Both Teams Played Hard
Both Teams Played Hard

It looks like I’m gonna hafta start frequenting Alana G. aka The Artist Formerly Known As Miss Gossip’s website from now on. Cause as a follow up of her post on interviewing Sheed about his chapter in the FreeDarko, here she is dropping a continuation of that same interview in which Sheed gives us multiple nicknames for just about every player on the Pistons.

As for himself, he offers the well-known Roscoe as well as “The Dirty 30″ and calls himself The Anchor of Comedy on the Team.

“I’m serious on the court but off the court, yeah, I’m a jack-ass.”

That’s why we love ya, buddy.

The video chronicles of The Machine are becoming more legendary by the day.

Here “Sasha Vujacic” finally comes clean and let’s us know what happened in Game 4 of last year’s NBA Finals. You can find all the other amazing ones here. (via Ball Don’t Lie)

So it seems that Stephen Jackson got stuck in the eye by the long, chorizo-esque finger of 1st-Team All-Ugly member Chris Kaman last week. But will he rock some of those sweet, James Worthy-throwback goggles until his glazz can heal? (via FanHouse)

Don’t expect Jackson to wear any protective gear for his left eye, which is still pink after being poked by Clippers center Chris Kaman on Saturday.

“No goggles. No, no, no. Never. I’m not going to be like Rip Hamilton, where my nose is broken eight years ago and I still wear a mask,” said Jackson, who injured the same eye during the preseason. “The only way I’ll wear a patch is if my eye’s closed. I’d rather stay with Captain Jack, not Pirate Jack.”

In other words: No. Hell no. Shit might fuck up his game and we can’t have it, Billie Ho. Now come on, shoot this one, daddy, and let’s go to Sizzler.

The Pepsi Center is festive. Just like Christmas morning. (via Hooped Up)

In addition to being a sweaty bastard, Channing Frye is reportedly a pretty big weirdo.

Helping to confirm such suspicions is his blog’s most recent edition of “Would You Rather? Wednesday,” which, to my knowledge, is also the first edition of what promises to be a splendid way uplift you from your mid-week doldrums.

The entire post reads:

Would you rather eat bologna with every meal for the rest of your life, or just eat a live eel once a year for the rest of your life?

A) I’ll choke down the eel

B) Gimme the bologna

Eel is currently winning in a landslide, so all you first name O.S.C.A.R. fans get over there and rock the vote. There are also some sweet photos.

Here’s a brief video of Sheed being asked by Alana G. about the Macrophenomenal Basketball Almanac stat that he plays better after he gets a tech.

The Both Teams Played Hard book review is still forthcoming, but in the meantime, the FreeDarkoers can rest assured that, at the very least, they will be receiving some extra credit purely due to the fact that I have now typed the name of their book so many times that, after decades of pure guesswork, I can finally type the word “phenomenal” without a squiggly red line appearing beneath it at least two out of every three times I attempt to write it.

Not perfect, but Meatloaf assures me it’s not bad.

(video via, conveniently enough, FreeDarko)

How else can one explain his derogatory remarks towards the national cuisine of our fine South of the Border friends? (via Intentional Foul)

“I can’t believe people who buy season tickets get worked up over a goddamn $1 [blank] taco.”

“[blank]“?

What the hell did he say that your paper could only print as “[blank]“, Mr. Brian Windhorst?

It’s sort of important.

Was it “delicious”? “Fish”? “Mexican”? Until we get official confirmation I’m just gonna assume it was a racist epithet for a Mexican person. For shame, LeBron.

The Puerto Ricans and Dominicans in New York are gonna hate this unrepentant bigot.

King James doesn't like you.

I included the link to Shaq’s fake Twitter account in the Carnival of the NBA (under Kobe at #24), and later came to find out that some people actually thought that the clearly counterfeit account run by a certain impostor was legit. For real, the Michael Bay updates on Skeets and Dwyer’s preseason previews were more apt to be genuine.

But I digress.

The real news is that Diesel wasn’t happy he was being imitated and has indeed set up an actual Twitter account to set the record straight. (Hat tip to PhoenixSunsGirl and Alana G.)

“Somebody out there was trying to use my language and trying to speak for me,” O’Neal, sounding more amused than offended, said Wednesday night in a telephone interview. “Rather than have that happen, I thought I’d do it myself.”

O’Neal added: “It’s a fun thing. It’s a way for fans to connect.”

He now goes by THE_REAL_SHAQ and his tweets (a retarded word synonymous to “updates”) have included the grandeur that is:

Why is steve francis sittn on the houston rocket bench Thingsdat make u go ummmm

On my way to practice, running late and i got stop by the cops, aaaaaaaggh

Stuart scott from espn said greg oden looks 42 , lol dats funny

I just texted gary payton, one of the greatest point guards ever

So u wear a cape and win a dunk contest and they call u superman So

This is straight from the shaqs mouth I love phil jackson Kobe bryant is the best palyer in the game And the shaq kobe, kobe shaq was the best one two

Good morning everyone. Let me give you all a hint on how to relate to me, Shaquille O’neal I have a sense of humor I am very quotatious I am super intell

Okay. That’s more than enough.

Thus far — pretty weak. But we’ll continue to monitor this jumpoff for ya and relay anything that proves to be truly quotatious.

In other news, click the ensuing link to follow the always-riveting Both Teams Played Hard Twitter.

THE_REAL_SHAQ