Weezy F. Baby is back with a mailbag. It’s actually really shitty and the only NBA-related part is where he (blasphemously) answers the following question.
Peter in Fresno: Wayne who do you think was a better scorer in his prime, Kobe or Michael?
Kobe. I’m going solely based on style points here, because both of those guys can pretty much score whenever they feel like it. Jordan hit you in the face but Kobe hits you right in the mouth. It’s different. Jordan would take the layup sometimes, but Kobe’s not going to do that. He’s gonna dunk it on you right in front of your mom and your kids.
I actually don’t really know what you’re talking about, but cool.
And maybe stick to the blogging and leave the mailbagging to SImmons and Reg.
Known Associates:
Best Blogger Alive,
Mamba,
MJ
Guess what, Both Teamsters? You’re getting a Weezy double-feature as well. I know, I know…it’s like Channukah came early. But please, you can keep your po-tay-to pancakes.
With no more ado, here’s the NBA highlights of Dwayne Michael Carter Jr’s Thanksgiving Day post:
LeBron James might as well go out with a Knicks jersey on at this point. What’s happening is so unfair to the Cleveland fans. All they hear about is LeBron and the Knicks. It seems like a rough, rough time to be a Cleveland fan right now. LeBron’s got a tough decision. If I was the man LeBron is, I’d go ahead and make that move. LeBron is bigger than life, and Cleveland can’t hold him.
Valid points.
But much more important than that is the fact that Pat Riley not only knows who Lil Wayne is, but he is familiar with his touring schedule.
I went to the Heat game on Monday night to check out my man DJ Augustin, who is from New Orleans. Dwyane Wade was amazing and I also met Pat Riley. I was sitting courtside and he came walking by and wished me luck playing at the arena on Sunday, so that was cool. He was just passing by and I was watching the game so we didn’t get to talk much, but I appreciated that. It’s always cool to meet players and coaches you watched when you were growing up, and I get nervous sometimes. It’s a lot different than meeting guys you watch as an adult.
But Armani wearing, slickback Hall of Fame coaches aren’t the only NBA legends Weezy gets to meet on a regular basis. Oh no. He’s also kicking it with Bad Boys enforcers and WBNA ladies that I’ve never heard of.
Last year on my tour I met Rick Mahorn and Bill Lambeer [sic] ’cause we were staying in the same hotel. They were there with their WNBA team the Detroit Shock and they were funny. That was right around the time they had just acquired Ivory Latta, and she came in to the lobby and saw me and started screaming, “Oh, s—t! I love you!” She was screaming, man. I told her I loved her game and to keep doing her thing.
Coincidentally, that’s the exact same advice I gave Birdman Jr when he asked me for blogging advice.
Known Associates:
Best Blogger Alive,
Bill Laimbeer,
DJ Augustin,
Flash,
LeBron,
LeBron 2010,
Mahorn,
Riley,
WNBA
For the headline that rhyme with half a dime, you know Weezy had to go big.
And what? You thought lil money was gonna disappoint? Please.
I also just love Ron Artest with the Rockets. He gives them an aggressive edge, but after what happened last week against the Suns I think that pretty much goes without saying. The Rockets never would have gotten into it like that without him. Tracy McGrady? Come on. This is the same guy who said he wasn’t coming to New Orleans if the All-Star game was there. That guy? Come on. So then when the All-Star game came around who all of a sudden gets an injury? Tracy McGrady. Yeah. And the best part about that fight was that Artest did not even move. He did not get involved. I felt bad when Steve Nash got knocked to the floor, that poor little guy. Rafer Alston’s from the playground, so that’s gonna happen. Shout out to him because that’s my homie.
But Skip wasn’t always Lil Wayne’s homie. They actually mixed it up one game when dude was sitting courtside and he got offended after Rafer made an “inappropriate gesture.” What Weez considers “inappropriate,” I have no idea, but I’m picturing a donkey show-type scenario. Then again, that probably would have made Sportscenter.
Rafer and I have an interesting history. There was one game back when I had courtside seats with the Hornets when I was talking trash to him and he made an inappropriate gesture toward me after he made a shot. I’d been heckling him the whole game, talking trash and I was very offended by that gesture so I kept talking. And then Tracy McGrady came over near me and bent over to make it look like he was catching his breath, but he had really come over to talk to me about it. Chris Paul came and did the same thing. He was like “Whatever you’re doing it’s working ’cause you’re getting in his head.” He stopped shooting after that. We had a good talk after the game and we worked things out. He’s a good guy, so shout out to him.
He also talks about how him and Flash randomly live in the same building in Miami.
Dwyane Wade actually lives in my building. We have this building where you are the only person living on a given floor, so when the elevator opens it’s just your place. People usually just leave their doors wide open like I do and treat the elevator like their real front door because you’re not supposed to ever stop on a floor that isn’t yours. But one day I got on there and the floor stopped at eight and the door opened and there was Dwyane Wade standing there. I hollered at him and told him he had a nice place. We live on the beach, but the funny thing is some guys in his entourage have a place in another building and my entourage lives directly across from them. So my entourage and his entourage are always out playing basketball together. D-Wade’s a cool guy, but I’ve never really been invited to his games. I guess I need tickets. I guess we could play video games or something together when we’re both home, but I don’t know if he plays and I’m not so good. I like to play golf and soccer video games, anyway.
Lastly, and in case you needed another reason to hate the guy, Nelly doesn’t believe in Chris Paul. C’mon, dude’s got more game than the Bulls and Sonics. Also…kill yourself.
We bet on games sometimes and last year we bet a pretty large sum of money on the Hornets. Nelly didn’t think they’d make it past the first round and I did, so we put money on it. When I beat him he had to pay me $19,000 dollars. That’s the most I’ve ever bet on sports.
Good work, Weez.
Known Associates:
Best Blogger Alive,
CP3,
Flash,
Rockets,
Skip To My Lou,
Suns,
TMac,
Tru Warier
It’s Weezy, baby. And he wants to thank all of you that congratulated him on his new-to-the-world, first-born son Dwayne Carter III. Yup, the real Carter III is here.
I want to shout out to everybody who came through on the two-way to congratulate me. LeBron sent me a message, Michael Smith texted me and Chris Paul sent me a Hornets baby jersey, which was amazing.
He discusses how his life essentially revolves around sports before moving on to the NBA. And, yup, he’s prognositcating.
I watched the Celtics get their rings last week and that was a very emotional night. Paul Pierce deserved it most, so it was great to see him get it. But will the Celtics repeat? No.
The champions this year will come from the West so consider me your Western Conference correspondent.
The Lakers look wonderful. I think they won their first three games by 65 points combined. It’s tough to predict how many wins they’re gonna get this season. If they keep going like this and they reach 60 then I think they’ll pass the Celtics 66 wins last year, which would be nothing short of amazing.
And it’s getting a little harder to post this stuff with tongue-in-cheek mockery when he has the same opinions of guys like Trevor Ariza (a definite key to that team) and Derrick Rose (a Hall of Fame talent) as I do.
Lastly, he keeps the block hot by jumping on the disparaging Greg Oden bandwagon.
Greg Oden is a bust. He’s gotta show me something, man. I don’t get it. At what point in time was he dominant? I’ve never seen it. You’ve never seen it. Maybe NBA officials know something we don’t. That’s all I can figure. Maybe somebody on that staff has seen something we haven’t. But until he shows me something, I’m gonna declare him a bust. Damn shame, too.
Ouch. Burned big man with that 500 degreez fire.
Known Associates:
Ariza,
Best Blogger Alive,
CP3,
Greg Oden,
Lakers,
LeBron,
The Truth,
Weezy
