“Take A Tour of Eddy Curry’s Body”

I know Halloween is over, and the title of this post conjures a brand of horrifying terror that not even Michael Myers can match, but, fortunately, the below video is only about his tattoos. (Although if you do really want a good Eddy Curry body-related scare in your life, just click right here and look at this photo.)

In this soliloquy he did for Mouth Piece Sports, Curry says that he got his first tattoo when he was 16 around the time when a lot of people were getting inked up because they wanted to be like Allen Iverson. Eddy was 16 in 1998 (which, by my math, means good news, Knicks fans: he should be entering his prime any day now), which was indeed the height of the era when AI was scaring white people by bringing the hood to the game where they love him for the braids and tats.

But Big Ed reveals his inattention to detail and fundamental logic when he tries to articulate the fact that, sure, he was inspired by AI, but, unlike other people, he didn’t want to emulate The Answer. Says Curry: “A lot of people were copying his tattoos and a lot of my friends were copying his tattoos. I’m glad I didn’t do that.”

Apparently, Curry either (a) is not actually familiar with the tattoos Allen that has, or (b) does not recall getting a Chinese character put on his neck and has not looked in a mirror since that happened. Because Allen has Chinese characters on his neck and so does Eddy.

I’m not an anatomy professor, but that seems somewhat similar.