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Clyde Frazier

In Praise of Audio Posterization

by Jared Wade on November 9, 2009 at 2:21 pm · 1 comment

Everyone loves a great highlight. Dunks, dimes, blocks … They all good.

But as good as they are in a standalone highlight reel or YouTube clip, they are 1000x better live during a game. It’s one of the things that makes basketball, and particularly the NBA, so amazing to watch no matter whether it’s Game 4 of the Finals or a random Hawks/Mavs game in December. At any given moment, something completely out of the blue and unreal might happen.

For instance, I was watching the Heat play recently, as I’m wont to do given my unchartable affinity for Dwyane Wade, and I saw this amazing behind-the-back dribble to split a double team plus an acrobatic layup finish thrown in for good measure. (It’s number two on this Plays of the Week video. It’s at the 1:57 mark and definitely worth your time).

This one brief moment in time (not to mention Dwight’s insane block, which is number four on that countdown) was insane. It’s things like this that make me wonder how anyone can ever watch NCAA basketball aside from the awesomeness that is March Madness. I mean, I try to watch. I went to St. John’s University and try to at least watch a little Big East. And when I’m at work and find out that Duke/Carolina is on that night, I get all pumped up to watch it when I get home.

Then I actually get home and see that there is a Nuggets/Jazz game on, and I’m like “Duke/Carolina will play again later in the year, right?” Because as much as the Tobacco Road thing is cool from a historic rivalry and huge intensity standpoint, there will definitely be multiple things done by Carmelo and Deron in a random Denver/Utah game that make anything that happens in a UNC game look like the basketball equivalent of tee-ball.

But I digress. Getting back to the original point, half of what makes these three or four other-worldly moments per NBA game so amazing is the spontaneity and the holy-poop-that-came-out-of-nowhere factor. And not only are you the fan caught off guard, but so are the defenders, the fans in the arena, the announcers and — oftentimes — the player himself. (Ricky Davis’ borderline leapfrog of Steve Nash is probably the coolest, organic, “what did I just do?” reaction, whereas The Reignman Point, which is number one here, is probably the best “I just did that? You’re damn right I just did that” reaction.)

And it is those times when announcers are caught off guard that I want to praise specifically right now. It’s always been a hobby of mine to pick apart the mundane, over-obvious, old-man-non-humorous and outright incorrect things said by in-game announcers. They are, by and large, pretty poor, and even though I fully realize that it’s a job that is very hard to do well, I more fully realize that it’s really easy and fun to mock those who do it.

But on rare* instances, announcers say something great. And on even rarer instances, these amazing audio moments are unexpectedly forever ingrained in video form by a forthcoming highlight. I’m not talking about the “spec-TAC-u-lar move” or “OOOOOooooooh, MAN … Hell-o” reactions to great plays. I’m talking about the things that are just being said nonchalantly and then oh-so-rudely interrupted by a moment that stops time.

There aren’t a lot of good examples for me to throw out there off the top of my head. But there has been a handful of great ones of the past few years that I remember really enjoying. None, however, likely compares to this “audio posterization” of the unnamed, yet clearly-being-discussed Hasheem Thabeet.

As you’ll see in the video below, Rudy Gay utterly baptizes Al Thornton with a baseline jam. Good stuff, Rudy. Well done. But as he is doing it, you will also hear Clippers announcer Ralph Lawler discussing this year’s coveted number two overall draft pick and saying “…Dikembe Mutombo. But a lot of people think he’s more likely to be the next DeSagana Diop.”

OOOOOooooohhhhh, Man. Hell-o. That has to hurt. How’s your pride feel, Thabeet? (video via Hardwood Paroxysm)

And now we will now forever have this audio posterization courtesy of Rudy and Lawler that will can replay endlessly eight years from now when Hasheem is on his fourth team and playing 15 minutes per night.

And that will be funny.

In the meantime, let’s keep a look out for future — or past — audio posterizations that you come across. Everyone enjoys them, so if you find one, come back here and drop them in the comments. Or at least email me the link.

* Marv, Clyde Frazier and Jeff Van Gundy excluded

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I love the Knicks. I hate their current logo.

I have always hated their current logo. It is an ugly triangle with absolutely no whimsy. It is the least fun thing I have ever seen. It is an imitation art-deco clusterfuck of a logo with harsh lines, jagged edges and unnecessary complexity. The current Knicks logo was actually the perfect logo for the disjointed teams put forth by Scott Layden and Isiah Thomas, but that’s not exactly a good thing.

The Knicks logo has actually had two major revisions. It was once a fun but confusing drawing of a Knickerbocker, which is both a descriptor of the Dutch settlers who discovered New York and the type of pants that they wore. Is that silly? Of course it is. Not silly enough to change when you consider that there aren’t many lakes in Los Angeles, but the team did change it in 1963. Oh well . . .

The next revision of the Knick logo was the charming “parachute” design for the 1964-65 season. It was an extreme change from the previous logo and color scheme, which I always have problems with, but you can’t deny that it is a quality logo. The parachute gets more love because it is associated with the greatest success in the team’s history. Why did they decide to change this logo in the summer after Pat Riley’s team almost beat a far superior Bulls team in 1992? I suspect that the change was in the works well before that fun ’92 playoff run as a sort of karma-shift from the depressing Stu Jackson/John McLeod teams, but the plan probably should have been abandoned after Pat Riley proved that the only real way to change the culture of a team is to run it well. Oh well . . .

Please allow me to digress for a moment into my family history so that I can explain to you what I expect from a sports team logo. Once you understand my point of view, I hope that you will hate the current Knick logo as I do.

My grandpa, who died when I was eight years old, played semipro baseball and basketball in the 1930s for a team called the Astoria Arrows. He was one of my favorite people of all time (as a grandfather should be) and, as such, I would be clad head-to-toe right now in Astoria Arrows merchandise if I could find it anywhere. People would ask me what that archery-themed logo was on my hat and then I’d tell them about Al “Big Maxy” Drews, how I have a scrapbook at home of clips mentioning him in Queens newspapers, including one with the headline “Drews Sinks One” that mentions his timely “slam shot” as the highlight of game in which the winning team scored something like 20 points. The person who asked me about that logo might not care about the lengthy answer that I would give them, but the joy of talking about my grandpa one more time would make any money that I spent on Arrows paraphernalia a very worthy investment. Unless, of course, they happened to have changed the logo . . .

If the Astoria Arrows logo was changed in 1963, and again in 1992, then it would be a tad difficult to muster much emotion when I placed their cap upon my head:

“Hey, Ken, what’s that mysterious logo on your hat?” a passerby would ask.
“Well, friend, it’s actually a semipro team that my grandfather played for in the 1930s,” I would answer.
“Cool,” the passerby would say.
“Only they wore different colors,” I would add.
“Oh.”
“And the arrow faced the other direction.”
“Right.”
“And the font for the team name was different.”
“That’s great, Ken. I’m going to go now.”

Sounds like a fun exchange, huh?

It is just laundry, folks. It is a tired and trite axiom at this point, but all we root for is the laundry on the players’ backs. A sport is ephemeral and the men wearing the laundry change. We root for that laundry because it connects our past to our future. I want Charles Oakley to have a connection to Dave Debusschere. I want the team that my grandpa watched on WWOR back in the day (for free!) to have a connection to the career of Danilo Galinari and Wilson Chandler. I want any connection to my grandpa that I can get. The players change, but leave the laundry the same.

So go ahead and rank the Knicks logo low, Jared. It sucks for one of the oldest teams in the sport, playing in its most famous arena in its biggest market, to have a middling ranking…but it’s a freaking triangle. Give the Knick logo the C-minus that it deserves. How could you rank it higher? It was created in 1992 and was five years out of date even back then. It’s not the logo of the 1970 team (one of the sport’s most memorable title winners) or the logo Willis Reed had on his warm-ups when he limped out of the tunnel in 1970. The triangle isn’t the logo of the team that suited up Nat “Sweetwater” Clifton as the NBA’s first black player in 1950.

Who needs a logo with a connection to the “Knickerbocker” era of Sweetwater, Dick McGuire and Harry Galatin? Who needs a connection to Willis Reed, Clyde Frazier, Dave Debusschere, Dick Barnett, Bill Bradley, Black Jesus and the other men who wore the “parachute”? Who needs a logo with a glorious past when you have one that was on the towel Charles Smith used to hide his face in shame after getting four point-blank shots blocked by smaller players in the 1993 conference finals?

Oh well . . .

Kenneth Paul Drews co-hosts the FreeDarko Presents: The Disciples of Clyde Podcast along with the ever-loquacious, never-salacious Dan Filowitz. Ken also writes about the NBA on the DOC website and can often be found having recurring nightmares about Isiah Thomas.

knicks logo

Fun Fact: If you type “comical failure” into Google, it asks Did you mean: Charles Smith

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Well Said, Al Cash

by Jared Wade on August 22, 2009 at 4:50 pm · 1 comment

As a Pacers fan, I really hate to say anything even remotely complimentary about the New York Knicks. (Side note: John Starks sucks.)

Still, it’s impossible to not recognize how good the MSG Network is. It shows a lot of classic Knicks stuff, which is great because Clyde Frazier is the flyest known human and each time they talk about Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals, it draws us one step closer to the day we all collectively stop erroneously referring to it as “The Willis Reed Game” and start rightfully calling it “The Clyde Frazier Game.” (Walt dropped 36 points, 19 assists and 5 steals on 12-17 shooting from the field and 12-12 from the line.)

Additionally, the network often shows great non-Knicks performances very often as well. Currently, for instance, the channel is showing a program called “Returns to MSG,” which is featuring things like MJ’s “Double Nickel” game where he dropped 55 on the Knicks in his first trip to the Garden after failing to succeed in minor league baseball and Bernard King’s first game playing in New York after signing the Washington Bullets. It also includes MSG returns of guys like Clyde (who was dealt to the Cavs), Patrick Ewing (who played pretty well for Seattle), Mark Jackson (who dropped 18 and 8 and did some shimmying with the Clips), Pat Riley (who was nearly lynched for bolting to Miami), Charles Oakley (who is a guy so dope even a Pacers fan has to love) and Jeff Van Gundy (who was so gutter ghetto girls fell in love with him). Epic stuff. (0n a related-but-not-related note, this morning someone shared this YouTube link with me from when AI returns to Philly.)

In other news, the MSG Network often airs some good street ball stuff from Rucker Park, which is rare to see on television ever since ESPN’s “Streetball” show overexposed and trivialized the And 1 Mixtape phenomenon even quicker than it ruined Texas Hold ‘Em. And it just so happens that right before the “Returns to MSG” show, they were showing the “EBC at Rucker” show. Basically, it is what it says it is: a show of highlights from current and past Entertainer’s Basketball Classic tournament action from Harlem’s legendary Rucker Park.

This episode concluded with one of the greatest moments in Rucker History. It was 2003 and David Stern showed up — and brought his friend President Bill Clinton with him. The two luminaries sat there in attendance watching the action and seemed at home even though they both stood out for their overwhelming whiteness and all-eyez-on-me fame. In an interview conducted some time later, EBC announcer Al Cash aptly reflected upon what having these two men in the stands meant for NYC basketball: “It was a good look for Harlem.”

Better still was the fact that rapper Fat Joe’s “Terror Squad” team was playing that day and one of the other announcers had the foresight to borrow Joey Crack’s gaudy “TS” chain and put it around Stern’s neck.

And even better than that is the fact that there’s a photo of said incident.

stern terror squad

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For the life of me, I really never thought another announcer would ever compare to Clyde Frazier — let alone another guy named Clyde. But lo and behold, Clyde Drexler, who is usually horrible, dropped this amazing analogy during last night’s Rocket/Bulls game.

For those who can’t watch the following YouTube clip where they work or incarcerate, here’s the transcript:

Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: Nocioni cannot guard Yao Ming.

Glide: At all.

Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: I mean, that’s not even a fair contest — he needs help.

Glide: They didn’t double then. Yao was gonna score right away. He’s got no option but to foul him. Get it to him.

Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: There it is. Yao takes it to the middle and hooks it up and in. And, boy, just keep going to that.

Glide: That’s like clubbing baby seals — there’s nothing Nocioni can do.

Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: [repeated groan] Give me a better picture than that.

Glide: Well, he’s helpless basically.

Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: [groan]

Glide: Okay, I’ll work on it

Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: [groan] Yeah…please.

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