In the midst of a mundane, November game between the Houston Rockets and Chicago Bulls, Clyde Drexler came to the realization that Bulls guard Kyle Korver looks very similar to Ashton Kutcher of Punk’d, That ’70s Show and many-movies-I-have-not-seen fame. The rest of the broadcast crew also got in on the act, adding nuance to the eternal debate of Korver vs. Kutcher.
For the life of me, I really never thought another announcer would ever compare to Clyde Frazier — let alone another guy named Clyde. But lo and behold, Clyde Drexler, who is usually horrible, dropped this amazing analogy during last night’s Rocket/Bulls game.
For those who can’t watch the following YouTube clip where they work or incarcerate, here’s the transcript:
Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: Nocioni cannot guard Yao Ming.
Glide: At all.
Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: I mean, that’s not even a fair contest — he needs help.
Glide: They didn’t double then. Yao was gonna score right away. He’s got no option but to foul him. Get it to him.
Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: There it is. Yao takes it to the middle and hooks it up and in. And, boy, just keep going to that.
Glide: That’s like clubbing baby seals — there’s nothing Nocioni can do.
Irrelevant Play-by-Play Guy: [repeated groan] Give me a better picture than that.
Thus, Kareem is the winner. While it is surprising that big fella couldn’t manage one MVP, back-to-the-basket guys alway struggle to get the ball from guards in the All-Star game, so it’s not altogether shocking.
Yet, I was misled by the original question and thought “Wendell” was looking to find out who has the most All-Star appearances on his resume without winning a League MVP award. Thus, I looked that info up because that’s just the type of courteous guy I am.
Here’s a Top 10
1. Jerry West – 14
2. John Havlicek – 13
3. Rick Barry – 12
4. George Gervin – 12
5. Isiah Thomas – 12
6. Elvin Hayes – 12
7. Dolph Schayes – 12
8. Patrick Ewing – 11
9. Elgin Baylor – 11
10. (tied) Clyde Drexler – 10
10. (tied) Paul Arizin – 10
10. (tied) John Stockton – 10
10 (tied) Hal Greer – 10
Looking at that list of names, I proffer that the only possible logical conclusion we can draw is that the NBA doesn’t care about white people
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