Tag Archives: Great Moments in Facial Hair History

Great Moments in Facial Hair History, Vol. XIX

It’s unlikely that any dunk by a bearded man will top Baron Davis’ “put that in your flattop” destruction of Andrei Kirilenko. The frenzy that it created and the reactions of Adonal Foyle, Matt Barnes, Stephen Jackson and Mickael Pietrus combine to make this arguably the best in-game dunk the NBA has ever seen. Throw in the dude with a goatee that we see at the 30-second mark and it’s probably a no-brainer.

James Harden may have taken Baron’s title as King of the NBA Beard, but he will never top that.

On Sunday, he did try, however. And while he came up short, James Harden basically stole the soul of JJ Hickson — even nailing the post-dunk reaction as you can see below.

For this, Mr. Harden is honored with a Great Moment in Facial Hair History.

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying

Great Moments in Facial Hair History: Vol. XVIII

One thing that certainly pervades the subtext of our ongoing Great Moments in Facial Hair History honor roll is that I myself have a full beard. I’m not sure that I’ve ever revealed that fact outright, but it is a true story. More than merely being a proud member of Team Beard, however, I also belong to an even smaller minority group: Team Bald With a Beard.

There aren’t all that many of us.

There’s me, there’s Cody Ross, there’s Ricky Rozay,  there’s Kevin Youkilis, there’s (pretty much) Kimbo Slice, there’s (that one time) Bruce Willis, and there is, of course, the late, great Isaac Hayes — the godfather of Team Bald With a Beard. Rest in peace, fine sir.

Now … there is also Vince Carter.

Welcome aboard.

Now try not to let down the team — for once.* (image via Doc Funk)

Vince Carter Beard

* I have actually defended Mr. Vinsanity against what I deemed overly harsh criticism for years. Then he missed those free throws last year in the Playoffs. So sorry, Vince, you’re on your own vs. the lions now. I’m done.

Great Moments in Facial Hair History: Vol. XVII

This is very irregular. I mean, normally, I would never ever celebrate anyone’s decision to shave his beard. Nay, I would condemn it. That’s madness, sir. Madness. Honestly, what are you thinking?

But under the following circumstances, as you can see below, we do need to make an exception. Watch the video and it will be pretty clear why. If you watch Trey with the trimmer, it’s like Fyodor Dostoyevsky, ya know what I’m saying. The poetry of it.

So congratulations to Trey Kerby aka “Brad Miller” aka “Yert” aka “Not Al” for induction into Great Moments history. And just imagine how good the unabridged version is gonna be when it arrives in theaters everywhere this fall? Hopefully in 3D.

Let’s do this, Jimmy Cameron.

Great Moments in Facial Hair History: Vol. XVI

Baron Davis once again makes Great Moments history by offering to sell you the beard that’s gonna change your pathetic beardless lives. And it could be all yours for for the recession special price of $29.99.

But wait … there’s more.

Get this — the beard comes along with a free Deron Williams Texturizer Kit. Shop now or forever look like a lady. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying

Great Moments in Facial Hair History: Vol. XV

Do eyebrows count as facial hair? I say they do.

The following photo and message came our way via @HawksPRman prior to the Hawks victory over the Rockets last night:

Before you’re shocked tonight, Hawks head coach Mike Woodson is minus his eyebrows tonight…don’t ask me why…LOL!

Why does he have no eyebrows? Lost a bet? NFL playoffs-related possibly? I have no idea. And at press time*, neither does anyone else.

Says Lang Whitaker of SLAM:

OK, been texted folk and nobody seems to know the deal w/ Woody’s eyebrows. The mystery deepens…

Perhaps we’ll never find out.

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This blog doesn’t use paper. What I mean is “bench press” time. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to lift weights. Lots of em. Really heavy ones. Call me, ladies.