So I completely forgot about doing this whole Doc Funk Friday thing for like three straight weeks. My bad, comedy. Won’t let it happen again. In case you forgot, these are my favorite five Doc Funk captions from the past week. You can see many, many, many more masterworks over at Brain On Funk.
I am not using the end of the Finals as an excuse to disappear for the summer. We will be here forever. Forever and ever. And ever and ever.
But some things are afoot — top secret special new things have come to light things — and between that and a few long-form, still-simmering-on-the-stove things that I need the weekend to finish up, time restraints round this way have precluded me from helping provide the nation with what it desperately needs. (Luckily, Sports Guy was here for that. This was predictable, but, c’mon, Bill, we don’t need you wasting your time rebutting foolishness. I guess he won’t be buying this.)
And, yeah, it’s 6:00 on a Friday so I’m gonna go ahead and consider this collection of nothing an actual post. Meanwhile, look, a photo from @lowposts with the caption: “Well now you’re just bein’ an asshole, Michael.”
Yes, I know, digging all this up proves that I’m quite the investigative journalist. Bring on the Pulitzer.
What’s up with crazy chicks stalking Laker players? Earlier this year it was Luke. And now it’s Derek Fisher, who recently had to get a restraining order against a lady who has legally changed her last name to Fisher and allegedly gone to great lengths to convince a man she’s never actually met that God wants them to be together. (via Hooped Up)
According to court papers, Fisher claims:
“Her repeated attempts to contact me, her delusional notions that we are married, her angry and hostile tirades against me, her appearance at my place of work and her recent travels near and around my place of residence are all extremely frightening to me,” Derek Fisher wrote.
No word yet on whether the Jazz fans have started a petition to make this woman the new team mascot. But stay tuned; I’m sure it’s forthcoming.
Meanwhile, let’s just hope Dwyane doesn’t think of this whole restraining order thing. I am so your cousin, dammit, and you will give me some money just like the ghost of our Grandma promised the Ninja Turtles you would.
Nana would never lie to the world's most fearsome fighting team.
First off, we see hilarity ensuing after Lakers Kobe, Lamar, Andrew and Luke gather for Team Night a la Casa de Pau. Hilarity ensues. And sSecondtively, the notorious JVG and SVG play some board games and shotgun some beverages.
And if you still want more, you can also find several videos in their “Drunk Dialing With Charles Barkley” series over at website. The one with Diesel is rather good the one with David Stern isn’t half bad either. And in nonbasketball-related news, the ones with “high school football player turned All-American turned gynecologist” Dr. Gerard Leavenworth are goddamn stellar.
“It’s bananas. I’ll be going to sleep at night and just randomly look out the window. Just to check. Just because. She has been out there at 12:30, 1:30 in the morning. She would park outside my house for hours and hours. I would drive out, and I would see her peeking through. It would suck, because I know I’m leaving my home, and I know she’s still there. What am I supposed to do? Is she planning on breaking in? Am I going to come home one day and she’s sleeping in my bed? Is she going to steal my dog.”
Luke’s take part deux:
“She told me that we belong together. And then she started flipping out about all sorts of stuff. She said she wanted to move to San Diego, but people wouldn’t let her. I was like, ‘What people?’ She’s like, ‘The people! The people in the universe! They won’t let me move, because they say you and I are supposed to be together.’ I was like, ‘Oh, wow. She’s crazy.’”
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