Basically, once upon a time, Andrew Bogut got fouled and was supposed to shoot two free throws. But he’s a terrible free-throw shooter as you know. So Brandon Jennings, who is a good free-throw shooter and a guy who me and like a dozen other people call The Pterodactyl, thought to himself that he could use the ensuing commotion of the referee telling the scorer’s table what had just happened to sneak in and take the free-throws.
And it worked.
Sorta.
Brandon steps to the line, catches the pass from the referee and shoots — and makes — the first free-throw. But the other ref soon realizes what’s going on and runs over and is all like “the jig is up, Pterodactyl Face With The Flat Top” and takes the ball away, ruining both Brandon’s master scheme and disappointing all the children.
Then Bogut goes to the line as regularly scheduled.
And, in a tale as old as time, he misses two free throws.
I’m not sure if you’ve heard this yet, but Brandon Jennings is incredible. Not only did he drop 55 points in his seventh career NBA game, but he’s averaging 25.2 ppg for the season on 48.2% shooting and 51.9% from three, which would not only be fantastic for, say, Steve Kerr, but is particularly impressive for a 20-year-old who fell to the 10th pick in the draft, at least in part, because he was said to possess a suspect jumper.
So, just FYI, we’ll now be referring to him as The Pterodactyl around these here webtubes. Matt Moore of Hardwood Paroxysm came up with it. djturtleface gave us the below illustration. And I think it’s a perfect fit for the kid who has inspired us to say “Chuck Norris is the white Brandon Jennings.”
Unfortunately, I’m not a professional NBA blogger yet. No, no. This nonsense is pure amateur hour. In my actual career, I’m a mailman. A letter carrier. A master of the postal arts. Il postino.
It’s not the best job, but I make it much better. I steal. A lot. I’d say that out of any given ten letters I pick up, I thieve seven or eight. And ya know who writes a ton of letters? NBA players. I was shocked too. But I’m talking, like, a ton. In fact, the only thing they mail more than letters are postcards. Yup. Postcards. They send em to everyone. They send them to each other. They send them to their coaches. People send postcards to them. And sometimes they even send postcards to themselves.
I’m not really up with the tattooing trends of today, but it’s beginning to seem that “giving yourself a tagline across your shoulder blades where your name would go on a jersey” is the new “giving yourself a tagline across your stomach like Pac and Nas.”
Logistically, it makes sense. There’s more space, so you have a few more characters to work with.
Michael Beasley is the lastest addition to the club and his is particularly interesting in that he paid homage to the Nas’ “God’s Son” belly tat but relocated the words to a trapezius canvas. (via Red’s Army)
Much like Tupac’s “Thug Life” piece (and, later, Nas’ “God Son”) popularized the stomach tat trend, 50’s “South Side” (of Jamaica, Queens) piece probably helped spur this new phenomenon.
LeBron probably has the most famous one (via Slam). Unrelatedly, I saw the theatrical trailer for More Than a Game, the upcoming documentary about his Akron, Ohio, high school basketball team, last night prior to The Hurt Locker (which was excellent). It looks really, really good.
Meanwhile, Bron’s “arch-rival” Deshawn Stevenson got one of his own. (via DC Sports Bog)
This isn’t a real tattoo, but Sideshow Varejao poked some fun at his teammate one day during practice. (via Shaver Sports)
Jameer Nelson has embraced his inner Tupac.
Brendon Jennings is similarly repping a Lil Wayne slogan.
Vince Young isn’t in the NBA, but he does have his name on his back.
Some Chinese Olympic badminton player named Cai Yun is the “Face of Adversity.”
Unfortunately, this year’s NBA Draft day video from the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society is sort of like the Godfather III of the series — we are all obligated to watch it and, ultimately, it’s not even horrible, but the bar had been set so high by its predecessors that you cannot be anything but disappointed.
Aside from the line that became the title of this post and the line about Rubio, there’s not a lot here.
But, much like Godfather III did for Godfathers I & II, this one does at least remind you that you should go back and re-watch the originals. Another silver lining: No Sofia Coppola.
In other post-Draft news, this happened. You gotta love it when Joe Budden comes off as the articulate one. Now, normally, I would be the first one to kid around about this cause there are some pretty funny lines in there, but since most people are obviously going to be in an uproar about this and take it all seriously and talk about how this represents not only why Brandon Jennings himself is a failure at life but why this whole generation of NBA players has sullied the good name that the NBA had back in the days of Larry & Magic even though Larry Bird likely said stuff that was worse than this about other players every day and Magic cheated on his wife constantly, let’s all just pre-emptively calm down and realize that a throwaway conversation between Brandon Jennings and Joe Budden is really not that serious. He was speaking off the cuff in a laid-back setting and just talking junk as people are wont to do. Is it funny? Certainly. Is it major news? Certainly not.
Meanwhile, it looks like Brandon was incorrect in prognosticating that his new team would re-sign Charlie Villanueva, who was not given a qualifying offer by the Bucks today and has already said his goodbyes to his cheese- and beer-loving fans. Looks like Buddens was spot on that “that bum-a** n****” Luke Ridnour will not be backing up Brandon at the PG this year and, instead, the Bucks will be throwing all their available cash at Ramon Sessions to be the starter…further proving my theory that Joe Budden knows more about the NBA than Stuart Scott.
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