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Matt Barnes

It’s unlikely that any dunk by a bearded man will top Baron Davis’ “put that in your flattop” destruction of Andrei Kirilenko. The frenzy that it created and the reactions of Adonal Foyle, Matt Barnes, Stephen Jackson and Mickael Pietrus combine to make this arguably the best in-game dunk the NBA has ever seen. Throw in the dude with a goatee that we see at the 30-second mark and it’s probably a no-brainer.

James Harden may have taken Baron’s title as King of the NBA Beard, but he will never top that.

On Sunday, he did try, however. And while he came up short, James Harden basically stole the soul of JJ Hickson — even nailing the post-dunk reaction as you can see below.

For this, Mr. Harden is honored with a Great Moment in Facial Hair History.

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying

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lucky charms

Making predictions, breaking down the future and saying things like “this team is done” or “this team is unbeatable” have made a lot of very talented people a lot of money and has given a lot of less talented people a very fun pastime. And in a seven-and-a-half month season, culminating in a two-week NBA Finals, it’s only natural that we look ahead, throwing out bombastic statements, defending them to the death despite their conformation being months away.

But sometimes, we need to remember that the beauty of the game is the game itself, not the conversations around it. And no matter how logical that next step seems, when the basketball is actually played, we always run the risk of getting our socks knocked off.

So allow me to officially apologize to the Boston Celtics for counting them out.

I had plenty of good reasons. The shaky bench. The old age. The effort that just wasn’t their any more. The presence of two (seemingly) far superior teams within their conference

None of it mattered.

None of it mattered because the one, biggest, baddest reason as to why the Boston Celtics were finished turned out to be untrue. For 15 months, it had seemed that Kevin Garnett would never be capable of playing at the level Boston needs to make substantial Playoff noise. And yet, against many people’s (including yours truly’s) favorite for the NBA title, Garnett finally reminded us why he deserved this place in this list , why he is an all-time great even though he was plagued by various Troy Hudsons in his starting line up, and why, when discussing a player of his caliber, you can never count him out until he finally hangs them up.

Overreaction? Tell that to Antawn Jamison. You can probably find him weeping in the corner.

Garnett looked like the KG of old, torching whoever guarded him (though, to be fair, Mike Brown could have been putting random people from the crowd on him and it wouldn’t have been as bad as guarding him with Shaq), consistently banging home that mid-range shot and showing that he is still more than good enough to orchestrate a dominant defense. Throughout the series, Garnett averaged 19 and 8 on 52% shooting – pretty similar to his regular season numbers in 2008 (18 and 9 on 54%). That is nothing near his all-world numbers from earlier in the decade, but it’s just what Boston needed — at just the right time. And that’s before factoring in his effect on defense.

As for the rest of those problems?

Tony Allen played the James Posey offensive spark/defensive stopper role, and combined with Glen Davis’ hustle and Rasheed Wallace coming back to life, the bench wasn’t a concern. Ray Allen continues to ignore the hints he gets from his odometer, Paul Pierce shook off a bad offensive start to the series and came up big in games 5 and 6, while acting as the primary defender on a certain someone whom I shall not name (he’s been named enough already, and if I eventually address his performance this series, it will be a long, thought out process, not half-heartedly thrown-out statements that take the limelight away from the teams who have earned it). And the effort? Apparently, they were just saving that for the postseason. As much as I don’t believe in flipping the switch, Boston proved that they have the championship pedigree needed to do so.

And above all, the masterful Rajon Rondo keeps on blossoming before our eyes, extending the “best PG in the world?!” discussion to, at the very least, a four-man race.

I apologize for focusing so much on the series preceding the one I should be talking about – and, yes, I’ll get to Orlando/Boston in a minute – but this can’t be reiterated enough. Because while the result of Boston’s six-game win over Cleveland was largely attributed to the fallacies of the losing squad (specifically those of a certain someone whom I still shall not name) this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Boston won this. Fair and square. And if their form from the first half of Game 1, Game 2 and Game 4 through Game 6 carries on to this series, they have a heck of a chance to make it back to the NBA Finals.

Of course, to do so, they must stop the team that has been playing the best basketball in the league for quite a while.

For months now, several voices have been ignoring the Magic, giving reasons such as “they’re not as good without Hedo” or “they rely too much on Vince Carter,” while people who actually watched the games half-groaned, half-cried: “Hedo wasn’t that good! They don’t need that much from Vince! STOP IGNORING JAMEER NELSON!!!”

Amazingly, their voices remain unheard in certain circles for reasons I cannot explain. While the Magic’s 8-0 run in the postseason so far is somewhat tarnished by the teams they met – both of which seemed quite content with playing the doormat – it still takes a very good team to capitalize on those “just-happy-to-be-here” feelings. Even though the Hawks’ second-round performance was as apathetic as they come, this was the East’s third-best team. And yet, they were obliterated completely, each and every strength nullified, each and every weakness exposed.

No, don’t let the “we just beat the number one overall seed” hype fool you: these Magic are favorites. And while this series is a whole lot closer than it seemed a few weeks ago, we must still remember that even though Boston’s defense seems to be returning to near-2008 levels, Orlando has been playing a similarly elite defense for two straight years, now — along with far superior offense. In fact, throughout this postseason, the Magic have been number one in both offensive efficiency (a ridiculous 116 points per 100 possessions, which is a full 2.8 points more than the Suns) and defensive efficiency (94.6, which is 2.7 points less than the Celtics).

Then again, these Celtics don’t really give a damn about favorites. That should give us a great match-up in and of itself — a match-up enhanced by the fact that, to my eyes, each team’s weakness is pretty ably countered by the other team’s strengths.

Boston struggles against young, athletic teams? Well, the Magic have their share of oldies, but they don’t get much more athletic than Dwight Howard. With Jameer and Jason Williams running the show, Matt Barnes, Mickael Pietrus and the still-athletic-when-he-wants-to Vince running the wings, and an abundance of three-point shooters trailing, this team should be able to run as much as it wants. Heck, we might even see some Brandon Bass.

The Magic’s weakest positions defensively are point guard and power forward? Well, those two positions are manned by Boston’s two best players, if the Cleveland series is any indication.

Boston has a bench full of question marks? The Magic go a legit 11 deep.

Dwight Howard’s offensive game still tends to be inconsistent (though it’s much, much better than the rep it gets)? Kendrick Perkins is the best Dwight-stopper in the league.

It goes on and on.

And there are so many x-factors. There literally isn’t a single player in the starting lineups that won’t have a crucial role in this series.

For the Celtics: Rondo will have to get to the paint, draw fouls on Dwight, create shots for his teammates, and basically carry Boston’s sometimes struggling offense through those sometimes struggly stretches, while trying to stop the scorching Nelson; Allen and Pierce will be counted on to make shots, whether by creating for themselves and trying – sorry if I sound like a broken record here – to draw fouls on Dwight (mostly Pierce) or by making spot-up outside shots (Ray); KG will need to exploit Rashard Lewis like he exploited Jamison; and Perkins? Well, Perkins is up against Dwight. Good luck with that.

For Orlando: Jameer will have to keep up his ridiculous play, breaking down the Boston defense and generally being unstopable; Vince will have to make sure Pierce doesn’t find a rhythm while fitting in to the offense, scoring when he is needed and deferring when he isn’t; Barnes will need to run through screens after Ray Allen; Lewis will have to make weakside threes and maybe even, god forbid, drive to the hoop against Garnett should he be able to force him out; and Dwight will have to stay out of foul trouble to anchor the defense, while still posing a strong enough offensive threat to shrink in the Boston defense, and maybe even getting Perkins and Garnett into some foul trouble of their own.

And those are just the starters. The series could eventually be decided by the benches or by the coaches or by the refs (hate to bring them up, but this has become an increasingly important factor with Dwight). Anything can happen. Everybody is important.

Which is why I think the Magic win.

When considering everything and anything, they just have more. They are deeper. They are younger. They are healthier. They are just as good, if not better, on defense. They are way better on offense. They have the better coach. They have home-court advantage.

The Celtics made everybody – including me – look like idiots after handing it to the Cavs. They sure could do it again. The difference is that this time, they aren’t facing a team on the brink of a mental meltdown. They are facing the defending Eastern Conference champion. They are facing a team that is playing better basketball — better than last season’s Magic and better than this season’s Celtics.

Magic in 7

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Doc Funk Friday

by Jared Wade on April 23, 2010 at 3:50 pm · 2 comments

There have been a lot of great developments so far during NBA Playoffs: Week 1.

Deron Williams proved to be even more amazing than we thought. The Spurs stole home court from the Mavs. Josh Smith has devoured four souls. Dwyane Wade learned new and more vengeful ways to hate his teammates. Joakim Noah went to war with the city of Cleveland. Gerald Wallace suffered 14 undiagnosed concussions. And J-Rich had the best game of his career.

Still, the best development of this postseason thus far has not happened on the court or even within Joakim’s scrunchy — it has happened in Photoshop.

Doc Funk has been dropping masterfully captioned photos after each game, and every batch is better than the last. LOLz for dayz. So to help spread awareness and revisit some of the awesome, I’m planning to do a little “best of” recap each Friday until the trophy is handed out by posting my fav five (don’t call it that) of the week.

Be sure to check out Doc Funk’s Brain on Funk for many, many more everyday.

And please let me know in the comments if I missed your favorite.

Here goes:

matt barnes block bobcats orlando magic

Matt Barnes and some ref from Magic/Bobcats Game 2

kevin durant phil jackson

Kevin Durant and Phil Jackson from Lakers/Thunder Game 1

lebron locker room media

LeBron from Cavs/Bulls Game 2

vinny del negro

Vinny of the Black from Cavs/Bulls Game 3

kevin durant russell westbrook thunder

KD and Russell Westbrook from Lakers/Thunder Game 3

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Magic Origins: Skip to My Lou

by Jared Wade on June 11, 2009 at 2:35 pm · 0 comments

To quote an a literary expression first coined in Geoffery Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, Rafer did the damn thing in Game 3.

Sure he made some boneheaded decisions, forced a few things and seemed to follow up ever great play with an equally quixotic one, but as you can see here in this “All-Access Game 3″ video, the Magic probably don’t win unless Rafer is able to keep the Lakers interior defense honest by continually driving the ball to the rim.

(Sidenote: Van Gundy’s post-game press conference comments about how he was able to help shake Rafer out of his Game 1 and Game 2 funks were super. “I’m a motivational genius, that’s what I am,” said SVG. “I thought for two days about what to say to him and I said ‘Play your game.’”)

I’ve always been a big Skip to My Lou fan so it was nice to see him earn at least some form of redemption after his early series troubles. But what’s even nicer is to see archival footage of him rocking the And 1 Mixtape back before it turned into a really lame show on ESPN. For the uninitiated, these videos were the hottest thing in the underground basketball world back when they were little more than VHS highlight tapes of streetball. And Rafer was the undisputed star — to the point that Skip is pretty much solely to blame for the horrible “And 1 Guy” tattoos on the arms of his teammate Rashard Lewis, Phoenix Sun Matt Barnes, Chicago Bull Brad Miller and thousands of other misguided, impressionable ballers who came of age in the 1990s. I’m sure those seemed like a good idea at the time, fellas, but now you may as well have the adidas logo on your bicep. Hell, Rafer was so hot back then that he even parlayed his And 1 buzz into a Slam cover story despite the fact that he was an otherwise unheralded point guard playing college ball in the WAC.

Thus, here’s video of Rafer breaking ankles and earning his nickname. Bonus: It’s set to the best YouTube highlight video song sung by a kid-peer. (via NBA Playoffs 2009 Tumblr, which has easily captured the Postseason MVP of the NBA blogosphere. I mean, you can’t look at this and tell me that amazing is happening more often anywhere else.)

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This video has poor resolution and will probably be taken down by the proprietary NBA video overlords shortly, but the little scuffle between the Suns and Rockets last night was pretty sweet. (Here’s a second link for when the video below inevitably goes dead. Hat tip to MVNSoccer and Herika.)

Matt Barnes kicks things off with a nice forearm shiver on Rafer when he tries to set a pick — something to which Skip to My Lou takes exception. Then, as those two get in each others’ grills and a crowd begins to form, in flies little Stevie Nash, who is immediately cast aside by a healthy, two-armed TMac shove. Rafer grabs onto a fallen Nash, but just as that’s happening, Shaq says “Alright, you little fuckers,” and discards both Tracy and Yao to the canvass before pushing about six dudes across the entire court in a single, easy motion. Old boy is no joke.

There was no real damage aside from a sizable gash on Nash’s already pocked-up neck, ejections for Rafer and Barnes, and a couple of techs.

Essentially, good times all around.

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