“It’s A JOKE how good this guy is.”

– Jeff Van Gundy last night during the 4th quarter of the Mavs 15-point comeback that put Dallas up 3-1 in the Western Conference Finals and essentially stamped their passport to the NBA Finals

Dirk has scored 135 points on 73 shots so far in this series. That’s 1.85 points per shot.

That is all.

(image by Aykis for GetBangedOn.com)

But as good as they are in a standalone highlight reel or YouTube clip, they are 1000x better live during a game. It’s one of the things that makes basketball, and particularly the NBA, so amazing to watch no matter whether it’s Game 4 of the Finals or a random Hawks/Mavs game in December. At any given moment, something completely out of the blue and unreal might happen.

For instance, I was watching the Heat play recently, as I’m wont to do given my unchartable affinity for Dwyane Wade, and I saw this amazing behind-the-back dribble to split a double team plus an acrobatic layup finish thrown in for good measure. (It’s number two on this Plays of the Week video. It’s at the 1:57 mark and definitely worth your time).

This one brief moment in time (not to mention Dwight’s insane block, which is number four on that countdown) was insane. It’s things like this that make me wonder how anyone can ever watch NCAA basketball aside from the awesomeness that is March Madness. I mean, I try to watch. I went to St. John’s University and try to at least watch a little Big East. And when I’m at work and find out that Duke/Carolina is on that night, I get all pumped up to watch it when I get home.

Then I actually get home and see that there is a Nuggets/Jazz game on, and I’m like “Duke/Carolina will play again later in the year, right?” Because as much as the Tobacco Road thing is cool from a historic rivalry and huge intensity standpoint, there will definitely be multiple things done by Carmelo and Deron in a random Denver/Utah game that make anything that happens in a UNC game look like the basketball equivalent of tee-ball.

But I digress. Getting back to the original point, half of what makes these three or four other-worldly moments per NBA game so amazing is the spontaneity and the holy-poop-that-came-out-of-nowhere factor. And not only are you the fan caught off guard, but so are the defenders, the fans in the arena, the announcers and — oftentimes — the player himself. (Ricky Davis’ borderline leapfrog of Steve Nash is probably the coolest, organic, “what did I just do?” reaction, whereas The Reignman Point, which is number one here, is probably the best “I just did that? You’re damn right I just did that” reaction.)

And it is those times when announcers are caught off guard that I want to praise specifically right now. It’s always been a hobby of mine to pick apart the mundane, over-obvious, old-man-non-humorous and outright incorrect things said by in-game announcers. They are, by and large, pretty poor, and even though I fully realize that it’s a job that is very hard to do well, I more fully realize that it’s really easy and fun to mock those who do it.

But on rare* instances, announcers say something great. And on even rarer instances, these amazing audio moments are unexpectedly forever ingrained in video form by a forthcoming highlight. I’m not talking about the “spec-TAC-u-lar move” or “OOOOOooooooh, MAN … Hell-o” reactions to great plays. I’m talking about the things that are just being said nonchalantly and then oh-so-rudely interrupted by a moment that stops time.

There aren’t a lot of good examples for me to throw out there off the top of my head. But there has been a handful of great ones of the past few years that I remember really enjoying. None, however, likely compares to this “audio posterization” of the unnamed, yet clearly-being-discussed Hasheem Thabeet.

As you’ll see in the video below, Rudy Gay utterly baptizes Al Thornton with a baseline jam. Good stuff, Rudy. Well done. But as he is doing it, you will also hear Clippers announcer Ralph Lawler discussing this year’s coveted number two overall draft pick and saying “…Dikembe Mutombo. But a lot of people think he’s more likely to be the next DeSagana Diop.”

OOOOOooooohhhhh, Man. Hell-o. That has to hurt. How’s your pride feel, Thabeet? (video via Hardwood Paroxysm)

And now we will now forever have this audio posterization courtesy of Rudy and Lawler that will can replay endlessly eight years from now when Hasheem is on his fourth team and playing 15 minutes per night.

And that will be funny.

In the meantime, let’s keep a look out for future — or past — audio posterizations that you come across. Everyone enjoys them, so if you find one, come back here and drop them in the comments. Or at least email me the link.

* Marv, Clyde Frazier and Jeff Van Gundy excluded

Still, it’s impossible to not recognize how good the MSG Network is. It shows a lot of classic Knicks stuff, which is great because Clyde Frazier is the flyest known human and each time they talk about Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals, it draws us one step closer to the day we all collectively stop erroneously referring to it as “The Willis Reed Game” and start rightfully calling it “The Clyde Frazier Game.” (Walt dropped 36 points, 19 assists and 5 steals on 12-17 shooting from the field and 12-12 from the line.)

Additionally, the network often shows great non-Knicks performances very often as well. Currently, for instance, the channel is showing a program called “Returns to MSG,” which is featuring things like MJ’s “Double Nickel” game where he dropped 55 on the Knicks in his first trip to the Garden after failing to succeed in minor league baseball and Bernard King’s first game playing in New York after signing the Washington Bullets. It also includes MSG returns of guys like Clyde (who was dealt to the Cavs), Patrick Ewing (who played pretty well for Seattle), Mark Jackson (who dropped 18 and 8 and did some shimmying with the Clips), Pat Riley (who was nearly lynched for bolting to Miami), Charles Oakley (who is a guy so dope even a Pacers fan has to love) and Jeff Van Gundy (who was so gutter ghetto girls fell in love with him). Epic stuff. (0n a related-but-not-related note, this morning someone shared this YouTube link with me from when AI returns to Philly.)

In other news, the MSG Network often airs some good street ball stuff from Rucker Park, which is rare to see on television ever since ESPN’s “Streetball” show overexposed and trivialized the And 1 Mixtape phenomenon even quicker than it ruined Texas Hold ‘Em. And it just so happens that right before the “Returns to MSG” show, they were showing the “EBC at Rucker” show. Basically, it is what it says it is: a show of highlights from current and past Entertainer’s Basketball Classic tournament action from Harlem’s legendary Rucker Park.

This episode concluded with one of the greatest moments in Rucker History. It was 2003 and David Stern showed up — and brought his friend President Bill Clinton with him. The two luminaries sat there in attendance watching the action and seemed at home even though they both stood out for their overwhelming whiteness and all-eyez-on-me fame. In an interview conducted some time later, EBC announcer Al Cash aptly reflected upon what having these two men in the stands meant for NYC basketball: “It was a good look for Harlem.”

Better still was the fact that rapper Fat Joe’s “Terror Squad” team was playing that day and one of the other announcers had the foresight to borrow Joey Crack’s gaudy “TS” chain and put it around Stern’s neck.

And even better than that is the fact that there’s a photo of said incident.

First off, we see hilarity ensuing after Lakers Kobe, Lamar, Andrew and Luke gather for Team Night a la Casa de Pau. Hilarity ensues. And sSecondtively, the notorious JVG and SVG play some board games and shotgun some beverages.

And if you still want more, you can also find several videos in their “Drunk Dialing With Charles Barkley” series over at website. The one with Diesel is rather good the one with David Stern isn’t half bad either. And in nonbasketball-related news, the ones with “high school football player turned All-American turned gynecologist” Dr. Gerard Leavenworth are goddamn stellar.

As everybody knows by now, Shaq is on Twitter. And he loves it. The dude updates constantly, even dropping this tweet just a few hours before last week’s game against the Lakers:

THE_REAL_SHAQ Sittin next to steve nash, tryna get him to join twitter

Unfortunately, despite the novelty of Diesel putting an end to the “impostor Shaq” who had been duping some gullible people for weeks by pretending to be the big fella on the social networking site, the actual content of his “tweets” hasn’t been nearly as amazing as one would expect. There are a few nuggets of greatness here and there, but mostly it’s just meh.

But it’s his desire to bring Steve Nash on-board that got my attention. Nash, of course, would likely be incredibly boring to follow and constantly be saying things like “CANADIAN_BACON Remember to recycle” or “CANADIAN_BACON Terry Porter and I have philosophical differences about basketball but he’s a swell fellow.”

But there are a whole host of other NBA folk who could be simply spectacular.

These are my top ten.

Let’s get after it.

Shaq loves his Twitter and here he is with his Twitter BFF PhoenixSunsGirl. (Photo: PhoenixSunsGirl)

10. Marco Jaric

Untethered and constant communication from Marco could serve as an inspiration to millions and reinforce the fading global concept of the American Dream.

MJ2 On yacht with Adriana

MJ2 Game against Kobe then drinks at SkyBar with A, Heidi, Marisa and Double R-Stamos

MJ2 Vlady borrowed the Bentley so I’m driving A to her photo shoot in the Lambo

MJ2 Headed to PHX for a game and then Vegas with Leaaaaaaandro

MJ2 @VladRad You meeting us in LV? Got my whip?

MJ2 Judging a Vicki Secret pillow fight at Heff’s

MJ2 All-Star Weekend!!! PHX for them — St. Tropez for me

9. Donald Sterling

I need to know what this guy is up to at all times.

8. The Van Gundies & El Lopezi (four-way tie)

All @replies, all day, every day.

BLo @RLo ur hare iz retrdad

RLo @BLo nuh uh

SVG @JVG I’ve never seen Rashard block a shot. Not in practice. Not at the NBA Cares elementary school game he played in

BLo @RLo is to, lulz

RLo @BLo is not

JVG @SVG Please. Compared to Allan Houston, Rashard is Scottie Pippen

BLo @RLo yessirz

THE_REAL_SHAQ @BLo Lay off mi amigo or The Big Assassin will kil ur girlfriend. lol. serious though, ill strangle her with a XBox controller cord

BLo @THE_REAL_SHAQ U better not . Minny Mouse is my everyting

SVG @JVG Dwight is RFLAO about Allan Houston

JVG @SVG I have no idea what that means but Mom says you look like an asshole in that mockneck/Abboud outfit. Grow up and put on a shirt and tie.

RLo @THE_REAL_SHAQ YEA SHAQ. Me, you, raja and biggity barnes should chalenge Brook, J boone, e & vince to a Survivor Series tag team match. that would be awesome we wood totaly win

THE_REAL_SHAQ @RLo calm down young’n

7. Vince Carter

This one comes with the caveat that that he doesn’t tell us what he’s doing, but only posts ten-times daily links to his favorite websites, LOLCATS and I Can Has Cheezburger.

6. Masha Lopatova (Andrei Kirilenko’s wife)

Given her “you can bang some other chick once a year” policy, I imagine she’s got a fairly single-track agenda.

AK47_BOO @AK47 u comin home tonite?

AK47_BOO @AK47 u comin home tonite?

AK47_BOO @AK47 u comin home tonite?

AK47_BOO @AK47 u comin home tonite?

AK47_BOO @AK47 u comin home tonite?

AK47_BOO @AK47 u comin home tonite?

5. Kevin Durant

Presumably, no one reading this has ever been to Oklahoma City. And since Kevin is one of twelve black people who have ever lived there according to census data I just made up, it would be an interesting sociological experiment to see what kinds of things he’s up to — especially when you factor in the mounting frustrations of a potential Hall of Famer whose talent is being squandered by the worst team in the League.

Durantula35 Won our home opener. Big start in OKC. Go Thunder.

Durantula35 Taking a date to Cheesecake Factory. Love that place! That Chicken Marsala is off the hook.

Durantula35 Tough loss. Russell and Jeff are playing better though. We’re coming together.

Durantula35 Wanted to go to Champs to buy a GP throwback tonight. But it closed at 7:30.

Durantula35 I’m still playing SG.

Durantula35 Cheesecake Factory.

Durantula35 Another home loss. Ugly game. We got booed.

THE_CHOSEN_ONE @Durantula35 Keep ya head up, Young Money

Durantula35 Chicken Marsala again.

Durantula35 Just heard back from Josh Childress. Says Greece is nice.

Durantula35 Ten-game skid. Urgh

Durantula35 cheesecake factory to celebrate PJ getting fired. nice.

Oden3000 @Durantula35 was hoping to see you in PHX for ASG. Maybe next year, homie.

Durantula35 new coach…still playing SG

Durantula35 lost to sacto at home…again

Durantula35 got dropped from nike.

Durantula35 chicken marsala

Durantula35 new coach is a dick…choked him during shootaround. whoops

Durantula35 just heard from Stern. one-year suspension.

Durantula35 bored. broke. robbed a liquor store. shot a korean.

Durantula35 final sentencing: attempt murder, 62 months minus time served

Durantula35 tossed some Colombian dude’s salad for a length of rope

Durantula35 Brooks Was Here. So Was Redd. Durantula Too. Bye World.

(Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Image

4. Etan Thomas

I don’t know what a slam-haiku sounds like but I want to. Sixteen times a day.

(Photo: Politics and Prose Bookstore)

3. Susha Vujacic

We could pretty much bank on a more sophisticated display of his normal 1, 0, 1, 0, 1, 0, 1, 0 programming syntax.

The_Machine Camp

The_Machine Shoot

The_Machine Camp

The_Machine Shoot

The_Machine Camp

The_Machine Shoot

The_Machine Camp

The_Machine Shoot

2. Latrell Sprewell

Latrell joining Twitter would allow the world precious daily reminders such as:

Spree8 Only 37 hours left on that 56″ Plasma eBay auction. Never Watched! Don’t SLEEP!! http://tinyurl/635vc8

Spree8 Northfaces, son. NORTHFACES. Black, blue, cream, puffy, goretex, I got it all. Check the Craigslist http://tinyurl/65t9g7

Spree8 I’ll wax your car. Holla.

1. Ron Artest

What? Did you actually expect someone else?

One looks like a bald accountant who’s been up all night preparing for the April 15th tax deadline, and the other resembles legendary porn star Ron Jeremy.

It goes on to give a little bit of a history lesson on the family’s tenure in the NBA and drops this nugget of spectacular, which begins by talking about the post-Riley Knicks era.

Back in New York, Don Nelson’s run as Riley’s replacement was short-lived and Jeff was named head coach of the Knicks in January 1996.

The team offered him limousine service to and from games, but he declined, choosing to drive his Honda instead. When asked to name his favorite restaurant in New York, he said McDonalds. Like his brother, Jeff didn’t wear $2,000 suits or slick back his hair (opting instead for a hideous comb-over).

Remarkably, he may be the more sophisticated of the two brothers. Stan never sent an e-mail until the day he resigned from the Heat in December of 2006 and is still not technologically inclined enough to program contacts into his cell phone.

But most importantly, the article mentions a song by some group called Citigrass called “The Ballad of Jeff Van Gundy” that supposedly “captures the devastation [Knicks fans] felt when he resigned in 2001.”

Unfortunately, I’ve never heard this song, nor can I find it anywhere conveniently on the interweb. I will, however, make it my life goal to do so. If anyone has any insight, please let me know.

I’ve admittedly been criminally negligent in updating this site of late. Lots of things going on. Apologies. To express my regret, I’ll be blogging the hell out of today’s games for the next few hours.

With no more ado, let’s get going.

LA/Utah is starting to show promise. What a stellar first half. Deron came out cooking. So did Odom. Boozer…not so much. It’s a shame to see him crawl back into his Game 1 and 2 hole. Excluding his monster Game 3, Carlos is now 10 for 31 from the field in this series. If he doesn’t turn things around, they may as well call off the rest of this series.

Speaking of turning things around, how ’bout Luke Walton and Mamba doing their best Thomas Hill and Christian Laettner impression to end the First Half? For those that missed it, it looked just like this, except for Kobe spun the other way and is not a slow, white, geeky chump.

Despite that shot, Kobe’s back is a little banged and he’s moving a little awkwardly. He still played well and distributed the ball very well, but it is still nowtime for Utah to capitalize. They clearly can’t stop Gasol, but they need to come out of the locker room strong and maybe blow this thing open.

Also, that Ronnie-on-Ronnie flying forearm shiver was fantastic. Between that takedown, the James Posey sleeper hold attempt on LeBron yesterday and the Macho Man memorial clothesline put on Rajon Rondo during the Hawks series (oh yeeaaaaaah), it’s great to see the NBA getting back to the gully days of the 1990s. I can’t be the only one eagerly awaiting Jeff Van Gundy running out of the booth to break up a fight, can I?

Meanwhile, there are three Ronnies prominently involved in this series. It warrants a mention.

Moving on…It’s 55-55 coming out of Half Time.

Here’s to hoping Utah can tie it up at 2-2 and give us at least a second interesting series to watch in these Playoffs aside from the Chris Paul vs. The World show. (I’m already giddy in anticipation for 8 o’clock)

Step it up, Booz.