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Jameer Nelson

When you think of a “warrior,” an image of a Blue Man Group-looking dude on steroids holding a thunderbolt is conjured up in your mind, right? Wait, you’re actually picturing Kevin Costner wearing bear skin garments holding a spear? Sick bastard.

I get it, the dude is supposed to be a warrior wielding a thunderbolt. And since I didn’t read comic books, the only guy I know who threw thunderbolts was Zeus. And Zeus was just a big ol’ whore … which I guess is fitting since both the Warriors and Too $hort represent Oakland.

But Blue Man Warrior isn’t prepared to throw the thunderbolt down from the heavens as Zeus did. No, he looks like he’s about to shank someone in the shower.

Then you have the Eyes Wide Shut mask. Boy, the artist really has a thing for Greek mythology/Stanley Kubrick flick carnal undertones. He or she probably nicknamed the rendered character Fidelio and spanks it to creepy piano music.

Which brings me to another issue. Dude has his shirt off. How many warriors go to war without protecting their vital organs? None that I know. Brendan Haywood would probably call this warrior a regular Stephon Marbury.

Yep, the Golden State Warriors logo pretty much sucks. And if you were wondering … yes, I think I can do better. I’m talking neon-colored arm tassels people. But hey, I guess the current version is better than the smiling, basketball-dribbling Native American that the franchise first used as a logo when it was in Philadelphia.

Kyle Weidie runs the Wizards blog Truth About It and has also written on the NBA for Bullets Forever. He can tell you in vivid detail what’s so fun about Tom Gugliotta and his favorite beverage is Tuff Juice.

warriors logo

What exactly was wrong with this logo? Or the RUN-TMC uniforms? Someone might have overthought this whole thing.

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Supercool Beas and Back Tats

by Jared Wade on August 22, 2009 at 6:56 pm

I’m not really up with the tattooing trends of today, but it’s beginning to seem that “giving yourself a tagline across your shoulder blades where your name would go on a jersey” is the new “giving yourself a tagline across your stomach like Pac and Nas.”

Logistically, it makes sense. There’s more space, so you have a few more characters to work with.

Michael Beasley is the lastest addition to the club and his is particularly interesting in that he paid homage to the Nas’ “God’s Son” belly tat but relocated the words to a trapezius canvas. (via Red’s Army)

beasley-back-tat

Much like Tupac’s “Thug Life” piece (and, later, Nas’ “God Son”) popularized the stomach tat trend, 50’s “South Side” (of Jamaica, Queens) piece probably helped spur this new phenomenon.

50 cent tattoo

LeBron probably has the most famous one (via Slam). Unrelatedly, I saw the theatrical trailer for More Than a Game, the upcoming documentary about his Akron, Ohio, high school basketball team, last night prior to The Hurt Locker (which was excellent). It looks really, really good.

lebron chosen 1

Meanwhile, Bron’s “arch-rival” Deshawn Stevenson got one of his own. (via DC Sports Bog)

deshawn-tat

This isn’t a real tattoo, but Sideshow Varejao poked some fun at his teammate one day during practice. (via Shaver Sports)

varejao chosen 2

Jameer Nelson has embraced his inner Tupac.

jameer nelson tattoo

Brendon Jennings is similarly repping a Lil Wayne slogan.

brandon jennings tattoo 2

Vince Young isn’t in the NBA, but he does have his name on his back.

vince young tattoo

Some Chinese Olympic badminton player named Cai Yun is the “Face of Adversity.”

chinese olympics tattoo

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Not a Lot of Dave Coulier Fans in Orlando

by Jared Wade on July 29, 2009 at 11:40 am

Skeets found a good video today where about half of the players on the Magic fail to identify the theme song to Full House. In their defense, most of them do actually know the song, but can’t come up with the show title.

One of them does eventually get it right, however. I’m not gonna spoil it for you, but it may or may not have been JJ Redick. I know, I was shocked, too. Courtney Lee almost had it though.

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Embracing the Actual Magic

by Jared Wade on May 27, 2009 at 5:37 pm

The other day, someone asked me “Has any team ever improved as much during one Playoffs as this Magic squad?” I don’t know the answer to that silly question (even though it is undoubtedly “yes”), but thinking about Orlando’s run thus far did prompt me to realize that I can’t recall another squad of the 2000s that has more endeared itself to me during a postseason.

In many ways, I’ve enjoyed watching the Magic all season. But, honestly, it’s been more like that Stuff White People Like post about “The Idea of Soccer.” The gist of the concept is that people who aren’t actually soccer fans yet want to project themselves as worldly and cultured will always say they really like soccer even though they can’t name any players aside from David Beckham or tell you the current Premier League standings.

That’s how I was all season with Orlando; I liked the idea of the Magic.

I liked their potent offensive scheme of surrounding the most athletic physical specimen from Krypton with two of the most dead-eyed jumpshooters on Earth. I liked Dwight’s vacuum-cleaner work on the boards. I liked the fact that Jameer shocked me by turning into a helluva pointguard somehow. I liked Stan Van Gundy more than any other coach not named Popovich or Jerry Sloan. And I of course loved everything about Marcin Gortat.

But I just thought they were impostors — even as I was consistently impressed while watching them blow out other teams in the regular season. I think a lot of people had similar thoughts but for me personally it probably even went a little deeper.

Growing up, I patterned my game around Reggie Miller. In high school, I was one of the better three point shooters in our league and, like Rashard, about half the shots I took were treys. I had a lot of big games and made a lot of huge shots but, in hindsight, and after I got older and the other parts of my game caught up to my shooting ability, I sort of started to resent being so one-dimensional. I should have done more to control the game in other ways. So nowadays I tend to look down on players — and teams — who put all their proverbial eggs in the same jumpshooting basket.

Sure, Orlando’s offense was potent in the regular season, but what happens when Hedo and Shard both have an off-night from the perimeter? (We all know this team isn’t making the Finals on the strength of its defense.) Sure, Hedo is an able ball-handler and can run a decent pick-and-roll given his height, but are other teams really going to allow Turkoglu to burn them with clutch shots? Sure Rashard is a great shooter, but if he isn’t hitting his jumpers, is he really adding much to an offense.** (His reluctance to destroy Big Baby/Scalabrine in the post during the first few games of the Celtics series provided some nice confirmation bias to that theory.) Sure, Dwight is a monster on both ends, but is he serious with those things he calls “post moves”?

But as the Magic have advanced through the postseason, each and every one of those “fatal flaws” have been discredited…further proving my theory that I’m not very smart.

Rashard Lewis is not only sticking fourth quarter daggers, he’s going by people with pump fakes and finishing at the rim. He’s spreading the floor as a decoy. He’s hitting bank shots around the block. He’s making the right pass. He’s efficient. He’s savvy. He’s a constant factor.

Hedo is not only playing point-forward, he’s finishing in the paint. He’s finding Dwight for lobs. He’s drilling step-back jumpers. He’s getting out of the way when need be. He’s drawing double teams. He’s kicking it out to open shooters. He’s a rock.

Dwight is not only dunking on people, he’s crushing their spirit. He doesn’t need post moves to control the whole game. He just bangs in your grill. He just owns the boards. He just makes every penetrator aside of LeBron scared to enter the lane. He just turns your well-conceived pick-and-roll defense into nonsense. He’s just a cyborg. He’s just built for this.

And then there’s Rafer, whose performance last night perfectly illustrates why Orlando never has to worry about an off night from either Hedo or Rashard.

The other day, Stan Van Gundy said in a press conference that a coach really can’t control how many shots his players take. The other team’s coach decides that. If the other team wants to take the ball out of Hedo’s hands, they can do that through various defensive schemes and Hedo will have to either become a facilitator or start forcing bad shots. If the other teams wants to double Dwight and turn him into a passer (something Mike Brown may want to look into, by the way), they can do that and Dwight will have to become an offensive rebounder.

Last night, Mike Brown — like Doc Rivers before him and Tony Dileo before him — dared Rafer to be Orlando’s shot-maker in a big game. So Rafer went out and made shots. Just like he did in Game 7 against Boston. Just like he did in Game 6 against Philly.

In doing so, he made it look like that was Orlando’s game plan the whole time.

When Mike Piet (he sounds like a better player if you call him that) got hot in the fourth quarter, it looked like Orlando’s offense was built with him in mind. When Courtney Lee caught the ball on the perimeter and blew by the slower defender guarding him, it looked like just another play drawn up by Stan Van Gundy. When Marcin Gortat slipped a screen, caught a pass in space and dunked on nobody, it looked like a well-orchestrated counter-attack to Cleveland’s pick-and-roll defense. And when all these extra options came after ten effective minutes of running the ball through Hedo, Dwight or Rashard, it looked like an unstoppable offense.

But, really, that’s just how basketball is supposed to be played.

That’s how you play in the park.

If a guy gets hot, you give him the ball. You don’t do rigorous analysis to figure out that Rafer Alston has shot 33% from the wing this year versus 44% from the top of the key and plan around that. You just go out there, throw the ball around and figure out what is working right now. Then you keep doing it until it stops working.

If Rashard is missing his jumpers you just swing the ball to Pietrus in the corner. If they aren’t letting Hedo drive off the pick-and-roll, you put him in the corner and let Courtney Lee break his man off the dribble. If Kendrick Perkins is pushing Dwight Howard off his preferred position on the block, you clear him to the weak side and let Rashard go to work on Glen Davis.

Basketball is a simple sport. People love to over-complicate it, but the game usually comes down to the fact that no good offensive player can be guarded one-on-one. Thus, the defensive team  has to react to that fact with help defense. And when the defense does that, the offense now has an advantage somewhere else. If you’re a good offensive team, you exploit your primary advantage until the defense takes it away and exposes itself somewhere else. Then you attack there.

Rinse and repeat.

That’s all the Magic do. Over and over and over and over again. And they make it look so easy because all they do is take and make open shots. They find an advantage, exploit it until it ceases being an advantage and then find something else to do for a while.

Everyone who has ever played basketball loves playing pick up that way. One guy gets hot one game and hits four threes. Then another guy gets his post game going and you feed the beast until he misses. Then you catch a slow guy trying to guard a quick pointguard and you let him blow by his defender a few times. If you have good offensive players and they get into a groove where they switch up how they attack the defense, there should never be any stopping them

That has always been the most fun way to play basketball.

As I’m only now realizing for some reason, it is also the most entertaining way to watch other people play basketball in the Playoffs.

And as the Magic are proving more and more with each passing night, it might just be the most effective way to win the NBA Title, too.

** (In hindsight, it’s pretty funny to realize that Mo Williams is currently the walking embodiment of the useless corpse I feared Shard might become if he wasn’t hitting jumpers. If Mo’s not knocking down shots, not guarding anyone and not even setting up the offense better than LeBron can, what purpose does he actually serve? What would you say it is you do in this series, Mo Will?)

"They Can't Guard Us All."

“They Can’t Guard Us All.”

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I have to laugh every time someone says the NBA isn’t as good as it used to be. Sure, expansion means that there are fewer teams who have a legitimate eight-man rotation and those that do (i.e., the Lakers and Cavs) are automatically that much better than the rest of the League, but the individual talent level throughout the Association has risen so high over the past three or four years that historically great performances and plays have been happening at least once a week since November.

Nowhere is this more apparent than at the point guard position.

Of course, we all know about the two great gifts bestowed upon us by the 2005 Draft: Chris Paul and Deron Williams. And we’re all very familiar with the resumes of Jason Kidd, Steve Nash and Chauncey Billups, who raised his legacy to even further heights by playing out his goddamn mind in the first two games of this year’s Playoffs. But as Marc Stein so aptly pointed out in his great column today, we also now have Rajon Rondo and Derrick Rose putting on the best PG vs. PG show of the postseason thus far. Throw in Devin Harris’ ascension, Andre Miller’s overlooked-yet-always-dependable floor generalship, Jameer Nelson’s evolution and Rodney Stuckey’s potential, and we’re looking at a renaissance that can make even the most jaded NBA onlooker forget all about the Starbury/Franchise-led, shoot-first era of point guards.

And then there’s Tony Parker, who has had a better season than any of em.

Since tomorrow night could very well mark last game of a truly transcendant season where he morphed from solid, trustworthy player who could make a few big plays down the stretch to a guy who no player in the League can stop from getting to the rim, I just wanted to spend a few words praising his play this year. But since you don’t really wanna read me go on and on about how some French guy has put an entire team you probably haven’t enjoyed watching for at least four years on his back and carried them for the past 50 games, just go read Kevin Arnovitz’s great breakdown of just exactly how unguardable Mr. Parker has become. And, yes, I know Jason Kidd has some serious defensive issues at this stage of his career, but Tony has been doing this to the whole League to the tune of 24 ppg, 7.5 apg and 3.5 rpg on 52% shooting since the All-Star break, largely due to a newly lethal mid-range game that allows him to pull-up whenever his defender sags three feet — something every guard in the NBA has to do if they wanna keep the fiery Francophile, the Parisian Torpedo (see video below) in front of them.

So even though the Spurs will probably get uncermoniously bounced by the Mavs tomorrow, don’t be surprised when Tony’s flirting with 25 ppg next year.

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