The date is set. The popcorn is ready. The question will be answered.
Who Shot Mamba?
Tuesday.
The movie premieres.
I was fortunate to see Who Shot Mamba? already and will have some additional thoughts (hopefully) on Monday, but my quick take is that anyone who enjoyed YAY! Sports will really enjoy Brian Spaeth’s project of passion, and even those who have no idea what a YAY! Sports is should dig it just for being the fantastical, farcical cinematic romp that it is. (BTPH readers may also remember Brian from his 76ers logo breakdown a month or two ago.)
1. I generally try to steer clear of mocking the random titillating* stories that crop up from time to time throughout the NBA because that crap is really none of our business. But Wilt was so overwhelming forthright and boastful about his forays with the females that I feel it’s fair game to excerpt the paragraph below. Plus, ya know, he’s dead.
2. LATimes.com honestly ran the below photo of Wilt’s house with the following caption that still has not been changed yet, although I presume it will be shortly:
The former home of Wilt Chamberlain, a six-bedroom house in Bel Air that was built in 1971, has six bedrooms. (Sotheby’s / October 12)
Had the ad wizards at the Times thrown in an “ironically” after “1971,” I would have have bet money that Brian Spaeth had recently added “copy editorer” to his resume.
But getting back to the sexy aspect of this whole thing for a minute, here is some other interesting bedroom-centric information contained in the story.
Many of what Chamberlain once called his home’s “kinky details” are gone, among them a mirrored ceiling in the master bedroom that retracted to reveal open sky and a Cleopatra-inspired sunken bathtub that sat at the foot of the bed. A downstairs “playroom,” where Chamberlain had a wall-to-wall water bed floor, is just another room, sans water bed. And the moat swimming pool, though still accessible through an opening in the living room floor, has been divided into three smaller bodies, a lap pool built into the middle.
For those of you scoring at home, that means:
Rings
Bill Russell: 11
Stilt Face: 2
Water Bed Floors
Bill Russell: 0
Stilt Face: 1
Moats
Bill Russell: 0
Stilt Face: 1
Who’s the real winner? Check and mate.
* I Googled the word “tittillating” looking for its Dictionary.com entry because I couldn’t figure out how many Ts and Ls it had, and my search returned these basically safe-for-work “image results for tittillating.” If you look really closely, I believe that is scantilly clothed Margaret Cho on the far right … further proving my theory that Google is seriously, seriously slipping.
I don’t have a long history with the logo of the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers. In fact, if you asked me what it was today, I’d have to do a Google search, and I would use Google to do that, and then I would know the answer to my question about the logo.
Before I do that search, let me tell you one thing — I feel that Allen Iverson’s 2001 trip to the NBA Finals is forever tainted because of the logo the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers had at that time. It was, if I remember, the big, swooshy-ball, overly-drawn thing that was all part of that trend — the one where the Pistons had an angry, teal horsey on their jerseys.
I like to lift weights.
Here’s the thing — the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers had one of the classically simple looks back in Dr. J’s early-80s days. It said, in that basic “sports-stitching font,” these exact and undeniable words:
“Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers”
Then on the back, it would have the player’s full name and their phone number in case they wanted to get some girlfriends to have fun with at dancing parties.
Anyway, time to hit Google for my hard work. brb.
Yeah, I have no idea — the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers website says they’re using some amalgamated version of the graphical thing, but they have their old-school retro logo on the page header of their basketball team website. [Ed note: They are indeed using the old one again now.]
What do you think about the Philadelphia Seventy-Sixers logo on a scale of one to ten, with 10 being, “it’s okay,” 1 being, “I like it,” and 5 being, “it’s great.”
Also, when was the last time you were on an airplane ride and why.
Brian Spaeth is the former writer of YAYsports! NBA, and the star and writer of Who Shot Mamba?, a broadband motion picture debuting October 13 on Koldcast.tv. He is also the author of two novels, including the epic Prelude to a Super Airplane. He no longer uses question marks.
The Hawks could learn a lot about admitting a collossal mistake and embracing retro from the Sixers.
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