Aikman’s rationale was made based on three factors about Rodgers: (1) a proven ability to compete and thrive on the professional level, (2) space for improvement with a limitless ceiling, (3) and age.

It was met with a mixed reaction of sacrilege and revelation.

For nearly a decade, Tom Brady and Peyton Manning were the most widely accepted number-one picks in such a theoretical draft. To most NFL followers, a conservative sport that overwhelmingly values tradition, including anybody else in the discussion was blasphemy.

Yet what Aikman said made sense.

He noticed a young, bright star about to catapult himself into another stratosphere and ventured ever so slightly against the grain to make a logical answer. His hypothetical choice was a bold one.

After the 2011 NBA Finals, and the unprecedented collapse of a player who was recently accepted by everyone in the universe to be the sport’s greatest player, how would Aikman’s proclamation translate to the NBA?

Let’s say a new CBA is agreed upon and calls for a complete overhaul. On September 1, each player is thrown into a league-wide draft with the order conducted at random. In this fictional future, Curt Flood never existed and free agency has yet to form. You pick a player and he is yours until death or retirement — whichever comes first.

In what order would the players go?

Is LeBron James still the first pick? Are Kobe and Amar’e selected in the first round? Does John Wall come off the board before Dirk Nowitzki? Would Chris Wallace drop down on his knees and take Zach Randolph without blinking?

In the aftermath of LeBron’s mental defrost, this vague, otherwise pointless question has become rather interesting. Being 26-years-old and undoubtedly the most athletic, talented and complete player in the game — and still improving — LeBron was the obvious answer. To many he still is. But if the ultimate objective each June is to become that lucky one team out of 30 to win the hardware, handpicking a player who will lead you through a sunny meadow with unparalleled dominance only to cower when the grass thickens turns this once-easy selection into quite the predicament.

Below are my top five.

None of the players on this list are better overall basketball players than LeBron James. For that matter, Derrick Rose isn’t any more adept at running a team than Chris Paul, and Blake Griffin may never rival Pau Gasol’s touch around the basket. But their value, mostly thanks to youth and lofty ceilings, make selecting them over The King less far-fetched as it once was.

5. Russell Westbrook

When he needs to make a quick decision, say, in transition with numbers, Russell Westbrook morphs into a stallion with blinders. In half-court sets he tends to search for seams that simply don’t exist, stubbornly forcing his square body through a round hole.

But what if we look at Westbrook through a different lens? What if we decrease the comparisons to Steve Nash and replace them with Dwyane Wade’s ability to attack the rim, score at will, and get to the free-throw line enough to keep conspiracy theorists up at night?

Comparing Westbrook’s third season (age 22) with Wade’s second (age 23) is telling.

Westbrook: 21.9, 8.2, 4.6 with 1.9 steals per game.
Wade: 24.1, 6.8, 5.2 with 1.6 steals per game.

Their PER and Usage Rate are within two percentage points, and Wade attempted 9.9 free-throws per game to Westbrook’s 8. Wade took 17.1 shots per night. Westbrook? 17. If a changed environment were to alter Westbrook’s role on his basketball team, the results could be more conducive to the style he was born to play.

4. Dwight Howard

Maybe he’s unfairly being compared to the league’s seven-foot ghosts. Maybe it’s that he has no rival. Or maybe the game’s drifted too far away from the big man as a noteworthy puzzle piece. Whatever the reason, Howard might be the most difficult of the five to build a championship-caliber team around.

He has carved out a niche as basketball’s most imposing defender. He’s the best in the league at altering shots and a top three rebounder, but there’s so many things on the other end he still needs to improve — and time’s running out. The 2009 Finals appearance wasn’t a signal of Howard staking a claim so much as it was Kevin Garnett’s faulty knee rewarding him with a free pass. All that being said, he’s twice as talented as the next best at his position. He’s also 25.

3. Blake Griffin

It’s tempting to put Griffin at the top spot. He’s the youngest player on the list, a more athletic Karl Malone, and for the next eight to 10 years should finish top five in scoring, free throw attempts, and rebounds. Off the court, Griffin seems to be a charismatic person; the most relatable 6’10” gravity defying freak of nature who’s ever lived. On the court he mutates into a monstrous brute. (Multiple reports from a slew of anonymous sources say a handful of players are refusing to see Super 8 this summer, due to its summoning of disturbing Blake Griffin related flashbacks.)

Random Fact: In less than 15 minutes of action, he recorded five assists in his first All-Star game. It took Charles Barkley five All-Star weekends to get five assists total.

2. Derrick Rose

He’s a 22-year-old MVP. Cut it, dry it, place it in the freezer.

And just wait until he starts making 40% of his threes.

1. Kevin Durant

Durant already has two playoff series (2010 vs. the Lakers and 2011 vs. the Mavericks) under his belt that, when we look back in a few years, could be the character-shaping events that transformed him from a talented, once-in-a-decade scorer to a grizzled, 25-year-old assassin. The curtain was turned back a few inches after the Dallas series, and what was revealed should scare everyone in the league. Durant’s mental fortitude aligns well with his atypical body, and the result is destined to be historical dominance.

Despite the triple double LeBron James notched last night in Miami’s Game 5 loss in the NBA Finals, many people are (justifiably) crucifying him for his play throughout the series. In my eyes, he played well, if not amazingly (for him) through the first three games before looking absolutely awful (for him) throughout Game 4. He just failed to assert his physical dominance and force the Mavs to stop him off the dribble in a game during which he scored only 8 points and too-willingly swung the ball around the perimeter.

Even he knows he played like trash.

“Eight points is definitely inexcusable to me. I hold myself to a higher standard than that,” James told reporters at a team press conference, according to the Palm Beach Post. “I didn’t play well. I know that. I was hard on myself all last night.”

Game 5 was somewhat of a different story.

He played better, putting up the aforementioned triple double and generally being more aggressive with the ball while playing excellent defense at times. This was by no means LeBron at his best, or perhaps even his typical (and he got inexcusably SMOKED by Jason Terry on perhaps the biggest play of the game … which came one possession after LeBron missed a long three). But it wasn’t the “no show” that so many people were calling his Game 4 display. He shot poorly but played fine overall. Not great, but fine. And you can’t validly tell me a player was “passive” throughout crunch time when he committed a powerful offensive foul at the rim with 150 seconds to play and took three other shots in the games’ final three minutes.

Although more active, he remained atypically unproductive late again, however — which continues his trend throughout this NBA Finals. And now, if Miami can’t win two in a row at home to come back and win the title, LeBron will be undoubtedly be hit with a tsunami of criticism larger than I can remember any athlete ever facing for his on-court failings.

That’s what I was thinking last night anyway.

Then, this morning, @bandwagonknick posted something that made me, not change that opinion, but reconsider it slightly. Apparently, back when I was in kindergarten, Magic Johnson was similarly ripped apart by the press for coming up short when the sport was supposed to matter the most.

Whatever hurt Johnson felt [when LA lost to Boston in the 1984 NBA Finals] was only to intensify as the summer went on. He was stunned at the way he was carved up by the press that had once doted on him. He was particularly wounded by the suggestions that, with the championship at stake, he had choked. “I sat back when it was over,” Johnson says, “and I thought, ‘Man, did we just lose one of the great playoff series of all time, or didn’t we?’ This was one of the greatest in history. Yet all you read was how bad I was.”

It’s funny how history and time (and, ya know, winning three of the next four NBA titles) changes things. Magic is now the beloved, happy-go-lucky, HIV-surviving, bafflingly uninsightful guy on my TV who most everyone believes could do no wrong on the basketball court. He and Larry Bird “saved the NBA” that Michael Jordan would soon own. He was Showtime. He is a fantastic citizen.

He couldn’t have ever been the guy the media would “carve up.”

But he was.

And we are about to see something similar — on hyperdrive given today’s media landscape — for the next (at least) 12 months if the Heat don’t win two more games this year. It will be an annoying thing to see play out, but unlike the scorn thrown at him last Summer for The Decision, this time, there will be a lot more legitimacy to it.

He is earning this.

LeBron hasn’t played well in the Finals.

For him.

Post-script … Oddly, I was listening to a mixtape by the hip hop super-group Slaugherhouse this morning and, right as I was reading the Magic story that @bandwagonknick tweeted, the Joe Budden diss track “Pain in His Life” came on. (It’s hard to keep track of Budden’s rap feuds but this joint is about Saigon. The two MCs later made up and recorded a track together that features Sai spitting one of the illest verses I’ve heard in years.)

The opening lyrics of that song are eerily descriptive of stuff you could say about LeBron right now:

“It’s like a lose/lose, already my rep ruined
How I beat dude we know will accept losing?
Under Achiever was a underachiever
Almost thought you would come with the Ether“

Rep ruined? Check.

Dude we know will accept losing? Check.

Underachiever? Check.

Almost thought he would come with the Ether (in Game 5)? All the checks.

Heat vs. Celtics, Evil vs.Good, free agency vs. the trading market, tampering vs. a little help from your friends, individual Rucker Park basketball vs. championship-level synergy.

Sunday afternoon, it begins — and all we have to do is sit back and watch, pens drawn, narratives abound.

That said, those of us who want to watch a basketball series and not the ultimate battle of clashing basketball philosophies that don’t clash at all are in for a treat as well. Seven All-Stars will take the court Sunday for the start of a four-to-seven-game series. At least 6 future Hall of Famers will play. And if we’re lucky, Hubie Brown will be in the announcing booth, pointing out every important thing we’re watching.

But what exactly do we need to be watching when they tip-off?

I’m glad you asked.

Who’s Guarding Lebron James?

I’ll let Tom Haberstroh take this one, because he’s much smarter than you, me, and everybody.

According to Newmann and Oliver, Pierce checked LeBron 69 percent of the time, with Rajon Rondo, Jeff Green and Marquis Daniels (no longer with the team) filling in the rest. But against Pierce, LeBron shot just 43 percent from the field and his efficiency plummeted to depths rarely seen from him. In fact, LeBron scored 75 points per 100 possessions with Pierce covering him, down from his 93 points per 100 possessions when guarded by all other Celtics defenders.

We’ve seen this going on in previous Lebron vs. Boston series. Though Boston guards Lebron in a team-wide manner, having Pierce spearhead the defensive effort is key – more than ever when the defensive monstrosity that is Jeff Green is the primary second option. Boston needs Pierce in prime shape, hoping that working on Lebron won’t take the same toll it has taken on his offensive game in the past.

Where’s Dwyane Wade?

In four games against Boston this year, Dwyane Wade is shooting 28% from the field. His true shooting percentage isn’t much better, at a disturbingly low 38%. He registered 21 turnovers to 21 assists, and got to the line only 5.8 times a game (after averaging 8.6 for the year). The narrative dictates that Wade is clutch and Lebron is not, that Wade shows up for the playoffs and that Lebron does not, and that Wade is a good person and Lebron is not, but with Lebron’s averages against Boston on par with his season numbers (29, 6.5, 6.5 on 56.2 TS%, albeit 5 turnovers), the onus to show up will be on the former Finals MVP.

Will Rajon Be Rajon?

In three wins against the Heat, Rajon Rondo had 43 assists. In one loss, he had 5. This is obviously a very cut-and-dry way to look at things, with millions of other factors going in to every one of those 4 regular season games, but the difference is simultaneously astonishing and extremely logical. When Rondo is at the top of his game, penetrating at will and finding his teammates, this Boston offense is a completely different beast. When Rondo is not well, the offense boggles down to a 9-7 March or a 4-4 April.

Who Plays Center?

Joel Anthony has risen from national punchline to cult hero, and with good reason. The handless +/- monster has had a strong effect during the regular season series between these two teams, playing fantastic defense on Kevin Garnett in Miami’s blowout April win. In fact, the Celtics have only scored 89.7 points per 100 possessions with Joel on the court, compared to 99.6 when Zydrunas Ilguaskas is out there.

The picture flips on offense. By replacing Joel’s dunk air-balling goodness with Z’s pick-and-pop acumen, the Heat’s offense vs. Boston jumps a staggering 14 points per 100 possessions. Balancing the two centers (perhaps occasionally playing centerless when Boston trots Garnett out to the pivot) will be key for the Heat.

(Just for kicks, in case one of you still thinks Erick Dampier is a valid NBA center: Miami has scored 54.4 points per 100 possessions against Boston with Damp on the floor. It should be noted that this took place for only 6 minutes all season, but hey, why take notice of sample sizes when making fun of Erick Dampier?)

The center position is just as important from Boston’s side as well, if only because of the increasingly unlikely scenario that Shaquille O’neal ever takes the court again. Shaq was a key part of Boston’s torrid start to the season, which included two closer-than-the-score-indicates wins over these same Heat. Miami has no one on it’s roster who can handle Shaq.

Sadly, it seems as if 39 years of humongousness have finally done the Diesel in.

The Supporting Casts

Miami is the big 3 and nobody else, while Boston is a TEAM. Right? Anybody?

This line of thinking should probably go down the drain at this point. Beyond Boston’s 4 all stars, the team has been absolutely atrocious. Adding on to the Jeff Green outlash is just plain cruel at this point, but Glen Davis hasn’t looked much better, and Jermaine O’neal looks about as creaky as the frequent and generic punchlines make him out to be. Delonte West is shooting 27% in these playoffs so far, and while this probably improves considerably, he’s hardly been the model of consistency these past few years. Boston’s fifth  best player might be Nenad Krstic at this point, which says a lot.

Meanwhile, Joel Anthony has been fantastic defensively, and the James Jones/Mario Chalmers combo are shooting a combined 39% from three. Hardly spectacular, but with rest between games and enabling Lebron, Wade and Bosh to play upwards of 40 minutes a game, the Heat don’t really need spectacular. All they need is to drag Boston’s supporting cast down with their’s, which at the moment, seems very plausible.

Who Shows Up?

A simplistic question, without much analytical standing.

Yet, this will decide the series.

Miami has shown a disturbing lack of urgency throughout this season. The reasons as to why now become completely irrelevant – from here on out, Miami runs the risk of it’s season ending. The urgency should accompany that prospect.

Similarly, we have no idea which Boston arrives. The Celtics aren’t as bad as their post all-star play indicates, but expecting them to flip the switch all the way back up, even if they did it last year, is an extreme leap of faith. And as impressive as they looked in the final 2 games against the Knicks, they were also very close to losing twice on their home floor, to the Knicks.

Prediction, Just Because It Has To Be Done

The Heat are not going to blow the Celtics out. Boston is too proud, the defense is too good, and Miami still lacks the cohesion to pull it off. And Boston is not going to blow Miami out, because Miami has the two best players in the series, in a sport where this sort of thing matters. (Don’t give me the “New York had the two best players in the series too!” bit, because we know better.) It will be a close series, with low scoring and high drama. But this Boston team needs too many things to go just right, and unlike last season, when everything did go just right, I don’t think Lebron skips Game 5.

Heat in 7.

(AP Photo/Morry Gash)

I’m on record as being very pro-NBA Voltron. I really wanted to see LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh play on the same team. Not because I want them to succeed — or even care if they do — but just because I wanted to enjoy watching the moments of greatness that would be achieved by a team featuring two of the three best players in the world. Will they win a bunch of titles? It’s hard to believe they won’t take home a few based on skill alone, but I’m not even talking about that type of season-long, seven-game-series winning greatness. I just simply wanted to see several-minute-long stretches of amazing basketball being played.

My desire to see LeBron and Wade play together comes from purely selfish reasons. I love watching amazing basketball, and these two guys play it very often. Simple as that. Throw in Bosh and things could get historic at times. We might see some random, throwaway quarters and halves of basketball in December or February that rank among the best that have ever been played.

Never is this possibility more apparent than when these guys get out in the open court. LeBron on the break is the equivalent of Karl Malone times Latrell Sprewell with Shawn Kemp’s ability to finish. Dwyane is nearly as ruthless with the ball in the open court — just ask Anderson Varejao. Combine the two and the outcome can get just downright silly.

Well guess what? They are starting to run.

Looking at the data, the Heat stepped on the gas in Dallas after a series of sleepy games peppered with stagnant half court offense. Their transition rate (percentage of transition plays as part of their overall offense) over their last seven games has been above their seasonal average of 13.4 percent.

Thanks to their acceleration lately, the Heat now rank 12th in the NBA in transition rate which is still below where many think they should be. But if we believe their recent transition game is a permanent switch, then their 16.5 percent average over the past seven games would rank head and shoulders above the entire NBA; the Pacers and Bulls currently lead the league with 14.7 percent of their possessions in transition.

The writer of this piece, the excellent Tom Haberstroh, notes that as the run more, they are also improving at it. LeBron started out the season sloppy, turning the ball over too often on the break. “Maybe he was pressing in his new digs and trying to do too much for the fans,” writes Haberstroh. Perhaps. But whatever it is that made him turn the ball over a staggering 18 times in transition in Miami’s first 19 games seems to have been solved — he only has one giveaway in the open court in his last four outings.

And the players are starting to embrace the break. Look at the video below. A 2-on-1 break by LeBron and Wade after a made basket leads to an easy score.

That’s nuts.

Buckle your seat belts.

Perhaps most interestingly — and I use that word rather liberally here — Shaq said something about it. This whole “debate” really is silly, but Diesel quotes are always a good time so here goes.

“I’m anxious to see if he’s going to do the powder thing…. I’m anxious to see him do the powder s—. We have bets he won’t do it.”

Better still was an unprovoked shot at the Foot Locker employee formerly known as Lew Alcindor that this prompted from C-Webb.

“He better toss the powder. Did Jordan wag the tongue? Did Magic Johnson smile? Did Kareem just look at you and not say nothing?”

And obviously the best thing to come out of this is the below Photoshop from NBA Offseason.

Still, no matter how bad the basketball is, all is not for naught. The occasion spurred Rob Mahoney of The Two Man Game, Hardwood Paroxysm, NYT’s Off the Dribble, NBC’s ProBasketballTalk, Voice on the Floor and probably soon the White House to create this epic video.

It’s the best thing you will find on the internet today and perhaps in your lifetime. (via Hardwood Paroxysm)

But while the whole world seems to be savoring this unanticipated opportunity to kick the big, bad, arrogant bully off his pedestal, the reality is that burying this team as a hollow contender right now is premature. Very premature.

The only thing less important than November basketball in the NBA is preseason basketball. So while we should continue to monitor Miami’s struggles, we should also remember these six reasons to not panic just yet.

1. They Haven’t Lost to a Bad Team Yet

The Heat obviously didn’t want to start off 6-4. But they have not lost to teams that are playing poorly. Their first and fourth loses came against the defending Eastern Conference champion Celtics, who are deeper than ever and look like they are going to actually try in the regular season this year. Their second loss came in New Orleans against a team that just suffered its first defeat last night. And their final loss came against Utah.

At the time, this looked like a monumental collapse by the Heat — and it was. But given that it took two three-pointers — and another jumper — from Paul Millsap in the final 12 seconds of regulation just to send the game into overtime, and considering that the Jazz have been causing a lot of other teams to “collapse” of late, this looks more like a tip of the cap for Utah than a wag of the finger for Miami.

2. They Have the Highest Scoring Margin in the NBA

Through 10 games, Miami’s average scoring differential is +9.4 ppg. They have definitely played a few cupcake teams (looking at you Minny and Jersey), but their strength of schedule as ranked by overall opponents’ winning percentage (.534) is actually the 10th hardest thus far. The 8-2 Lakers currently have the second-best scoring differential at +8.9 ppg while playing the 19th toughest schedule. (LA’s opponents are a collective .459 thus far.) The only other squads in the league that have even beaten other teams by an average of more than 5.5 ppg are New Orleans (+8.0 ppg), San Antonio (+7.78 ppg) and Orlando (+7.1 ppg). (And among those, only New Orleans has played a schedule with opponents that are over .500 collectively).

In many educated NBA circles, margin of victory is one of — if not the — best predictor of Playoff success. Part of this is the fact that very good teams regularly blow out the dregs of the Association. But it is also because good teams rarely themselves get smoked. That has so far been the case for the Heat.

Yes, the Heat lost to Boston by 8 points on opening night. But their other three loses have been by a combined 10 points (by 3 to NO, by 2 to Utah and by 5 to Boston the second time). Any loss is a bad loss, but we should probably reserve “the sky is falling” talk for those truly getting smacked around. Admittedly, the final score in both Boston games did not tell the whole story, as the Celtics thoroughly outplayed the Heat in both contests.

But importantly, even playing bad, they had chances to win both times.

3. Miami’s Preseason Was Unlike Boston’s in 2007

When Boston’s Big Three assembled like Voltron in the summer of 2007, there was a feeling of sudden, unexpected joy for Paul Pierce, Ray Allen and — especially — Kevin Garnett. They had all be languishing away their primes on mediocre-at-best squads and became caught up in a whirlwind Danny Ainge talent grab that shocked everyone. Then they met up before the season and headed off to enjoy a team-bonding preseason in Rome followed by another game in London. By all accounts, the three stars were able to kick back and dream on the upcoming season in a care-free European climate, soaking in the fact that they were now, on paper, the best team in the NBA. They also got to chill in Rome, which most people will agree is pretty relaxing.

The Heat’s assembly was almost the complete opposite.

There was no surprise. There was big unveil of The Decision, sure, but LeBron, Wade and Bosh all knew that the 2010 summer was their summer and that they very well might be playing with at least one of these two other guys. Then, after the paperwork was finalized, they faced perhaps unparalleled media coverage and scrutiny. Much of it they brought on themselves, no doubt. But it did happen, and they were never able to escape the cameras like Paul, Kevin and Ray were able to do when they flew across the pond to Italy.

Maybe most importantly, Dwyane got hurt in Miami’s first preseason game of the year. So the team never played together against NBA-level competition until the regular season began. You probably can’t find a person who thinks what happens in preseason is more meaningless than I do, but that has to matter. Rotations, offensive sets and just learning each other’s tendencies does require some time spent playing together — no matter how good the players are.

4. They Weren’t Supposed to Be Historically Good This Year

Forget what you have heard from the talking heads on TV and the new blogs that have been created solely to chart the 2010-11 Miami Heat season. When Pat Riley cleared his entire salary cap just to give nearly every dollar the league will allow him to pay in salary to three guys, it was a coup.

But it wasn’t a 2010-11 title-guaranteeing coup.

At the time, most NBA experts said “Wow. They might win three or four titles together.” Few thought they would be able to fill out the roster well enough to dominate the league and go take the title in year one. Just on talent alone, they might be able to “steal one” if the Celtics, Magic and Lakers came up with some bad injuries or just hit the skids for whatever reason. But there weren’t many who said “Dwyane, LeBron, CB4 and Chalmers? Champ-ion-ship.”

5. Mike Miller Is Injured

As noted above, depth was always going to be the Achilles’ heel of this team. One thing that actually made the case that a 2010-11 Heat title could become a reality was Pat Riley’s unexpected moves to acquire Mike Miller, Eddie House and Big Z while also retaining Udonis Haslem.

Initially, it looked like it would be LeBron, Dwyane, Bosh, Mario Chalmers, Joel Anthony, a few waaaay-past-their-prime guys willing to play for the minimum (looking at you, Juwan Howard and Jerry Stackhouse) and a roster filled out with D-League call-ups. By getting two very valuable role players in Miller and Haslem as well as LeBron’s very-shaky-but-serviceable-for-a-few-minutes-a-night former running mate from Cleveland, it started to look like this team could have an actual 7- or 8-man rotation.

Mike Miller was the guy that made it seem like the Heat could actually be a team rather than an incredible core surrounded by nothing. Without him, the team quickly reverts back to “this will be fun but I’ll start taking them seriously when I see who they can acqure next summer with the mid-level exceptions, minimum-salaries and the draft.”

6. The Struggles Are Strategic — Not Structural

Kevin Arnovitz knows a ton more about basketball than I do. Here, he poignantly breaks down three key flaws we have seen in Miami’s first 10 games: (1) an inability to stop the opponent’s second option in a half-court set on defense, (2) an inability to get easy buckets near the rim on offense, and (3) an inability to prevent points in transition.

These are major things indeed. Great teams don’t struggle with such fundamental concepts of high-caliber basketball. But they are not structural flaws based on the typical talking head rhetoric of things like “Chris Bosh is soft,” “LeBron is not an alpha dog, dawg” or “Wade and James cannot co-exist.”

Kevin’s conclusion on the nature of these strategic flaws must be remembered. “For Miami, each of these three shortcomings is imminently fixable.”

These are Xs and Os of basketball problems. And the fact that they are occurring to the degree that the are, while perhaps surprising, is not shocking. It’s a completely revamped roster featuring three of the best players on the planet trying to adjust their instincts (“it’s going to demand that Wade, James and Bosh each perform a little rewiring,” notes Arnovitz) and several guys who barely belong in the rotation of any NBA team. Yes, that includes the T-Wolves

None of this means that we will see a parade in Miami seven months from now. They very well might not win the title this year.

But this team is far from being a failure — not yet anyway.

So let’s just all calm down.

I’ve been pretty baffled about why everyone has felt the need to make LeBron into some sort of monster this summer. He has been a bit of a naive douche of late, perhaps, but the whole “he ruined his legacy [at 25 years old],” “he’s scared to be the man” and “MJ or Kobe never would have played with Wade” stuff is just completely silly to me. Who cares? New era with new era players who want to win title with their friends.

Seriously, not a big deal.

And that’s what makes this Nike spot so brilliant. It acknowledges all the silly rhetoric that talking heads have been saying for months now and just exposes it all as being totally silly. By the end, the only thing a rational basketball fan can realistically see is, as Matt Moore of Hardwood Paroxysm noted in an email, “a dude that switched jobs and did it in an obnoxious manner.”

That’s all the ever really happened. Calm down. (Cleveland fans can keep being pissed — I get that.)

Meanwhile, the “Hi Chuck” part is one of the best moments in any commercial ever and the kid actor voicing young LeBron who says “should I give you a history lesson?” sounds like Randy Wagstaff from The Wire.

Here’s what Kyle said about Sam v. Wall.

From entertainment to education, there are a lot of benefits to having Sam Cassell on an NBA coaching staff, not to mention that he has relevancy to today’s youthful players — as in, they’ve probably seen some of his games on television, in color. Hence, Cassell can still conduct live demonstrations of his knowledge.

All that plus an ill Jake One beat (from he and Freeway’s really good The Stimulus Package) to kick off the video — not to mention some “Popular Demand” from Pusha and Mal.

Like that Bron Bron?

(via The Daily What)

Let me start by saying I apologize if this piece is suddenly obsolete. In our 24/7 media world, I can only presume you have read your full share of Lebron stories with varying angles, from “THE HEATZ THEY BE ROLLING!” to “LEBRICK WILL NEVER BE KOBE!” But I found it necessary to slow down, take a look around and not let the whirlwind of it all lead me to reacting with half-baked opinions. I have no intention of waxing poetic on the same topic we’ve been hearing about non-stop over the past few days. No, you’ve seen enough of them. Think of this as a response to the general conception, as the way one man sees what we’ve all been hearing.

Public Response vs. My Response

Public Response 1

Lebron stabbed Cleveland in the back not in leaving, but in the way he did it.

Yes. Moving on.

Public Response 2

Because he left Cleveland, Lebron will never be Jordan.

Well, this one is true, but you can drop the “because he left Cleveland” part. It’s time we realize that NOBODY WILL EVER EVER EVER BE JORDAN. Let’s just stop having this contrived debate between Jordan and every dominant wing player that enters the league. It will make all of us much healthier.

Public Response 3

Because he left Cleveland, Lebron will never be Kobe.

*Screeching halt*

In no way can you make that statement right now. No freaking way. Kobe never left the Lakers? He damn well wanted to in 2007, requesting a trade after 3 years of going nowhere without Shaq. The request went so far that the Lakers actually had a deal in place with the Bulls, set to send Kobe to Chicago for a package revolving around then-promising youngster Luol Deng. Only Kobe vetoed it because, without Deng, the Bulls had so little talent that Kobe didn’t think he could contend with them. Kind of like Lebron chose Miami over all other options because he felt they gave him the best chance to contend.

Kobe never quit on his team in the playoffs? Why don’t you ask the 2006 Phoenix Suns how much easier Game 7 vs. LA was than Games 1 through 6. I guess it was much easier, with Kobe taking three shots the entire second half, making none. Or, if the 2006 Suns lack credibility in your book, ask the 2008 Boston Celtics how much easier Game 6 of the NBA finals was than Games 1 through 5.

Look, the great thing about NBA basketball is that we don’t know anything until it actually happens. Yes, Lebron has zero titles  seven seasons into his career, by which time Kobe had three. Also, Kobe took those three titles alongside arguably the most dominant player ever in his most dominant stretch ever. The best player to ever play alongside Lebron in the postseason was Daniel Gibson. So while Kobe’s career is thus far superior to Lebron’s in every which way, and anybody making an argument to the contrary is either blind or incredibly unintelligent, we must always remember that career comparisons come at the end of careers, not in the middle of them. Will Lebron ascend to Kobe’s level when all is said and done? Right now, it looks as if he doesn’t. Not when Kobe’s claim to fame is his unquenchable thirst to win and to improve, while Lebron wastes his summers on hour-long TV specials. But there is no possible way to say that he never will. Unless you can see the future. At which case I’d like to know next week’s lottery numbers.

Public Response 4

If he wanted to win, he would have gone to Chicago.

Ummm … what? How is an up-and-coming, All-Star point guard, an undersized All-Star power forward and a borderline All-Star defensive center better than a top two shooting guard and a much better, not undersized All-Star power forward? I’m sorry, but I just don’t get this line of thinking at all.

Role players excluded, Wade/Bosh is a much, much better combination than Rose/Boozer/Noah. It’s no contest defensively (yes, Noah is great, but Wade is an all-worlder in this regard, and while Bosh isn’t the best defender you’ve seen, he’s better than Booze). It’s even more of a no contest offensively, where Bosh is amongst the league’s best, and Wade is amongst history’s very best. And while Rose’s and Noah’s youth enable Lebron to grow old with them, it also means that they’re not as good as Wade and Bosh right now, which is when Lebron wants that ring. Not to mention, they will never be as good as Wade and Bosh. Both have tremendous upside (more so Rose), but this is out of their league.

The only place I see an advantage for Chicago over Miami is in depth. Rose/Boozer/Noah are three guys, Wade/Bosh are two. In addition, the Bulls have a Luol Deng/James Johnson/Taj Gibson supporting cast, while Miami has just Mario Chalmers. But that brings me to my next point, which is…

Public Response 5A

The Heat can’t win a title because they have no role players.

Let’s ignore for a second that Miami has traded Michael Beasley for nothing, which, combined with the new Superfriends all taking less money, enables signing Mike Miller. The Heat can now offer any free agent only a minimum contract … but this comes with the opportunity to play with a nearly unprecedented force in this league. Of course, some of these guys need money and won’t tag along, but plenty of others will. Ben Wallace played for a minimum deal last year, and his renaissance in Detroit would have been a huge story had the Pistons been relevant. You think he wouldn’t want to start at center for this team? What about Raja Bell, on the downside of his career? Eddie House, looking to taste that sweet victory champagne again after being let go by the Celtics? Every single bought-out guy in late February?

And even if the familiar faces choose not to join for whatever reason — we are coming off the best season ever for D-League talent. The Golden State Warriors featured Anthony Tolliver, Cartier Martin, Chris Hunter, CJ Watson and Reggie Williams as rotation players throughout the season — all D-League guys. Alonzo Gee broke into the scene in Washington. Sundiata Gaines rose to fame after making a game-winning shot against the Cavs.

The D-League is full of more of these NBA-level players just waiting to get a chance. The Miami Heat roster is full of empty spots waiting for contributors to step in. There is no reason why the marriage can’t work. The Heat have 82 games to filter through this pool of talent — a pool that we know, now more than ever, is overflowing — find the best guys and trot them out. And playing with some of the best players in the world, the chances of them finding absolutely nobody who can step up are minuscule. Add that to what the brilliant Mark Deeks of ShamSports calls “one of the best undrafted classes of recent years,” and Miami should have themselves a rotation in no time. Not to mention that Lebron made Daniel Gibson, JJ Hickson and Jawad Williams look like legit NBA contributors in Cleveland. With Wade and Bosh creating even more open looks for the other guys, that trend should continue.

Of course, there is another side to this coin that is being mentioned quite a bit …

Public Response 5B

Miami is an immediate title favorite.

Again, let’s slow down a bit.

Yes, the Heat now bolster a trio nearly unparalleled in the NBA. But basketball isn’t played three against five. And confident as I am in the Heat’s ability to fill out their roster (see 5A) there are still 29 other teams in the league that, until opening night, are tied with the Heat for the best record in the league and pose big questions.

How do the Heat stop the Dwight Howards and Pau Gasols of the world with no current defensive player in their frontcourt? How can they rival the depth of the Magic and Celtics? Even the pseudo-contenders of the East, a group that as of today consists of Chicago, Milwaukee and Atlanta in my eyes, probably have something to say to whoever is anointing Miami as Eastern Conference champs — let alone NBA champs. And we don’t even know how this trio will work on the court or in the locker room. Talk to me next April. Actually, make that June.

Public Response 6

Lebron has admitted he can’t win alone by going to be Dwyane’s sidekick.

This is probably the dumbest statement I’ve heard throughout this mess, and yet it is the most prevalent.

Yes, Lebron James failed to win a title as the leader of the Cleveland Cavaliers. But look at the rosters he had to work with over the years. NOBODY in NBA history won a title with a roster that bad. Nobody. The only All-Stars Lebron played with in their primes were Zydrunas Ilgauskas, whose skill diminished noticeably by the time Cleveland was a championship contender, and Mo Williams, who is as much of an All-Star as you and me.

And yet, he took that roster to the best record in the league for two consecutive years, carrying them night in, night out. He took them to the NBA Finals, behind one of the greatest playoff performances ever that we somehow allowed ourselves to forget. Yes, he choked against Boston. But it was his first playoff loss that was his fault, the first time in five years of overachieving that he didn’t do everything humanly possible in a playoff series. And least us not forget — Boston was the better team, and won not because Lebron was bad, but because the Cavs had nobody to guard Rajon Rondo and Kevin Garnett. Lebron simply didn’t do anything to counter that.

So now, when Lebron is taking less money to play on a better team — a potentially historically great team — we’re calling him out? We’re actually faulting this guy because he chose playing with an all-time great and an all-NBAer over playing with Anderson Varejao and Anthony Parker in his starting lineup? If everything is indeed about winning, and the main criticism on Lebron was that he doesn’t want to win as much as his peers, isn’t this the only move he could have considered?

As for the sidekick thing – give me a break. When Shaquille O’neal signed with the Lakers in 1996, it was Nick Van Exel and Cedric Ceballos’ team. Was Shaq the sidekick? When Tim Duncan came to the Spurs, it was David Robinson’s team. Was Timmy the sidekick? The fact of the matter is, Lebron James is still the best player in the league, and he will be the best player on the Heat even if they bring in Josh Boone in free agency. The “I was there first” argument works for standing in line at a pizzeria, not when discussing the pecking order on an NBA team. Even if the player who was there first is responsible for the team’s only title.

Besides, why do we need a sidekick anyway? Why do we need only one alpha male, only one player who takes the last shot? If the Charlotte Bobcats had a team consisting of Chris Paul, Brandon Roy, Carmelo Anthony, Dirk Nowitzki and Dwight Howard, you think that team wouldn’t win the title just because everybody would want the last shot? No, I’ll tell you what happens in the last possession: Chris Paul will handle the ball, because he’s the point guard; he will get a screen from Dwight, because he’s the best screener in the game; Dwight will roll to the basket; and from that point on, the team will move the ball to the open player, who will knock down the shot because he’s awesome.

Same here. This consensus that final possession basketball consists of an isolation play for clutch guy X is absurd. It works when you have said clutch guy, but why should it be the final option? If you have two or three guys that can all step up, why categorize them into “the guy with the ball” and “the guy who’s watching”? And why does it even matter if the team is good enough to win the game in the first 47 minutes?

The whole legacy discussion in sports is looked at the wrong way. We say titles matter the most, but players have to win the title in the predetermined mold, and each title carries different weight depending on the role said player had on the team. And that’s fine. Nobody thinks Robert Horry is better than Michael Jordan because seven is a bigger number than six. But this point of view comes with an undefined resolution. Jordan was the best guy on his title teams, and Kareem was the best guy on his, except Jordan had Pippen, and Kareem had Magic. Does this give Kareem more credit? Or Jordan? Shaq had young Kobe, old Kobe had Pau. Is Pau as good as young Kobe? Is old Kobe as good as Shaq? What about the coaches? What about the role players? We insist on pegging these guys into these rigid roles and use those roles to analyze the hell out of them. But what if we miss by just a bit? What if Pau is a tiny bit better than Manu Ginobili? Nope, they were both the number-two sidekick, so they’re the same. Please.

Besides, as much as I hate repeating this point, we have to remember that there is still plenty of basketball to be played. What if the Miami Heat win the title next year, only the finals feature Lebron averaging 40, 10 and 10 while shutting down Kobe, and Wade shoots 14%? What if Lebron is injured in the first round of the playoffs, but Wade leads the team to the title without him? What if the Heat never win a title because Kevin Durant turns into the Optimus Prime and doesn’t lose a playoff game until 2025? We don’t know what will happen, because it hasn’t happened yet. Just like in 2007, when Kobe was getting criticized by every punk with a keyboard, nobody imagined that the summer of 2010 would turn him into the guy everyone is rooting for to take down the Miami axis of evil.

I get the need to write some of the stuff that we’ve been reading. You don’t sell papers by telling people to wait for the games to play out. But the bottom line is that we’re discussing the sport of basketball, not the sport of offseason moves. And as such, legacies are built in the games themselves. Lebron James still has plenty of basketball to play. History shows he’s very good at it. That doesn’t change just because his jersey has different colors or because he’s no longer playing in a city that recognizes the concept of cold weather.

I’m not trying to defend Lebron. Though his decision to leave was perfectly legitimate, he handled the entire situation in the worst possible way, and I, too, hoped he would stay in Cleveland and prove he could win over there. But I do think that this backlash has been overdone.

Has Lebron shown that he’s a narcissistic human being with little to no awareness as to how his decisions affect the millions that idolize him? Yes. But this decision does nothing to diminish the fact that he is the best player in this league, that his MVP awards were blowouts of the 1992-Dream-team-against-Angola proportions, that he single-handedly carried the worst NBA Finals team ever within four wins of an NBA title or that, from a skills-only standpoint, he might be the greatest player to ever play basketball.

That much we know, because it’s in the past.

The future? It could go anywhere.

The true beauty of this league is that less than an hour after Lebron’s much-criticized Decision, the New York Knicks and Golden State Warriors completed a trade that both teams hope will improve their chances at a title of their own. And less than a day after that, the Charlotte Bobcats re-signed Tyrus Thomas. And the Chicago Bulls signed Kyle Korver. And the New Jersey Nets signed Johan Petro. Each for their own reasons. (Tyrus has ridiculous upside, the Bulls need a shooter, and I have absolutely no idea) Each with their own dreams of success.

Good as the new-look Heat may be, we still have 29 teams — lead by the defending champions, least you forget — that want a title just as much. Who will win it? We have no idea.

Which is why, come late October, I will be watching.

(AP Photo/ESPN)

In related news, it seems like a good time to revisit this. I feel like Paul Pierce could be the next mayor of Cleveland if he made this his campaign ad. Maybe throw in a dramatic effigy burning image with some sweet, CGI explosions.

I randomly came across this just now while image-searching LeBron.

We shall see.

Larger, more-legible version here.

Enjoy.

And please be sure to subscribe to Talking About Practice on iTunes, where ratings and reviews are encouraged.

(h/t NBA Offseason)

Previous Doc Funk Friday installments can be found here. And much, much more unadulterated goodness can be found from the man himself at Brain on Funk.

Head that way ASAP.

From Suns vs. Spurs Game 2

From Magic vs. Hawks Game 1

From Cavs vs. Celtics Game 3

From Suns vs. Spurs Game 1

From Suns vs. Spurs Game 3

“AN OUTRAGE,” screamed various fictional people I’m caricaturizing, who protested outside the NBA offices in New York burning effigies of Karl Malone, David Robinson and Stephen Nash. (They being past MVP winners who some think didn’t deserve their awards, you see.) About those who misguidedly voted for someone other than the King, critics have claimed incompetence (old writers don’t follow the league well enough to know any better), bias (at least one — and I believe two — of the people who voted for Dwight as MVP were from the Orlando area) and immaturity (one writer decided LeBron didn’t deserve the MVP for sitting out a few games late in the year). There is also obviously a level of bitterness from smaller writers who think themselves more qualified to vote than the bigger, older dogs who, in their eyes, spend more time filling out their TGIFridays comment cards than their awards ballots.

The whole thing has essentially been one huge, insider circle-jerk that the average basketball fan couldn’t care less about. (Matt Moore breaks it down further — and well — here if you do care.) I mean, LeBron, while not named MVP unanimously (something that I don’t believe has ever happened), did win by about 600 votes. That’s a lot. And no egregious mistakes were made in regards to the other awards either.

In the midst of all this shouting, however, there is an issue. And Bethlehem Shoals, as he is wont to do, wrote a banger today on the whole post-season award hullaballo that brings up some related issues of actual interest.

(Full disclosure: My man-crush on Josh Smith certainly makes me less than objective here. I pretty much thought the guy sucked until like 8 months ago and now he’s one of my favorite five players to watch in the league, so we’re still in that “don’t you dare say anything bad about my dude” phase of our relationship. No homosexual, naturally. Do the kids still say that? I sure hope not. It’s really offensive to gay people, I reckon. Again, no homo. Wait? Dammit…)

Shoals talks about how it’s pretty dumb that Smoove, this year’s runner-up for Defensive Player of the Year, did not even make the 1st-Team All-Defensive … team. (No redundancy.) Worse still, is the fact that he has been, as Shoals put it, “twice screwed by process,” as he was also oddly absent from this year’s All-Star team despite being the best player on an overachieving team that sent two others to Dallas (Joe Johnson and Al Horford).

Defensive Player of the Year … is the big enchilada. It was always fated to go to Dwight Howard — just as LeBron James had the MVP coming his way, except somehow it was okay if Smith or Gerald Wallace got some first-place votes. And yet Smith coming on in second spoke volumes. Whoever voted on the thing, it said to the public “dude is now among the premier defenders in the league.” For a public only so interested in these things, it was a nice hook. The boy has become a man. The Hawks are in the building.

And then, yesterday’s [All-Defensive Team] announcements, and with it, all that crumbling. Simply put, no amount of “who votes on what and why” can explain away Smith on the second team.

For the All-Star team, speculation, squeeze-outs, and self-interest are part of the game. But it’s okay, since justice will never be served. In these two cases of defensive awards, we have two ballots seeking to determine who defends better than others. The average fan could care less what ballot actually goes where, and why irregularities may be proof of corruption. The All-Star Game is inherently messed-up, a combination of irrational fan voting and coaches trying to pick up the pieces as best they can. Perfection is out of the question.

All-Stars, though, don’t need attention. All-Star Weekend is an event. The defensive awards? They need to be making a push for relevance.The way not to do that? Send conflicting signals whose only recourse is the the kind of explanatory inside basketball (who is the voter, why do they err) that casual fans have zero interest in.

It would be like if the MVP didn’t make the first-time All-NBA. Both would be cheapened.

Good stuff.

I’ve been saying all year that it was going to be awesome when Josh Smith makes 3rd-Team All-NBA without having even been an All-Star this year. Deron Williams pulled off that very feat in 2007-08, and I — being the pretentious, indie-snob-type of dude that I am — always enjoy when that happens. It earns the guy his “respect first, then money … basic shit” merit badge and basically turns them into an NBA version of In Bruges or Sean Price.

Heads know.

Most don’t.

Obviously, maintaining that below-the-surface superiority status is probably less appealing to guys like Deron and Josh. For them, these awards and All-Star appearances are career development. They can literally lead to millions of dollars. Smoove and DWill aint starving, so I’m not going to go on a hunger strike to ensure they receive their due props, but it goes to show that, yes, the voting process may actually have some flaws and there indeed may be real-world ramifications for real people, so the league should at least broach the topic of improving the process.

Because, at this point, I’m pretty sure Josh Smith won’t be making 3rd-Team All-NBA. And that’s a shame.

I would love to hear you try — and fail — to list 15 other guys who played better this season.

Kyle Korver also clearly got screwed over by All-Defensive Team voters. Make loud noises.

Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

This series is not.

On paper, this should be a nail biter. The teams split the regular season series. Both won their first round series in 5 games. Both teams are as healthy as they will ever be (and yes, I’m assuming that LeBron’s elbow is fine, because he’s a cyborg and cyborgs don’t feel pain). And while the Cavs are deeper, and had the far superior regular season record, they are also employing a line-up that has played less than 10 games together, including in the playoffs, and lack the championship pedigree of their green opponents. All in all, this evens out.

Until you look at the fine print.

How did Boston got those regular season wins? Well, one was on opening night, against a Cleveland squad playing it’s first game with Shaquille O’Neal in uniform after a shaky training camp, without Delonte West who was battling personal issues. Since then, Cleveland acquired Antawn Jamison, got Delonte back, got Shaq in the mix, and gained two rotation players in J.J. Hickson and Jawad Williams (though the latter might be kind of a stretch), while the Celtics regressed to .500 ball from Christmas Day onward.

The second Boston win came 10 days before the end of the season, after the Cavs clinched the league’s best record, without the aforementioned O’Neal. Cleveland basically rolled over for 3 quarters, allowing Boston to go up 22, before LeBron decided he feels like trying and instantaneously made it a close game, only to lose the game on some questionable decisions – and missed some free throws – in crunch time.

How did Cleveland get their wins?

One was a late February game, one week after Jamison joined the team, which was close for three quarters before the Cavs turned it up in the fourth (notice a trend here?) and won by 20. The other was a mid-March, Shaq-less contest, an 11 point win that wasn’t nearly as close as the score indicated.

“Sure,” you could say, “but how about those first round series? Boston looked much better there!”

Well, the Cavs, playing at first gear, beat a Bulls team despite the Bulls playing two or three of their best games of the season. The Celtics, with extreme motivation, beat a Miami team that consists of Dwyane Wade … and … yeah.

Not to take away from the Boston’s win against Miami – they upped the defensive intensity, and managed to convincingly win a series that many, including yours truly, predicted would be very close. But how does that help them against Cleveland? Letting Wade get his and stopping the likes of Beasley, Chalmers, Haslem and Jermaine O’Neal’s dead body is hardly the same as letting LeBron get his and stopping Jamison, Mo, Shaq and an array of three-point snipers. Besides, just letting LeBron get his could be enough to lose.

Look, I might be selling the Celtics short. I pretty much declared their title chances – for this year – over once Kevin Garnett was ruled out from last season’s playoffs, and my stance didn’t change one bit even when they started the season 23-5. And while I still believe the Celtics as presently constructed to be all but done as far as a title contender, I may be letting that opinion get the better of me.

And yet, the question remains:

When have the Celtics ever given us any indication that they are capable of beating these guys?

Even at full strength, rolling towards a title, a much stronger version of these Celtics needed 7 games and a fourth quarter outburst from P.J. Brown to put Cleveland away. And this was when Cleveland had, maybe, 10% the supporting cast, the Celtics had James Posey (whom they’ve never adequately replaced), and Kevin Garnett was still one of the best players in the league.

So yes, Rajon Rondo will probably have his way with Mo Williams, weaving his way into the paint for numerous floaters and funny looking layups, just like Derrick Rose did before him and Jameer Nelson will do after him. Ray Allen will make some big threes, Paul Pierce will still be Paul Pierce, KG will yell at all sorts of things, be them opposing point guards or stationary objects. Heck, maybe even Rasheed Wallace will get off the bench and show the Cavs that even though he already mailed in a playoff series against them last year, he’s still enough of a bonehead to do it again. You know, all the those Celticy little things we’ve come to know and love.

And after all that is said and done, LeBron will get his ridiculous stat-line, Jamison will get his 18 points without releasing the ball from above his shoulder even once, Anderson Varejao will draw 5 charges and 8 technicals, some kind of dude with an unnecessary J in his name will score a big three and follow it up with a 5 minute hand shake/rain dance, and the Celtics will go home.

I know this sounds bleak, and not very fun. But I promise you, it’s not like that. It will be a fun series. The games themselves should be fairly close – not the defensive slugfest kind of close, but the entertaining kind of close, as these teams have quite regularly produced in the past.

And don’t fool yourself into thinking that this series can’t affect the NBA title. In fact, this is the ultimate Cleveland gut check: for all of Lebron’s greatness, he hasn’t beaten a legit, top tier team in the playoffs since the Pistons in 2007. Unfair as that assessment may be, it’s on him to prove that he can hold up to that pressure. If he doesn’t against Boston, he won’t against Orlando/whoever comes out of the West.

As for the Celtics, this series can dramatically alter their future. If they somehow take this to 7, or even win (which I don’t see happening, at all, but you can never be sure in this league), then maybe they stay course, hope KG’s knee is better after yet another summer off, re-sign Ray Allen, sign another, strong mid-level bench guy (not like Sheed), and take another shot. If they lose in a blowout … well, then maybe it’s time to blow this thing up. (Fun side note: if Allen leaves in free agency, no team is a better fit for him than Cleveland. Nobody.) The whole Ubuntu, heart of a champion mentality of this squad will be put to the test here, even if it seemed like it abandoned them during the season.

And no matter what happens, whether this goes 4 or 7, we’ll get to see two very good teams doing what they do best. You can never go wrong with that. It’s just that at the end of the day, one of these teams is better than the other.

By quite a margin.

And they have Lebron.

Cavs in 5

Deron Williams proved to be even more amazing than we thought. The Spurs stole home court from the Mavs. Josh Smith has devoured four souls. Dwyane Wade learned new and more vengeful ways to hate his teammates. Joakim Noah went to war with the city of Cleveland. Gerald Wallace suffered 14 undiagnosed concussions. And J-Rich had the best game of his career.

Still, the best development of this postseason thus far has not happened on the court or even within Joakim’s scrunchy — it has happened in Photoshop.

Doc Funk has been dropping masterfully captioned photos after each game, and every batch is better than the last. LOLz for dayz. So to help spread awareness and revisit some of the awesome, I’m planning to do a little “best of” recap each Friday until the trophy is handed out by posting my fav five (don’t call it that) of the week.

Be sure to check out Doc Funk’s Brain on Funk for many, many more everyday.

And please let me know in the comments if I missed your favorite.

Here goes:

Matt Barnes and some ref from Magic/Bobcats Game 2

Kevin Durant and Phil Jackson from Lakers/Thunder Game 1

LeBron from Cavs/Bulls Game 2

Vinny of the Black from Cavs/Bulls Game 3

KD and Russell Westbrook from Lakers/Thunder Game 3

There are some bear analogies.

Are my bear analogies as cool as an actual, real-life, three-legged bear walking upright through the woods on its hind legs? Well, no, of course not. I’m not Mark Twain. But I have included a video of that very situation right here for your enjoyment. (It gets good around the 0:50 mark.)

The bee noises creep me out, too. I had to mute it.

“I’ve dreamt of being famous. But I’ve never dreamt of being that famous.”

(video via, who else, @jose3030)

In the Spring of 2007, I was just a young pup in this NBA blogging world. Since then, I have accumulated literally dozens of readers and made untold tens of dollars writing about the NBA, but back then the only people reading this blog were me and Drop Dead Fred. (He didn’t even like it … I just spammed his Gmail account with links to my posts.)

Then, on April 4, 2007, I did a post called “The Top 50 NBA Commercials of All Time” that got linked to from Henry Abbott’s new ESPN version of TrueHoop and a cavalcade of other NBA blogs that probably don’t even exist anymore and, like, 40,000 people showed up. Since my previous high in any day was somewhere south of 4 unique users, it was pretty cool.

Unfortunately, within the year I switched hosting companies and perhaps-due-to-nonpayment (who remembers really?), I lost pretty much all my old content in the transfer. It seemed like a bummer at the time, but honestly the commercial thing and like three other posts were probably the only not completely terrible things I ever did. Still, losing stuff sucks.

HOWEVER, through the miracle of the a tech-smart friend of mine, I was recently able to recover some stuff. And so, mostly because I want to put it back in my archives, I’m re-posting it as it was originally posted verbatim in April, 2007. (Thus, forgive the omission of any spots from the last three years that warrant inclusion.)

Additionally, this may as well be the formal launch of “The NBA Commercial Project,” which will be an attempt to gather links to video for every NBA commercial ever made. We’ll start with just these 50 and build on that. And that’s where I’ll need your help. Head over there and drop links to videos in the comments.

Just do it (wocka, wocka, wocka).

Check the full, original Top 50 after the jump.

[Written on April 4, 2007]

This needs to be prefaced by saying these are only the best that can be found on YouTube. Meaning…No Grandmama, no Nique Pump ads, no Bird/Magic Converse, no “Grant Hill Drinks Sprite,” no Moses Malone rebounding, and, believe it or not, no Derrick Coleman British Knights spots.

Even so, I’m sure there are some glaring omissions. Let me know what I missed.

Now excuse me while I finish my Gatorade, put on my Nikes, and log-on to ESPN on my T-Mobile phone while I head to McDonald’s.

(If you have any audio trouble, try toggling the volume icon on the lower right corner of each entry. If that doesn’t work, just re-load the whole page and you should be good.)

50. Play it Again, Grant

This is only here because of how amazing it is to remember that these guys were both once about as good as it got in their respective positions. Unfortunately, Grant’s ankles fell apart and Dan Patrick turned into a giant douchebag.

49. Kobe’s 81

Looks like he had a pretty good night.

48. AI’s Slow Spin

This loses points for helping popularize the once-underground and cool, and now everywhere and obnoxious And 1 dribbling phenomenon.

47. Dancing Gheorghe

This is just a teaser for the Gheorghe to come later.

46. Timmy’s Delight

[2010 UPDATE: This was a cartoon spot with Timmy and Rapper's Delight playing, but can't find it in English. Here's this some-other-language-version though to give you the gist. And here's the JWill one from the same series. There was a KG one, too, I think.]

Duncan shows more emotion in this 30-second cartoon than he has in his entire NBA career.

45. 100-Foot Rim

Probably not that great all things considered, but I’m giving out bonus points for it being a dope shoe and the early-90s CGI.

44. Big Slam

[2010 UPDATE: Not even sure what I was talking about ... this is a Pepsi Big Slam Shaq one though, even if it's not great.]

The Big Cameo.

43. Spike and Timmy

“Look at the Ugly Knuckleball Action.”

42. TMac’s Tall Tale

Could have been better, but a good effort.

41. Kobe’s Matrix Dunks

It’s almost hard to believe this is even the same guy that wears #24.

40. Jugador Mas Valioso

I was trying to stay away from ads for the actual NBA sponsored by the NBA itself, NBC, ABC or TNT because there are just too many of them and most of them are boring, but when you put a guy who can barely speak English into a spot where the whole premise is him speaking Spanish, you’re making the list.

39. Slam

This is here only because of the little kid and the dunk over Zo.

38. The Greatest

I could have made this with Powerpoint and Cassio’s “My First Keyboard.” Goes to show how easy your job was when MJ was hawking your product. This probably won’t be the last you see of him.

37. Tastefully Done

Not sure why, but watching this one is when I feel the oldest.

36. Don’t Walk

Could of been done a lot better, but making fun of Patrick Ewing earns you points.

35. Magic’s 7-UP Tricks

Think he slept with her?

34. Check

I don’t care if you have a whole army of businessmen, girls in bikinis, fat construction workers and Mexican migrant workers….You’re not stopping The Kid.

33. Yo, Yao

Mocking foreigners is always a good time.

32. Really Wasn’t About the Hat

[2010 UPDATE: Can't find the hat one anymore ... Here's some outtakes though]

Chuckster at his best.

“Is this your dad?”

31. King Kong McGrady

King Kong meets Gulliver’s Travels.

30. Godzilla vs. Barkley

Good luck with that, Big Zill.

29. Can I Kick It?

This is the poor man’s version of that Tiger Woods golf ball juggle commercial. Pretty impressive for a Canuck point guard, though.

28. Dwyane vs. Flash

Do whatcha do.

27. Daruis & Q

Great song + head pounds = #27.

26. Agent Zero

There was 0 percent chance that this wasn’t making the list.

25. Frozen Moment

This one was better at the time than it is now. However……

The Lil Penny remix still holds up just fine. (Don’t worry, more LP to come.)

24. Swingers Dirk

[2010 UPDATE: The Vlade one is still on YouTube ... and probably better anyway]

All these Trophy Love spots were pretty good. This was my favorite. Here’s the ones with JKidd, Nash, Vlade, and Manu & Tony.

23. Umi Says

Mos Def, extended edition (the Jeter appearance cost this one some points).

22. The Glory of The Mustache Days

Click here for more info on the history of the NBA moustache.

21. AI and Jada

Jada kills this Trackmasters sneaker squeak beat.

The A6 Remix, this time with an verse from AI

20. One on One

If Kobe would just embrace the dark side, everyone would respect him a lot more.

19. Not a Role Model

He always was shy.

18. Gheorghe Muresan Cologne

Screw Scorsece, I still can’t believe the Academy overlooked an Oscar for My Giant.

17. That’s a 90-footer

CGI at its best.

16. The Shirt

Exactly what we were all thinking.

15. Zeke the Thief

Speechless.

14. Coulda Dunked … Shoulda Dunked

Three more MJ appearances for the price of one.

13. Nationwide Basketball Society

Easily Diesel’s best performance since Curb Your Enthusiasm. But most of these Ali G/TNT spots were pretty great. Here are most of the rest.

12. The Second Coming

You know it’s good when it convinces you to enjoy a Dip Set track.

The “Kobe Being Kobe” version is 10x better though.

11. Fun Police

[2010 UPDATE: After finding the Cherokee Parks one, this definitely should have 7th. Sincere apologies.]

Unfortunately, these are probably the worst two in the Fun Police series. If I had the better ones in front of me this is probably in the Top 5. Step your game up, YouTube.

UPDATE: Thanks to Sam for hooking us up with a link to the better Fun Police spots. “Your facial expressions when you dunk are VERY limited.”

10. Nasty Dunk

An ad with the Four Best Centers Ever and one of the most hilarious catch phrases of all time gets you an automatic bid to the Top 10.

9. Freestyle

Extended edition. Great stuff.

8. Mars

Money … it’s gotta be the shoes.

This, you cannot do.

What’s the over/under on Spike, 4?10??

7. The LeBrons

“Dunk Contests are Bourgeois”

“You Think Michael Trained in the Pool?”

The First Season

6. Like Mike

If this song isn’t in your head for the rest of the day, please burn your Social Security card and leave my country immediately. You’re not wanted here.

5. Lil Penny

The “Super Bowl Party” is basically the “We Are The World” of sports commercials.

Double Action.

Lil Penny Classic.

The Secret Service couldn’t guard me.

4. Johnny Kilroy

This version (and the video quality) is pretty horrible. Go here for the proper edition with Steve Martin and “The Popcorn Tape.”

3. Roswell Rayguns

I’m just gonna lump these together so they don’t monopolize the Top 10.

Snoop and George Clinton’s Funk Ship.

Dr. Funk.

2. The Showdown

With MJ’s sweater and Bird’s backhair, it’s really hard to leave this out the #1 slot.

1. XXI

On the other hand…’Nuff said.

But stuff like this is easier to sell you on. And he’s 25 now so we only have another few years of “NO WAY he just did that?” physical feats on the reg.

Don’t check out on the regular season is all I’m saying. Stuff like this is happening — even during terrible Knicks games. (via Hooped Up)