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Pau Gasol

Mamba Drops a Gem on Em

by Jared Wade on February 3, 2009 at 1:44 pm · 0 comments

By now, you’ve no doubt already seen numerous recaps of Mamba’s historic night of striking with 99% accuracy in rapid succession at the Garden. All told, he finished with 61 points on 19-31 from the field and 20-20 from the line, eclipsing both Bernard King’s Christmas Day 60-point game in 1984 and MJ’s infamous “Double Nickel” in his #45-wearing comeback year to become to the highest single game scorer in Madison Square Garden history.

Since the 7 o’clock start time Magic/Mavs game was boring me out of my skull, I was actually fortunate enough to flip over to Knicks/Lakers at 7:30 for the tip and catch the game in its entirety. And from the outset, Kobe was, in a word, sublime. Given my League Pass-induced ADD, I honestly can’t remember the last time I stayed on one game through every commercial until the end. But last night, I never even considered flipping around — even after I saw online that CP3 had 12 dimes in the first half against Portland.

Between the absurd pivot/shot fake/jab step jumpshots Kobe was wetting all game, the effortless drives to the hoop and the relentless focus on his face for the whole 48 minutes, the only conclusion I can reach is that Mamba is clearly a Both Teamster and this was a vengeance game. (Sorry, dude. Start leaving some comments next time and maybe we’ll issue a retraction.)

All that combined with the immaculate outfit being worn by Clyde Frazier just made for a great night for the NBA. (Sidenote: I really hope you League Pass folks had the Knick feed. I am privileged enough to have the Knicks MSG network and Clyde was sensational and vocational all game long.)

So with nothing left to add aside from the video of every point Kobe scored last night (via Dime), I leave you with a rerun of my unabridged, in-game Twitter updates.

(For the uninitiated, Twitter is the new NBA live blog).

BothTeamsPlayed Wilson Chandler just pinned the shit out of Kobe’s weaksauce.

BothTeamsPlayed Switchblade just dunked on Baby Al’s grill.

BothTeamsPlayed The Machine is Machining it up on the dime-dropping tip.

BothTeamsPlayed The Rooster is all-day cash. I like this kid.

tuffyr @BothTeamsPlayed Are you commenting on an NBA game or finishing an old Mad Libs book?

BothTeamsPlayed @tuffyr Both.

BothTeamsPlayed The Kobe watch is officially on. 23 points in 14 minutes. It’s like 2006 all over again. Double nickel?

BothTeamsPlayed Thirty seconds later, Kobe has 27. Turn the channel, people.

TheJLV @BothTeamsPlayed he’s untouchable, sittin’ in the range, so comfortable (@asherroth)

BothTeamsPlayed Knicks bad play attributed to “hurrying and worrying,” says Clyde. He is the perfect human being.

wondroushippo @BothTeamsPlayed but he can’t defend against gray hair, that’s why he needs Just For Men!

BothTeamsPlayed @wondroushippo Your stache is trash.

BothTeamsPlayed D’Antoni didn’t exactly remind me of General Patton in that huddle.

BothTeamsPlayed Mamba has 34 in the first half.

TheNoLookPass @BothTeamsPlayed @jeskeets There’s no defense here. I’m going to go with 56.

jeskeets @TheNoLookPass @BothTeamsPlayed I’ll call 52.

BothTeamsPlayed @jeskeets Double nickel is a given unless it gets out of hand.

BothTeamsPlayed @TheNoLookPass @jeskeets Put me down for 58 in the pool.

BothTeamsPlayed “Kobe’s invincible and indefensible,” says Clyde.

BothTeamsPlayed People might start taking Pau more seriously if he closed his mouth more often. You look like Gummo, dude.

BothTeamsPlayed Lost in my Kobe-watching like it’s 2005 is the fact that CP3 just finished the first half with 12 dimes. I love this game.

BothTeamsPlayed Viper acting more like Jester over on the Knick sidelines. Wocka wocka wocka.

BothTeamsPlayed Not sure Mamba knows the goaltending rules. That was just a horrible decision.

BothTeamsPlayed In Mamba you trust

BothTeamsPlayed Thanks for the post-game interview with Lamar Odom, Tina Cervasio. Meanwhile, your mouth is cavernous.

BothTeamsPlayed Twas all WIlson Chandler’s fault for that vicious block he had on Kobe’s weak layup in the 1st. Done pissed off Mamba something serious.

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Spurs v. Lakers

by Jared Wade on January 15, 2009 at 10:21 am · 4 comments

As previously stated, this was just a helluva game.

Manu came with it in the first half, dropping 19 points on the strength of some hot shooting — something that was contagious throughout the first two quarters as the normally slow-paced Western Conference elites ran up the jumbotron to the tune of a 66-61 Spurs lead at the break.

The offensive onslaught continued in the 3rd quarter but predictably slowed in the 4th, which is really what made this game so phenomenal. Kobe was absolutely transcendent in the final six minutes. He was running the pick-and-roll like John Stockton even with his Karl Malone stand-in being Josh Powell. More so, Mamba was generally just finding open guys no matter where or who they were and making the right pass within the flow of the offense, whether it was a simple swing pass on the perimeter or a dump-down to Pau.

By the end, Kobe had either scored or gotten the assist on 18 of the Lakers final 20 points. Or for those into brevity, unreal.

Just as Mamba started doing his thing, the Spurs became uncharacteristically sloppy and opened the door for LA. Tony Parker made one of the most staggeringly bad turnovers I’ve seen in some time with a panicked jump-pass to an area of the court without a Spur within 15 feet. Groundhog Day fumbled away two balls in the post. Matt Bonner was for some reason penetrating and whistled for a charge. And the whole team collectively shat the poise with a 24-second violation. It was essentially the mathematical inverse of what Kobe was doing on the other end.

Given that Mamba had started his brilliance around the six-minute mark with an “are you serious?” fall-away three from the baseline and had done everything and anything he wanted offensively thereafter, it seemed that a Laker comeback victory was all but inevitable.

The Lakers even took a three-point lead after a Kobe jumper. But then Tim Duncan remembered he was Tim Duncan and put the Spurs back up by one by scoring on back-to-back possessions — the second of which where he lost the ball, regathered and threw an incredible jump hook over his head in a play that only one guy on this planet could make.

Of course, Kobe didn’t really give a fuck.

He simply walked down to the other end and stuck a three right in Roger Mason Jr.’s eyeball. As beautiful as that was, his follow up was even sweeter — he did the giant testicle dance all the way down the sideline, something Jeff Van Gundy called the “Sam Cassell jog back.”

(Watch below unless you hate America.)

Of course — or so it’s starting to seem — Roger Mason, Jr. didn’t really give a fuck.

He had actually been defending Kobe pretty well throughout the fourth quarter on the other end but had just gotten caught up in the whole force-of-nature thing. And even though RMJ hadn’t scored a bucket in nearly 20 minutes, he grabbed the sideline inbounds pass, stepped back into a gambling Derek Fisher and drew the signature Reggie Miller foul as he elevated for the jumper.

And, oh yeah, he also drilled the 20-footer to tie the game. Then the Notorious RMJ coolly walked to the line and gave the Spurs a one-point lead with 10 seconds to play.

(Watch below unless you hate basketball.)

The Lakers had an opportunity to win but a dubious Trevor Ariza travel negated that, although it probably didn’t matter anyway since the shot was off the mark and the Spurs looked to be in control of the board.

All in all, it was a great game throughout and the most Playoffesque final six minutes I think I’ve seen this season. So despite the ongoing brilliance of Chris Paul (who dropped a damn-near quadruple double last night), Spurs/Lakers is obviously going to be every pundits favorite Western Conference Finals prediction beginning today.

Possibly more importantly, however, we have two other interesting developments with the one-and-only Kobe Bryant. Not only is he planning to start charging $50 for “premium access” to his KB24.com website (something I don’t think is quite as ridiculous as FanHouse does, but whatever) but he is also now selling ankle insurance in what is easily the best commercial he’s ever been in. (via NESW Sports)

(Watch below unless you hate seeing Mamba on a horse and, thus, hate America.)

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Way to Represent the Big Fellas

by Jared Wade on January 7, 2009 at 7:18 pm · 0 comments

Some of you don’t have NBA TV. And for that, I’m truly sorry.

Because Tuesday Fan Night has now become the best series on television, as Gary Payton and Chris Webber (and even to my complete shock and awe, Ahmad Rashad at times) have crafted the most entertaining show these eyes have seen for some time (since Always Sunny in Philadelphia concluded its latest season probably for those of you not into unspecified generalizations).

Last night, I flipped over there just mainly to confirm the Hornets/Lakers tip-off time, but five minutes later it had become evident that none of the horrible games that were on could possibly be better than The Glove and CWebb show. Mostly, GP spends his time yelling out relative non sequiturs in a high-pitched voice and repeating them incessantly for the next five seconds and Webber enjoys pointing and mocking Ahmad while spending exactly none of his time looking near the camera.

That probably sounds horrible. But it’s actually the exact opposite.

Let’s go to the tape.

Borrowing a strategy from Payton’s player of the week selection, the best segment last night was a 1A and 1B tie between the Joe Johnson “in the grocery store people don’t know who I am” bit and the Top 10 Plays of the Week viewing, during which they unleash the fantastic “Hueh HUEH hueh” (that’s my spelling of their horrible French stereotype impersonation of Tony Parker) about a half dozen times and a reaction to the amazing Pau Gasol-led fastbreak that can only be described as soul-pleasing.

In addition to the high comedy, both guys clearly know what they’re talking about when it comes to hoops so they do also provide a poor man’s version of the astute, unique analysis that you get from Kenny and Chuck on Inside the NBA as well. This isn’t the best representation of that, but here is their interview with CP3 last night where even GP gets into serious mode and you can see Webber ask one of his signature, conversationally insightful questions (though he does even like to repeat himself on those quite a bit). Another example is GP’s throwaway line last night about how he thinks Andre Miller is the best PG in the East — something to which I was like “Really??” at first, then was like “Yeah, probably could be if you don’t fall for the young’n hype of Devin, Rondo, etc.”

(Although entirely unrelated to this Tuesday Fan Night discussion, Kevin Pelton of Basketball Prospectus had a notably fantastic breakdown of his “Best Point Guards of the East” yesterday, in which he lists Rondo, Devin and Jameer. Better still is that this is only his “Part I” so we’re likely to get even more in-depth stat stuff from him on these guys shortly. I’ll keep ya posted.)

In short, you need to be watching these guys. And if you don’t have NBA TV, just remember to check the Tuesday Fan Night videos on NBA.com every Wednesday morning. (And if you still haven’t already had enough of yesterday’s links for some reason, here’s their discussion on LeBron’s crab dribble, an interview with Ewing Senior and Junior and GP picking “his team” the Hornets to win last night)

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Free Basketball

by Jared Wade on May 11, 2008 at 5:31 pm · 1 comment

What a comeback by the Lakers in the last three minutes of regulation.

Big, big things out of Lamar Odom late. And all game, frankly.

It’s also kind of funny that all those people chastising LeBron for missing clutch lay-ups who used the “Kobe Bryant doesn’t miss that shot” argument should probably just stop talking for a while…maybe sit the next couple plays out.

Notable OT happenings:

  • Kyle Elliot Korver picking up an offensive foul for throwing elbows 40 feet from the basket.
  • An injured Kobe being yelled at to “Run the offense” by the Zen Master.
  • Okur sticking a patented Okur dagger.
  • Gasol with a sick post move to the other side of the hoop only to blow the dunk.
  • Boozer mishandling a pass and turning it over with 3:00 minutes left as Utah is trying to go up four.
  • Okur sticking a patented Okur dagger again (and again with his oafish toes on the line).
  • Ivan Drago smacking a Kobe lay-up attempt into the 5th row.
  • Gasol responding by blocking a weak Boozer post move attempt into the stands.
  • Kobe breaking AK-47 down off the bounce to (surprisingly) score LA’s first FG of the OT with 1:20 left.
  • Korver missing a fadaway three (that Kaleb thought was going in) but Okur grabbing the offensive board.
  • Deron resetting after said offensive board and neglecting to pass to a struggling Boozer in a pick-and-roll, and instead finding a cutting Kirlenko who reverses the lay-up and dunks on Lamar’s head — plus the foul.
  • Kobe finding a lane off the dribble, but again missing a lay-up. Shockingly, he thought he was fouled.
  • Kyle drilling two free throws to ice it.
  • Or wait…Kobe getting fouled shooting a three with 24.5 seconds left. Swish. Swish. Rattles in the third. LA now only down four.
  • Deron going two-for-two from the line. Up six. Lamar dunking. K.E.K swishing two more free throws.
  • Yeah. It’s over.

Great game. Series tied 2-2.

Now, let’s take it back to Los Angeles.

And more importantly…Your overtime heroes, ladies and gentlemen:

AK doggy

Memo sweater

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