I don’t have much to say about the Kings logo. It’s not as bad as some of the prior ones, but it certainly isn’t good. And not only is it worse than the franchise’s old one, but it’s just got too much going on. Lances, a crown, a basketball, a triumph banner and two overly stylized yet mismatched fonts? Probably a bit much. In other news, knights joust, kings do not.
And…that’s all I got.
So rather than forcing it, I’m just going to Kool Aid Man the fourth wall and let you all in on the behind-the-scenes “discussion” that kicked off this whole project like two weeks ago. Since Zach Harper writes Cowbell Kingdom, I asked him for his views on Sacto’s logo. And since I’m rather lazy, I also asked him if he would write a couple of these NBA Logo Ranking Project posts for me so that I could have some extra free time to sit back relax, catch a contact, sip my cognac and wash this money through this laundromat.
This is the Gmail chat that transpired.
Zach Harper to me show details Aug 14 (13 days ago)
1:29 PM me: how you feel about the Kings logo?
Zach: I hate the color purple
1:30 PM especially in sports
me: Oprah will be upset to hear that
Zach: Oprah will be upset to hear a lot of my opinions
i think the kings should go back to the red, white and blue days of the early 90s
not the powder blue
1:31 PM but the regular blue
so until they do that, the kings logo is dead to me
me: I see
1:32 PM well…with a lack of any other ideas and nothing happening in the NBA currently, I was about to do 30 posts ranking all the logos
1:33 PM just like 200-300 words of blathering on and bad jokes — ya know, the regular BTPH stuff
you got 10 minutes to bang one out?
1:45 PM Zach: ya definitely
this is what the Kings should go back to
why did this go away?
1:46 PM me: not sure…I actually might sorta not hate the Kings new one too though…comparatively
I think I preliminarilly have it like 15th…that’s how bad most of these are
1:47 PM Zach: the one with the SK?
me: nah..this one
1:48 PM Zach: i’m not so sure about the jousting sticks
i would have liked some serfs asking for pittance at the bottom of the logo or something it’s actually pretty fun to pick these apart
me: yeah…I’m actually having a good time with it
you can write a few if you really have nothing better to do
god knows I don’t have 30 jokes in me
1:58 PM Zach: ya, i’ll do as many of these as you want
the nets one has nothing to do with an actual net
is has more to do with Saturn than a basketball net
1:59 PM me: wow…that’s amazing
didn’t even notice the stupidity in that
2:00 PM Zach: this may not be a reference you’re familiar with but the Wolves logo is reminding me of the smile of the mom of one of the Girls Next Door
she basically has no lips and is all teeth
it’s pretty dead on
2:01 PM me: is that the movie about the hot high school porno chick in suburbia? With Seth from Deadwood?
Elisa Dusk or Dunk something
Zach: no, the Hugh Heffner show
me: Douche Shoe maybe?
oh…
yeah…not particularly familiar with that one
Zach: Douche Shoe? hahahaha
2:02 PM me: no wait…it’s Elisha Cuthbert
isn’t there an Elisha Douche Shoe out there?
2:42 PM Zach: Doesn’t this look like Mike D’Antoni went into the witness protection program?
this one is so george michael bluth
3:13 PM me: hahaha…can’t wait until they play the Minnesota Moles
3:15 PM Zach: i guess i don’t know what a stag is because this looks like the chicago bucks to me
me: playing volleyball?
3:16 PM Zach: absolutely
greatest volleyball team of their time
3:17 PM me: These guys went the extra mile
3:23 PM me: amazing. I like Foghorn Leghorn
and you gotta love the racism here
3:25 PM makes Chief Wahoo look like a historical photograph
3:26 PM Zach: I really miss the racism in logos
it’s a lost art
Alice Walker just unsubscribed from the TalkHoops RSS feed.
Known Associates:
Alice Walker,
Arrested Development,
AZ,
Deadwood,
Hugh Hefner,
Kings,
Mike D'Antoni,
Nets,
Oprah,
Pistons,
The Color Purple,
The Girl Next Door,
The Girls Next Door,
The NBA Logo Ranking Project,
Wolves
