The NBA Logo Ranking Project: #20 – Sacramento Kings

Jared Wade — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 13:53:24 +0000

I don’t have much to say about the Kings logo. It’s not as bad as some of the prior ones, but it certainly isn’t good. And not only is it worse than the franchise’s old one, but it’s just got too much going on. Lances, a crown, a basketball, a triumph banner and two overly stylized yet mismatched fonts? Probably a bit much. In other news, knights joust, kings do not.

And…that’s all I got.

So rather than forcing it, I’m just going to Kool Aid Man the fourth wall and let you all in on the behind-the-scenes “discussion” that kicked off this whole project like two weeks ago. Since Zach Harper writes Cowbell Kingdom, I asked him for his views on Sacto’s logo. And since I’m rather lazy, I also asked him if he would write a couple of these NBA Logo Ranking Project posts for me so that I could have some extra free time to sit back relax, catch a contact, sip my cognac and wash this money through this laundromat.

This is the Gmail chat that transpired.

Zach Harper to me show details Aug 14 (13 days ago)

1:29 PM me: how you feel about the Kings logo?

Zach: I hate the color purple

1:30 PM especially in sports

me: Oprah will be upset to hear that

Zach: Oprah will be upset to hear a lot of my opinions

i think the kings should go back to the red, white and blue days of the early 90s

not the powder blue

1:31 PM but the regular blue

so until they do that, the kings logo is dead to me

me: I see

1:32 PM well…with a lack of any other ideas and nothing happening in the NBA currently, I was about to do 30 posts ranking all the logos

1:33 PM just like 200-300 words of blathering on and bad jokes — ya know, the regular BTPH stuff

you got 10 minutes to bang one out?

1:45 PM Zach: ya definitely

this is what the Kings should go back to

http://www.sportslogos.net/logo.php?id=hay4efj2pocfp9zjtmwff2eem

why did this go away?

http://www.sportslogos.net/team.php?id=1119

1:46 PM me: not sure…I actually might sorta not hate the Kings new one too though…comparatively

I think I preliminarilly have it like 15th…that’s how bad most of these are

1:47 PM Zach: the one with the SK?

me: nah..this one

http://www.sportslogos.net/logo.php?id=832

1:48 PM Zach: i’m not so sure about the jousting sticks

i would have liked some serfs asking for pittance at the bottom of the logo or something it’s actually pretty fun to pick these apart

me: yeah…I’m actually having a good time with it

you can write a few if you really have nothing better to do

god knows I don’t have 30 jokes in me

1:58 PM Zach: ya, i’ll do as many of these as you want

the nets one has nothing to do with an actual net

is has more to do with Saturn than a basketball net

1:59 PM me: wow…that’s amazing

didn’t even notice the stupidity in that

2:00 PM Zach: this may not be a reference you’re familiar with but the Wolves logo is reminding me of the smile of the mom of one of the Girls Next Door

she basically has no lips and is all teeth

it’s pretty dead on

2:01 PM me: is that the movie about the hot high school porno chick in suburbia? With Seth from Deadwood?

Elisa Dusk or Dunk something

Zach: no, the Hugh Heffner show

me: Douche Shoe maybe?

oh…

yeah…not particularly familiar with that one

Zach: Douche Shoe? hahahaha

2:02 PM me: no wait…it’s Elisha Cuthbert

isn’t there an Elisha Douche Shoe out there?

2:42 PM Zach: Doesn’t this look like Mike D’Antoni went into the witness protection program?