30 Teams, 30 Haikus, No Point

If you are like me, you’ve spent the last 24 hours pacing your house while mumbling “basketballbasketballbasketballbasketballbasketball” to yourself, and plan on doing so for the next 70 minutes. So, in a complete waste of time with no point whatsoever, I give you 30 haikus for 30 NBA teams, so you can pass 5 more minutes until we finally get to watch the NBA again. And just for fun – I won’t tell you what haiku is about what team (though you might very easily realize that they’re ordered alphabetically).


We gave JJ cash

Now let’s hope he earns it. Hah!

I made myself laugh.


If you are real old

And your surname is O’neal

The Celtics want you.


Crash and Captain Jack

Are just good enough. For what?



’08 Jazz are back

Starring D-Rose as D-Will

So hope Bull fans.


Cavs fans all hoping

That Eyenga is messiah

Or this year will suck.


Dirk will still get his

Twenty four and eight a night

Who helps? Mahimni?


Melo to New York.

Or the Bulls. Nets. Rockets. Clips?!

Lebron all over.


It can not get worse

But will not get much better.

Don’t say McGrady.


Bye bye Nellieball

We’ll all miss the happy days

Of Monta at 4.


As stars demand trades

Daryl Morey lurks. Waiting.

Who wants Jordan Hill?


Forget legal stuff

Darren Collison is here.

Zach is going down.


Impressive young core

And Blake Griffin hitting town.

High hopes. Déjà vu.


If Kobe wants six

And Phil wants one more three peat

Please give Pau the ball.


Rudy Gay will get

Durant cash. Or is it the

Other way around?


Lebron Wade and Bosh.

Axis of evil? Maybe.

Awesome nonetheless.


Bogut is so good.

Luc Longley would be so proud.

Aussie centers rule.


When you watch Darko

Try not to look at the bench.

Kevin Love is there.


Anthony Morrow

Has a jumpshot that can make

Kendrick Perkins smile.


Chris Paul is the star

But look out for Lil Buckets.

Won’t be Lil for long.


Melo. Paul. Tony.

Dreams are fun until you wake

And start Bill Walker.


KD is da man

And Russell fits as Robin

But who’s number 3?


By now, we know this:

Dwight will win DPOY

But fate goes with Meer.


Iggy and Douggie

Will try to squeeze out playoffs.

Jrue is spelled with J.


And for this year’s trick

Steve Nash will turn Turkoglu

Into a 4. Ball.


Rudy Rudy Rud.

Lots of fuss for a backup.

But that hair. Hot damn.


Blazers in 09,

Durantula’s boys last year.

Now Kings? Not yet. Soon.


No fear, aging Spurs.

George Hill will win MVP.

Yes, I am sober.


At least the fans will

Have fun booing Bosh. Sorry

Nothing to see here.


Al will quickly make

Jazz fans forget about Booze.

Insert Mormon joke.


Matt Moore loves JaVale

And John Wall will gun for ROY.

Oops. Wrong word. No guns.