Sterling Gold
I honestly have no idea how I missed this. I feel duped. Seriously, how do nearly four years go by without a single friend of mine forwarding this to me? You’re all on notice.
What I’m referring to is notorious asshole and LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling’s disposition about getting down with a hooker, which was first leaked by The Smoking Gun in August 2004.
Well, for all of those underpriviledged citizens such as I who somehow missed out on all this greatness at the time, here’s a mini re-cap (although I also suggest reading through all the select passages on Smoking Gun).
Frankly, I’m not even sure of the exact circumstances surrounding this whole thing, but apparently the first mainstream story was titled “NBA Owner Pays to Play” and for some reason, many of the questions center around whether he was just paying a trick to bust a nut, or whether he was actually in a “relationship” with her.
So, am I supposed to hate this guy or love him?
And apparently, the attorney questioning him wanted to know why he used such nice terms of endearment if she was only a prostitute. Well?
Q: Did you refer to her as honey on many occasions?
A: I call everybody. Every secretary is honey. I’m a flowery man. If you are having sex with a woman you are paying for, you always call her honey because you can’t remember her name.
Sounds logical enough.
Let’s hear some more.
A: When a girl seduces me and tells me all of these hot stories and dirty things and tells me how much she wants to suck on me and takes my shoes off and licks my feet and touches me. When I’m in a limousine and she takes [off] all her clothes. The limo driver said, “What is going on?” And she started sucking me on the way to Mr. Koon’s house. And I thank her. I thank her for making me feel good.
Q: Sir, the question was “Is this your handwriting?”
Sure, a simple “yes” or “no” would have been sufficient for most, but Donald Sterling is committed to telling the public the truth here. Being over-explanatory isn’t a crime is it? Oh, it is? My bad.
But one thing I’m still curious about, Mr. Sterling, is how was she?
A: The girl was providing sex for money. She was exciting. It was exciting. I have to tell you, and it was good. And it was delicious, and it was the best of the best. And maybe I morally did something wrong, but I didn’t…
That does sound exciting. How about another question?
Q: Did you tell your wife that?
A: I don’t know if I told my…I probably didn’t tell my wife that. Would anybody tell their wife that?
Again, it’s hard to dispute the man’s logic.
Q: And [you wrote] “I adore you more than words could express.”
A: Her best sex was better than words could express.
That does sound good. But exactly how good?
A: She was the best of the best…The best sex that anybody ever had.
The “best sex anybody ever had?” That’s a lofty claim, sir. Can you elaborate?
A: And she said, “Boy, you are going to have the best time that you ever had in your life. And then she just walked over to the bed. She lied there. Spread her legs out. And it was the most incredible sight. It was exciting, and it was stimulating.
Q: So you didn’t forget about that particular experience?
A: A man doesn’t forget about it because I never had an experience when I opened the door in a hotel room and the girl was standing there stark nude, you know, with her hands up in the air. You know, “Boy, am I waiting for you.”
Once again, you certainly can’t fault Sterling for his logic.
But still, we wonder, is she just a whore or did you have a legitimate relationship with this woman and want to have a family with her?
A: I wouldn’t have a child and certainly not with that piece of trash. Come on. This girl is the lowest form. Wait until the man testify as to…she is a freak. A total freak.
Q: Now when was it you became aware of the opinion that she is the woman of the lowest form? When was that?
A: Well, I will tell you. When a woman excites you, sometimes that part of your body that controls your mind. I knew from the day she came in that she was a total freak and a piece of trash. How did I know? The girl immediately told me she lived eight months with Mike Tyson. Not only she lived with him — he may be a fine gentleman — but the circumstances how she was “screened.” Before she could be with [Iron Mike], she had to screw this man and her girlfriend had to screw this man. And in screwing him, he had to decide — this man — whether she was a “qualified person” to meet Mike Tyson. So she gave it everything she could. She told me about each and every move — everything she did with “the screener.”
The defense rests.
