Endtroducing: The 8th Seed

by Jared Wade on July 1, 2009 at 2:57 pm

the8thseed

A few weeks back, the popular sports blog Hugging Harold Reynolds hosted a sportsblogging conference called Blogs With Balls right here in NYC. While attending something like that understandably sounds like a colossal exercise in dorkdom, I went and had a blast. Aside from enjoying the free Guinness that was flowing like wine, it gave me the chance to meet a few of the cats who runs things in the sports blogosphere like AJ Daulerio of Deadspin, Matt Ufford of With Leather and Bethlehem Shoals of FreeDarko/The Baseline. Plus, I got to booze it up with a lot of the NBA dudes that some Both Teamsters might be familiar with, like Zach Harper of TalkHoops/Cowbell Kingdom, Matt Moore of Hardwood Paroxysm and Graydon Gordian of 48 Minutes of Hell.

All in all, good times.

One of the tangible things that came out of the weekend was the idea for a recurring podcast roundtable that would feature eight NBA bloggers, which for some reason had plans to include me. Well, against the odds, we actually made good on our beer-fueled plans to put this together and actually recorded the first episode the other day, which you can now listen to it in all its glory over at Project Spurs.

(A full archive of the podcasts will also gradually develop on a standalone site The8thSeed.com, so you can also bookmark that RSS for updates. Theoretically, there is an iTunes subscription as well.)

In addition to myself, The 8th Seed features Jeff Garcia and Mike De Leon of Project Spurs, John Karalis of Red’s Army, Rey Moralde from The No Look Pass, Adam Best of Fansided and Glenn Moore of the Dugout Sports Show. (Those of you who can count may recognize that that is only seven people. Zach Harper of Talk Hoops was supposed to be there but failed to show up, something that is explained/handled in a very NSFW fashion at the beginning of the podcast.)

Because a seven-person podcast doesn’t allow that much time for any individual to speak too too much and because, like Beanie, I’m not a talker, my airtime is somewhat limited. But I do manage to compare Tyler Hansbrough to a rich man’s Eduardo Najera, give a very articulate opinion on this year’s Draft class (”These guys all suck”), alienate some Bucks fans and drop the world “macroeconomic.” Ultimately, a pretty poor performance. I’ll probably get fired. Fortunately the other guys make up for my dim insight and bring a lot to the table.

Seriously, go check it out.

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BetUS Sportsbook The ball is in your court with BetUS online sportsbook! Featuring NBA betting and NCAA action
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…in the form of a color-coded infotainment graphic that contrasts the two sides’ cumulative career Playoff scoring totals. (Taken directly from SuperSonicSoul via TalkHoops)

shaq_pts

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“Your Apathy Speaks Volumes”

by Jared Wade on June 29, 2009 at 5:58 pm

Unfortunately, this year’s NBA Draft day video from the Stephen A. Smith Heckling Society is sort of like the Godfather III of the series — we are all obligated to watch it and, ultimately, it’s not even horrible, but the bar had been set so high by its predecessors that you cannot be anything but disappointed.

Aside from the line that became the title of this post and the line about Rubio, there’s not a lot here.

But, much like Godfather II did for Godfathers I & II, this one does at least remind you that you should go back and re-watch the originals. Another silver lining: No Sofia Coppola.

In other post-Draft news, this happened. You gotta love it when Joe Budden comes off as the articulate one. Now, normally, I would be the first one to kid around about this cause there are some pretty funny lines in there, but since most people are obviously going to be in an uproar about this and take it all seriously and talk about how this represents not only why Brandon Jennings himself is a failure at life but why this whole generation of NBA players has sullied the good name that the NBA had back in the days of Larry & Magic even though Larry Bird likely said stuff that was worse than this about other players every day and Magic cheated on his wife constantly, let’s all just pre-emptively calm down and realize that a throwaway conversation between Brandon Jennings and Joe Budden is really not that serious. He was speaking off the cuff in a laid-back setting and just talking junk as people are wont to do. Is it funny? Certainly. Is it major news? Certainly not.

Meanwhile, it looks like Brandon was incorrect in prognosticating that his new team would re-sign Charlie Villanueva, who was not given a qualifying offer by the Bucks today and has already said his goodbyes to his cheese- and beer-loving fans. Looks like Buddens was spot on that “that bum-a** n****” Luke Ridnour will not be backing up Brandon at the PG this year and, instead, the Bucks will be throwing all their available cash at Ramon Sessions to be the starter…further proving my theory that Joe Budden knows more about the NBA than Stuart Scott.

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LeBron Plays One-On-One with Jay-Z

by Jared Wade on June 29, 2009 at 3:10 pm

Oh, LeBron, why must you torture your Cleveland fans so?

The Young King is sure to re-elicit the LeBron-to-Brooklyn/NJ scuttlebutt as he’s back hanging/saluting with Young Hov again, this time in Jay-Z’s just-released video for his much-needed and hopefully much-effective track “D.O.A. (Death of Auto-Tune).” Bonus points go to S. Dot for playing cards with Harvey Keitel in a restaurant kitchen back-room and dropping the line “I know we facing a recession but the music yall making gonna make it the Great Depression.” That right there pretty much sums up the past eighteen months of mainstream rap.

Obviously, people are going to take this comparison the wrong way, but this pairing is pretty much the 2009 cultural equivalent of the MJ/MJ collabo “Jam,” which we were just talking about the other day. Although, let’s hope Jay has a better jumper than Michael Jackson did. (Props to @HarleyBlock for the find.)

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MJ & MJ & MJ

by Jared Wade on June 26, 2009 at 10:20 am

It’s quite possible that, at one point, Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson were the two most well-known humans on planet Earth. And here they are together playing basketball in the video for “Jam.”

Also, remember the time Magic Johnson starred as Eddie Murphy’s man-servant in the video for “Remember the Time”? What was that all about?

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2009 NBA Draft Preview

by Jared Wade on June 25, 2009 at 5:11 pm

As previously mentioned, I don’t know shit about virtually any of these soon-to-be NBA rookies and, thus, can’t help you out with much insight.

One thing I do know, however, is that Disciples of Clyde conducted the best mock draft you will ever see. Er, ever hear. Listen to Dan and Ken give their thoughts on who the first ten picks will be. (Even if you’re seeing this after the Draft, it’s still definitely worth you’re time. Trust me.)

If this isn’t the best thing you listen to all day, you can write me for a full refund. FreeDarko Presents the Disciples of Clyde NBA Podcast is also the co-best NBA podcast going (along with The Basketball Jones, who had their own humorous take on the draft as well), so do yourself a favor start subscribing on iTunes today.

doc

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Did you hear there’s a Draft tonight? I know, I almost missed it too. No one has been talking about it but, apparently, executives from thirty teams are going to sit around making phone calls all night in Madison Square Garden and decide the future of their franchises while a bunch of young men in funny-looking suits put on ugly hats that transform them into instant millionaires. It’s supposed to be wild.

Honestly, until all the trading went down, I wasn’t even all that excited for the NBA Draft for probably the first time in my entire life. I mean, it’s always a great event and watching it is one of my favorite things to do each year so I was looking forward to it in the same sense that it’s always cool when Christmas comes along, but I just really don’t have an informed enough opinion on most of the guys people are talking about as lottery picks to have gotten all that fired up.

To be completely truthful, I could barely pick any of Tyreke Evans, James Johnson and JRue Holiday (who might have the best draft-day name since D’Brickashaw Ferguson) out of a lineup. And if I haven’t actually watched you play in a basketball game five or six times, I really can’t pretend to know what the hell I’m talking about when I discuss your pro potential.

Eagerly trying to read up on all these guys can help, but it often just make things worse by bringing faux-knowledge into the equation. I try to check out as much info as possible and subsequently end up trying to sound intelligent when out drinking by saying things like “I like Johnny Flynn a lot but I think his size might mean he’s a bench player at best” or “I’m pretty concerned about Dejuan Blair’s MRI,” but all the scuttlebutt, innuendo and flat-out misinformed descriptions that are out there about how these kids actually play the game means that even doing your homework isn’t going to propel you into some new stratosphere of insight if you didn’t actually watch the games. (Wait, someone is seriously trying to get me to believe that Gerald Henderson is going to be the next Latrell Sprewell? Hmmm. Considering that I have actually watched Gerald play at Duke for three years and I have also seen this, you, sir, are either peddling misinformation or just lying to me.)

Essentially what I’m saying is that I have no clue which of the players in this year’s Draft will be any good. Partly, it’s because I really don’t watch much NCAA basketball anymore. It’s not that I don’t like it, it’s just that every time I go into an evening thinking “Nice, UNC/Duke is on tonight,” I later find out that the Jazz are playing Denver or the Heat are playing the Suns, and I end up watching that instead. The quality of play is just so much higher and Dwyane Wade literally does something in every game he plays that would be the ACC highlight of the year if he did it while playing for Clemson. Still, if college hoops were played during the NBA offseason, I would watch every game. But rarely does my desire to watch even a great match up like UConn vs. Syracuse supersede the feeling that I would be missing too much if I chose to watch that over Deron vs. Melo.

On top of my lack of first-hand knowledge about this year’s draft crop, I also know that I have been waaaay off about a lot of players even back when I did watch a ton of NCAA hoops. I thought Boozer would be mediocre at best, for example. I absolutely adored Ron Mercer. I thought John Wallace would be a beast. I saw Rashad McCants making a few All-Star teams. I was a huge Maurice Ager fan. I even sort of liked Hilton Armstrong quite a bit for some reason. (On the other hand, I have actually gotten a few things right: I couldn’t believe Vince Carter didn’t go #1, I’m still baffled as to why Josh Howard fell to #30, I loved Shane Battier and I was one of the few people who had any inkling that Dwyane Wade would be a superstar — although I admittedly had absolutely zero idea he would be this good).

Despite all this, there is one definite opinion I have about the 2009 Draft, however: I would take Ricky Rubio over Blake Griffin.

It’s impossible to dismiss Blake’s incredible numbers or look past how easily he dominated the college ranks last season. His ability to rebound will definitely translate to the pro level. He might even be an NBA All-Star some day. That is all true. I know all that.

I just think Rubio has the potential to be legendary.

Like everyone else, I haven’t seen him play all that much, of course. But who would you want if I told you that you could either have (a) a guy whose upside is a pre-alcoholic Vin Baker, or (b) a potentially beloved 6′4″ teenager with floppy hair who has the chance to be the next great white point guard?

From a purely on-the-court basketball standpoint, I can see why Griffin is so appealing — he’s a can’t-miss talent who has zero potential to not be very good. And generally, my belief on how a GM should approach a draft is to be risk-averse. The upside argument for taking guys like Tyrus Thomas who can’t necessarily do anything great on a basketball court over guys like LaMarcus Aldridge who have proven skills that apply to any level of basketball has always puzzled me. I would take LaMarcus over Tyrus thirteen times out of ten.

But if this Spanish kid can figure out how to pass the ball with as much flair, presence and effectiveness as he has done internationally, the Rubio phenomenon — both on the court and off the court — could reach giant heights. We’re talking about a taller, goofier-looking Steve Nash-type of fan-love. Something like that not only makes your team instantly relevant Leaguewide and featured nightly to casual Sportscenter viewers, but it gives you the franchise foundation point guard that it is becoming increasingly clear that the best teams in this League now all need. (Yes, I know that Orlando and Los Angeles both made the Finals without marquee PGs, but the Lakers are a special case because of the triangle and Orlando had a lot of other things working in its favor this post-season. The Cavs are obviously another team without a great PG, but (a) look what happened to them, and (b) any team with LeBron is always going to be an anomaly.)

Ultimately, the NBA is an increasingly perimeter-based League, so I’m taking the potentially transcendent PG over the certainly sound big guy.

Take Rubio over Griffin. I’m certain that this is how it should be. Write it down. Take a picture. Book it. Ricky Rubio will have a better career than Blake Griffin. It’s a certainty.

Just remember that this is merely the opinion of a guy who would have taken John Wallace over Ray Allen in 1996 — and remember that all the other “expert analysis” out there is coming from people whose perspectives have been equally flawed in the past.

They just won’t tell you about it.

john wallace

John Wallace: Future NBA All-Star

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Throwback at Noon: The 50 Greatest Nicknames

by Jared Wade on June 23, 2009 at 3:12 pm

Contrary to popular belief, this site has actually existed in one form or another since way back in 2006.

The first thing I ever wrote here was about how much I enjoyed watching Dwyane Wade even though, at the time, him and Shaq were facing an 0-2 deficit in the Finals against the Dallas Mavericks. Needless to say, I was one of the few people outside of Miami who actually was happy to see the Heat come back an win about a week later, even if that title will always be tarnished by the outcry over the officiating in the series. (Some of the rationale is explained in #14 here.)

As I recall, I wrote maybe two or three other pieces for the site that following summer and eventually ramped it up to a around one column per week during the 2006-2007 season. Then right in the midst of the Playoffs when I was starting to figure out how to do actually do this stuff a little bit, the server hosting my site crashed and I essentially lost everything I had ever done. Fortunately, most of it was centered around either poorly written jibberish, horrible predictions or boldly stated claims that were clearly wrong. So in some ways, that server crash has rid allowed me to forgo walking around with the scarlet letter of shame that a searchable archive of garbage represents. Unfortunately, however, there were a few things from that era that I wish I still had.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, through the wonders of the “Wayback Machine,” I was just able to find a few of my old posts. And by some stroke of random luck, all three of posts I actually recall being fond of were recoverable. Thus, I figured I may as well put these “Lost Tapes” up over the next few days to (a) get them back into my archives, and (b) give those of you who have had enough NBA Draft speculation something else to read amid your never-ending endeavor to pilfer a paycheck from your employer.

Here’s the first recovered piece in it’s entirety below under it’s original title: “The 50 Greatest NBA Nicknames.”

Essentially, compiling all these and deciding on my favorites as I went along was the genesis of the ongoing Both Teams Played Hard “Every NBA Nickname Project,” which, even if still woefully incomplete, has been somewhat of a fan favorite around these parts. This list was originally posted on March 10, 2007, and I’m just going to leave it as it was originally put together, so forgive the exclusion of any newer, more amazing nicknames like Bad Porn and The Rooster that would clearly make the 2009 version.

Without any extra ado, let’s take it back to the future.

converse-aero-jam-grandmama-tt-3

The 50 Greatest NBA Nicknames (circa 3/10/07)

50. Grandmama – Larry Johnson
Best cross-dresser in League history.

49. The Mailman – Karl Malone
Rain, sleet or snow, this guy will be really good until the fourth quarter.

48. Reignman – Shawn Kemp
Good to see that there will plenty of heirs to continue the Kemp Reign.

47. Big Game James – James Worthy
Fun with rhyming.

46. Junk Yard Dog – Jerome Williams
Wrestler turned NBA journey-man turned terrible sideline reporter.

45. The Matrix – Shawn Marion
And if you’ve heard him talk, he’s also about as well-spoken as Keanu.

44. Dunkin Dutchman – Rik Smits
Unequivocally the best nickname ever given to a 7′4″ player from The Netherlands.

43. Wife Beater – Jason Kidd
Okay, maybe this one only caught on in Boston. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Massholes break it out at again for his Hall of Fame induction in Springfield though.

* 2009 UPDATE: Hard to believe I included this one. I don’t recall being so vitriolic was I at 26. I’ve always really liked Jason the player, too.

42. Thunder Dan – Dan Marjele
I’m convinced that the only shots this guy ever made were vicious dunks or dagger threes.

41. The Glove – Gary Payton
He’s become more of a “Wet Mitten” at this point, but GP was about as good as defenders come back in Seattle.

jason williams whiteboy

40. White Chocolate – Jason Williams
The WHIT EBOY, not the limo-driver murderer or the motorcycle-crasher.

39. Kenny The Jet – Kenny Smith
Not sure I ever knew about this one until after Ernie Johnson said it 20 times a night for 10 years.

38. Half Man, Half A Season – Vince Carter
This pretty much ties a neat little bow on the over-hyped turd-sandwich of disappointment that has been Vince Carter’s career.

37. The Big Chamberneezy – Shaquille O’Neal
Frankly, I’ll call you what ever you want, Mr. Shaq Fu De La Diesel von Aristotle.

36. The Truth – Paul Pierce
Insert your preferred Jack Nicholson reference here.

35. The Logo – Jerry West
All-time silhouette of the League. Current terrible GM of the Grizzlies.

34. Kobe Stopper – Ruben Patterson
How’s that working out for you, Ruben?

33. Flash – Dwyane Wade
Another Shaq creation.

32. The Dream – Hakeem Olajuwon
More fun with rhyming.

31. The Mayor – Fred Hoiberg
Best three-point specialist to ever run a city.

ossie davis mayor

30. Birdman – Chris Anderson
Fly in any weather.

29. Irk – Dirk Nowitzki
As we all know, there’s no D in Dirk.

28. Round Mound of Rebound – Charles Barkley
He’s round. He’s a mound. He rebounds. Get it?

27. Skywalker – David Thompson
This was good even without factoring in the double entendre of him being high all the damn time.

26. Tractor Traylor – Robert Traylor
Fat guys are hilarious.

25. Air Jordan – Michael Jordan
Not sure who this guy is, but it’s still a cool name.

24. The Custodian – Brian Cardinal
Funny part is that he looks even less like an NBA player than my actual high school janitor.

23. Iceman – George Gervin
One thing he could do was finger roll.

22. Hick From French Lick – Larry Bird
The only thing better than that wispy blond mustache was that blond mullet perm.

21. Pistol – Pete Maravich
This alliteration is approved by the cold, dead hands of the NRA.

Iverson and Jordan

20. The Answer – Allen Iverson
If he’s the answer, what was the question? What is how can we as Reebok marketing execs steal $100 from children in exchange for some poorly made shoes, Alex?

19. Earl the Pearl – Earl Washington
How many times a month do you think Walt Clyde Frazier sits in his hotel room at night quietly weeping because he wasn’t the one to get the rhyming nickname? I say four.

18. Mamba – Kobe Bryant
Generally, people are not allowed to give themselves nicknames. But that all goes out the window when a guy tries to convince people to call him something so ridiculous that everyone’s response is “You want us to call you what? Seriously? Ummm…..okay.”

17. The Mustache – Adam Morrison
Better than “The Sobbing Crybaby,” I suppose.

16. Vin & Tonic – Vin Baker
Don’t think ill of me…I didn’t make it up. I just happen to think it’s fantastic.

15. Groundhog Day – Tim Duncan
You ever watch Timmy and get the feeling you’ve seen this happen before? You ever watch Timmy and get the feeling you’ve seen this happen before? You ever watch Timmy and get the feeling you’ve seen this happen before?

14. Chocolate Thunder – Darryl Dawkins
Anyone that names one of his dunks “The Chocolate-Thunder-Flying, Glass-Flying, Robinzine-Crying, Babies-Crying, Glass-Still-Flying, Cats-Crying, Rump-Roasting, Bun-Toasting, Thank You-Wham-Bam-I-Am-Jam” is a-okay in my book.

13. AK-47 – Andrei Kirilenko
When A) these are your initials, B) you choose to wear the number 47, and C) you look like the love child of Ivan Drago and Brigitte Nielson, you’re basically begging to be named after a Kalashnikov assault rifle.

12. Dr. J – Julius Erving
I wish my doctor was all about dunking and afro growing. But, nope, just turning and coughing.

11. Clyde – Walt Frazier
This guy was such a pimp that they had to go all the way back to Clyde Barrow to find an equivalent.

clyde-car

10. Hibachi and/or Agent Zero – Gilbert Arenas
Take your pick. Honestly, I’d probably put just about anything he called himself on this list.

*2009 UPDATE: The demise of Hibachi has been maybe the saddest story of the past couple years. Come back, dude.

9. Dr. Dunkenstein – Darrell Griffith
I really don’t know much about this guy. With a name like that, you really don’t have to though.

8. The Alaskan Assassin – Trajan Langdon
He was in the NBA for a couple of weeks. I’m counting it.

7. The Chief – Robert Parish
Good nickname for anyone. Great nickname for a guy that smoked weed at halftime.

6. The Rifleman – Chuck Person
When you’re one of the best three-point marksmen of all time and you’re named after a fictional Civil War veteran who’s known for keeping the peace in a small Texas town in the 1880s with a self-modified, rapid-trigger Winchester rifle, you pretty much redefine gangster.

5. Plastic Man – Stacey Augman
Is he a super hero? Is he an evil villain? Why was he made out of plastic? What super powers does this give him? I have so many questions.

4. The Boston Strangler – Andrew Toney
Either this is the guy that used to eat up the Celtics in the Playoffs, or this is the guy that raped and asphyxiated 11 women in the Sixties.

3. The Microwave – Vinnie Johnson
Instant offense off the bench, Vinnie was liable to heat up and stick twelve straight shots if he made the first one. He could also reportedly cook popcorn in two and a half minutes.

* 2009 UPDATE: Is there a form I can fill out to apologize for this “joke” retroactively?

2. Human Highlight Film – Dominique Wilkins
More windmills than Don Quixote.

1. The Enormous Mormon – Shawn Bradley
Perfectly descriptive. Partially rhyming. Probably offensive. But seriously, what more could you ask for from the all-time NBA leader in “times dunked on while flailing arms like octopi”?

enormous_mormon

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