Charles Oakley Will Make Your Mother a Nice Seafood Dinner and Then Never Call Her Again

I am utterly devastated that I missed out on this. (via Slam)

Here’s your chance to bid on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! The winner of this auction will receive a private dinner for 10 prepared by NY Knicks Charles Oakley (aka ‘Chef Oakley’) in your home! Winner will also receive an autographed basketball and have a photo with Charles at the dinner. Winner and their guests can bring up to 4 items each for autographing as well.

Date of the dinner will take place within 6 months of the end of the auction, with respect to Mr. Oakley’s and the winner’s schedule as appropriate. This experience must take place in your home, not a public place, hall, or restaurant. Menu will be discussed with respect to any dietary needs or concerns of the winner and their guests as needed. Winner does not have to supply food, just their home and a working kitchen!

I mean, $2,100 to have Oak cook you dinner is the bargain of the goddamn century. Ten people? That’s only like $200 a plate. I think I would pay $200 just to watch this on TV. Best part: Free shipping.

UPDATE: It looks like Oak is an actual purveyor of the culinary arts. Who knew?