The Wire: Five Seasons in Five Minutes

I know this thing has been rather YouTube-heavy of late and I know The Wire ostensibly has nothing to do with the NBA — although the coaching ability Prop Joe showed in “Game Day” might earn him a head job for some team if they all keep firing these coaches.

But I really don’t care.

It’s well known around here that I’m a full-blown Wire-head (see last year’s Western Confernce and Eastern Conference Playoff previews) and I’m making an exception this one time for this phenomenal five-minute rap verse that breaks down the plot of the entire series in five minutes. I don’t know who did this, nor do I know who chopped up the Season 3 theme for the head-nod beat, but they done kilt it. (I’ll try to track that info down and update this later.)

Obviously don’t watch this if you haven’t watched all five seasons.

And if you haven’t watched all five seasons, quit your job and do so immediately. (But don’t read the spoilers below the video.)

UPDATE: The rapper is Skillz. Shoulda realized cause he has his signature Annual Rap Up that I’ve been listening to for like five years. Here’s as far back as I can find: 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008.

My favorite lines:

McNulty and the judge get to talking for an hour
And find out the Barksdales control the whole towers
Along with Stinger Bell, the judge had heard enough
A witness goes down and the wire goes up

Police chief, yeah, his rank is proper
Because of the window, he starts a war with Frank Sobotka

Sobotka dies, too, his nephew feeling the heat
He flips on the Greek, but the Greek aint even Greek

Burrell, he makes a play of his own
Enter a contract killer named Brother Mouzone

Marlo’s got the corners, and Carcetti beats Royce
Bodie sells for Marlo ’cause he doesn’t have a choice
Cops taking pics, McNulty’s still hunting
Marlo got Chris and Snoop killing for nothing
Omar robs him for half his paper
Tells him money don’t have owners, it only has takers

Discuss.

5 thoughts on “The Wire: Five Seasons in Five Minutes”

  1. How about Omar telling his grandma that he worked at the airport because he knew she wouldn’t go there to look for him.

    Herc had to be the only character I didn’t like.

    Mike Bibby for comeback player of the year.

  2. Is that Skillz? That’s what I thought when I first heard the flow/style, but the voice sounded different. I suppose it’s easy to mistake when I only hear he once per year. Did the 2008 Rap Up drop yet?

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