Both Teams Played Hard
Both Teams Played Hard

My Grandma always said that deception is the best way to start off a marriage. In keeping with tradition, Gilbert Arenas did just that when he conned his girlfriend into asking him to marry her rather than propose himself. The whole long-winded story is in his latest blog post, but the hoodwink basically began with him writing “Will You Marry Me?” on a note and giving it to her in front of a group of people during her surprise birthday party. Then…

I said to her, “You have to read it out loud.”

So she goes, “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” out loud so everybody could hear her. It worked. It turns out she ended up asking me to marry her.

I was like, “Oh my God!!!” and started screaming like the girl who gets asked normally does. “I can’t believe you asked me!!!! Of course I will!!! Oh my God, it’s been six long years, what took you so long???!!!??? Oh my God!!! This is unbelievable!!!!”

Everyone started cracking up and laughing.

Normally, I wouldn’t bother posting something like this, but (A) it’s Hibachi, and (B) according to him, this was the entire reason:

Right before dinner I was thinking about how I was going to propose. Everybody wants to make it memorable, but I have this statistic that I’ve never, ever asked a girl out and I didn’t want to change that. Never, ever. In life. I was like, man, I got to keep this streak going.

Per usual, all about the stats. (Campaign image, via Wizznutzz.)

I haven’t spoken with Paul, but it appears as though he was expressing his approval of running-mate Sarah Baracuda’s “platform” to Dubya while visiting the White House last week. Wocka, wocka, wocka.

Meanwhile, one fellow NBA-fan cogently pointed out that this may have been the first time that the media, President Bush and The Truth have all appeared together in the same room. It looks like Rajon agrees.

Of course, when it comes to post-championship athlete visits to the White House, no one can top the comments of the man who made this blog possible:

From the Detroit News: To say that Rasheed Wallace is less than thrilled to be meeting President George W. Bush on Monday is an understatement. When asked about the Pistons’ trip to the White House, Wallace said, “I ain’t going to say [shit]* to him. I didn’t vote for him. I’m not excited at all, it’s just part of the thing.”

Said Chauncey Billups: “He ain’t lying, either. He won’t say nothing to him.”

* I’m presuming he said “shit.” The Detroit News article actually says “[nothing]“. But since it’s Sheed, I suppose it could also have been “dick” or “a muthafuck” just as easily too.

First-ballot Beard Hall of Famer Mark Eaton tells his origin story (via TrueHoop):

“I got a few stitches in my chin and the doctor said don’t shave for a few days, so I didn’t shave for about 10 years.”

“There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.” – traditional Greek saying

Apologies for the lack of activity around Both Teams Played Hard of late. As you can see, I’ve been pretty busy ironing out the details in the contract for our site’s newest pitchman, Mark Cuban.

Owner Mark Cuban said the Mavericks dealt with Howard’s flag football episode after it happened in July.

“That said, we will be going through some advanced communication-skill sessions together this training camp,” Cuban said Tuesday. “I have explained to him that cellphone cameras are not your friend and that what you think you said on camera is never what people will hear when it shows up on YouTube or TV. There is only one universal response that works: ‘Both teams played hard.’”

We’re very happy to welcome aboard the current Mavs owner, Dancing with the Stars graduate and fashion afficianado. “It’s actually a pretty shitty website that’s updated with baffiling infrequency,” said the Yahoo!-created billionaire. “But in the end, the offer was just too good to refuse.”

The terms of the deal have not been released but when asked for comment, Cuban replied “Straight cash, homie.”