There’s not a lot I can — or need to — add to this image. It’s Marcin Gortat, aka The Polish Hammer, posing with … let me finish … a hammer. I wasn’t aware that he doesn’t really dig the nickname, but according to @whatthenoelle from whose (whom’s?) website this image comes, Marcin seems to not be a huge fan.
As @whatthenoelle puts it:
1) How can you deny the Polish Hammer nickname and then pose for this?
2) Is that The Fonz tattooed over his heart?
3) Does any NBA player reward you for Google Image searching quite like Marcin Gortat?
We all know that Dwight Howard is a walking comedy act. He’s usually slightly too wholesome and includes a little too much singing and/or dancing in his antics to really make me LOL (laugh out loud), but he’s one of the four or five most personable dudes in the League.
And here he is doing a fantastic impression of Charles Barkley.
Maybe SNL should have called up Supes to host instead of airing that turrrible, turrrible episode they had with the Chuckster a few weeks ago. It wasn’t so much Charles being bad as just poorly written skits, but still. How they didn’t have a skit where Kenan Thompson played Barkley (which he does rather well) while Charles played … I dunno … anyone else — Mahatma Gandhi, maybe? — I will never figure out. I was watching that almost-mediocre “Reel Quotes” one near the beginning and thinking “not too, too bad … guess they’re getting the bad ones out of the way early” unbeknownst that that would be the best thing in the entire show.
At least they did a good job stimulating the wigmaker sector of the economy though. Charles must have donned 12 different unkempt hairdos. Gotta give em propers for that. (video via The Baseline via Ball Don’t Lie)
Add one part basketball, one part glitter, one part male ejaculate and you’ve got the Orlando Magic logo. It looks like sperm. Seriously.
While we are at it, is there anything “magical” about it? I understand that the logo is supposed to be related to the Magic Kingdom at Disney World in Florida but, I repeat, where is the “magic” or any obvious link to Disney World? Are we to assume that the magic is in the stars trailing the basketball? Since when do stars equal magic? If you look at Orlando’s original logo, the organization kept the stars. And when they “changed” it, where was the change? It stayed basically the same except that the word Orlando is now atop the word Magic.
If you look at the Wizards’ logo, it is much more magical. Hey Orlando front office, try mixing in a wand, a top hat or even a deck of cards — anything would be more fitting than stars. Come on.
Let’s make it more appropriate.
I am going to throw out an idea for a redesign of Orlando’s logo and a name change. I suggest the Magic organization pay homage to the greatest magicians of all time. Doug Henning, David Copperfield and Penn and Teller could all be considered. But one magician stands head and shoulders above the rest: George Oscar Bluth aka GOB.
Who else can make yachts “disappear,” work with bow-tied seals, moonwalk while biting down on a knife and fill you with wonder as to where lighter fluid comes from? To him, a magic trick is no laughing matter — nor should it even be considered a trick at all, as he once informed his brother. “Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money … or candy.”
With that being said, I present to you the new look Orlando logo and name. Finally a logo capturing the essence of magic and guaranteed to strike fear in opponents.
Ladies and gentlemen, your Orlando Illusions.
Jeff Garcia is a New York-based lawyer/blogger/podcaster who writes for Project Spurs and c0-hosts the Spurscast podcast along with Michael De Leon, who created the below graphic. In his spare time, Jeff enjoys quoting a puppet named Franklin and praying that Manu Ginobli’s ankle holds up for another 100-game season.
Stars representing magic? There’s not a lot of logic to it. It’s kind of like on a boat with “Women and children first.”
I’m not really up with the tattooing trends of today, but it’s beginning to seem that “giving yourself a tagline across your shoulder blades where your name would go on a jersey” is the new “giving yourself a tagline across your stomach like Pac and Nas.”
Logistically, it makes sense. There’s more space, so you have a few more characters to work with.
Michael Beasley is the lastest addition to the club and his is particularly interesting in that he paid homage to the Nas’ “God’s Son” belly tat but relocated the words to a trapezius canvas. (via Red’s Army)
Much like Tupac’s “Thug Life” piece (and, later, Nas’ “God Son”) popularized the stomach tat trend, 50’s “South Side” (of Jamaica, Queens) piece probably helped spur this new phenomenon.
LeBron probably has the most famous one (via Slam). Unrelatedly, I saw the theatrical trailer for More Than a Game, the upcoming documentary about his Akron, Ohio, high school basketball team, last night prior to The Hurt Locker (which was excellent). It looks really, really good.
Meanwhile, Bron’s “arch-rival” Deshawn Stevenson got one of his own. (via DC Sports Bog)
This isn’t a real tattoo, but Sideshow Varejao poked some fun at his teammate one day during practice. (via Shaver Sports)
Jameer Nelson has embraced his inner Tupac.
Brendon Jennings is similarly repping a Lil Wayne slogan.
Vince Young isn’t in the NBA, but he does have his name on his back.
Some Chinese Olympic badminton player named Cai Yun is the “Face of Adversity.”
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