroit. (And, yes, I realize that the Heat’s lettering might start to look dated within the next decade — although not necessarily. Regardless, they should be able to launch a preemptive, minor redesign that will avert looking like an early-90s relic if necessary.)
Step 5: If after a few years you determine that the logo is not perfect, tweak it a little provided you first determine that the logo is worth preserving. This is always the ideal way of changing things. Never change just for change’s sake. Worse still is changing for marketing sake or to create a new revenue stream. Fans have and want to maintain a connection to the past and even if it’s only five or six years, a change will be jarring and ultimately unfortunate. Still, be honest with yourselves. If the logo needs aborting, don’t hesitate — kick that bitch down the stairs.
Step 6: Once you have a good look, remember the best part of Jay-Z’s Blueprint and apply it to your franchise: Never Change.
What up to my Miami and St. Thomas connects.
If Hov don’t sign LeBron, him and Flash gonna get paper longer than Pippen’s arms.
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